Saturday, July 14, 2012

Solution BEFORE the Chaos Breaks Loose




Point your kids in the right direction— 
   when they're old they won't be lost.
-Proverbs 22:6 MSG

Two years ago, a bunch of us with kids started a parenting small group. We met once a month and studied "Growing Kids Gods Way" by Gary & AnnMarie Ezzo. It was life changing and it challenged us both as parents and as Christians too!

One of the best lessons learned from that study and still use today is called "Pre-Activity." This is the process of walking the child through the consequences of disobedience before it even occurs. It's that talk right before entering the park. It's that warning before entering a friends' house. It's that sit down right before having company over. 

Pre-Activity is the act of explaining the behavior expected and the consequence that will be earned if they choose to disobey.  This lesson was monumental for me and it seemed to change my child's behavior almost immediately. Do my kids always obey? Ummm ...NO! But when I warn them ahead of time and explain what is expected then the consequences are fewer by far!


I found a blog that explained this concept and a few others ideas we learned in that study, that were a helpful review I thought you might enjoy gleaning from as well.


Growing Kids God's Way: 
Discipline with Encouragement


I'm just going to highlight a few good pieces of practical information:


*Remind your children of what is expected before an event (pre-activity encouragement).  Such as, before you enter the library say, "We are going in to the library.  Today we will not play.  Mama has to drop off and pick up books.  Please stay with me.  Do you understand?"


*For older kids, you do the same thing and then ask dialogue questions so they have a firm grasp of what you expect.


*Use positive words not negative words.  Instead of, "Don't knock over your cup."  Say, "Keep your cup flat on the table."


*Reward behavior!  No, don't bribe.  Say, "Because you were good in the store today..."  not, "If you are good in the store today..."


*Rewards can be tangible and non-tangible.  Our son loves it when we praise and clap for him.  We try to catch him doing good often.


Also, one of the biggest tips I learned in the class was to teach during times of non-conflict.  Example: Today Shrade and I were sitting on a bench next to the road and I talked about safety.


*Taken from 
www.milknhoneylearnandgrow.blogspot.com/2011/02/growing-kids-gods-way-discipline-with.html


So, how do you discipline with encouragement in your home?  


Do you practice "Pre-Activity?" If not, make a plan & do it!


Start children off on the way they should go, 
    and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
- Proverbs 22:6 NIV

Direct your children onto the right path,
    and when they are older, they will not leave it.
-Proverbs 22:6 NLT




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