It's Too Hard!

Last week in, “A Heart of Flesh,” I shared with you that my baby girl told me, “Mommy, I am just used to doing bad.  I can’t make better choices there is too much bad in my heart.”  This comment of course opened up a great conversation on Jesus.  But this conversation did not end with the salvation prayer it ended with her telling me that it is just to hard to be good. 

I should probably mention that she is extremely strong willed.  She is one of those darling little girls that can melt your heart with their cuteness and smile.  Then later you find out that is just the packaging for a whole lot of attitude. But regardless she has a great big heart and I love her tons. 

Well this last week we had much more drama.  We had gone through this same situation again and again of her telling me she could just not make better choices and me reminding her that choices had consequences.  It was honestly exhausting.  It has been one of those times as a mother that I feel completely clueless and am wondering where I went wrong and what I should be doing different.   

I am very aware that God is teaching me something in all this.  Mainly about the attitude of a person’s heart toward Him but also that my will has got to be stronger than hers.  And I am telling you what that strength can only come from Christ because that girl has me beat.  She amazes me and I am sure God will use that for something good someday. 

 

One night she was helping me make her birthday cake.  She was very happy because it was a special time for just her and me.  She got to crack all the eggs, mix everything in, and lick the spoon when we were done.  What’s not to be happy about? 

While she was mixing the cake I asked her if I could read the Bible to her.  She said, “Sure mommy.”  I told her to listen carefully so she could explain to me what I was reading. I read to her Romans 7:15 and 18:

“I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”

“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do good, but I cannot carry it out.” 

She understood this and explained to me that just like Paul she had a heart full of sin and did bad even when she didn’t really want to. 

Next I read Romans 7:24:

 

“What a wretched man I am!  Who will rescue me from this body of death?”

And I asked her “who” it was that could rescue her from her heart full of sin and she told me, Jesus.  Then I asked her if she would like to ask Jesus to live in her heart and help her.  She said yes with a smile on her face and said her own prayer that went something like this:

“Dear Jesus I know that my heart is full of sin.  Please come live in my heart and help me get rid of all the bad.  Amen.”

 

She is 6 so it was short and to the point. 

That night when I was tucking the kids into bed she told her brothers and sister that she had asked Jesus to live in her heart.  I had then asked them to each pray and thank Jesus for something from their day.  This was her prayer: 

“Jesus, thank you for dying on the cross for my sin.  Please help me to turn up my listening ears so that I can hear you better and make better choices.  Amen”

I share this as a praise.  We all want that moment for our children when they realize they NEED a savior because their heart is full of sin.  I also share it for encouragement because this is a decision our children have to make on their own, no matter their age.  We can guide them and pray for them.  We can also be heart broken when we explain to them who Jesus is and what He has done for them and they look us in the face and tell us, “No, I can’t be good, it’s too hard.”  That is when it hasn’t quite clicked for them that it is to hard on their own. 

Be patient.  Pray. Wait on the Lord.  Love your kids where they are at and lead them toward their Savior.