Grace

Lately I have had quite a frustrating predicament with my oldest son: he seems to have a reason, excuse, idea, or opinion about EVERYTHING I ask him to do. For the past four years, we have really emphasized first time obedience, but it seems that has gone out of the window. I want him to obey first, and then feel free to ask me a myriad of questions as to "why". I need him to trust me and my judgement as Mom, even though his four year old mind cannot conceive "why". When I ask him to do something and he proceeds to "do his own thing" anyway or give me an excuse, my husband lovingly reminds me to " write a ticket"-- give him a consequence. We don't put him in time out, take away a priviledge, etc. to hurt him, but to teach him to obey. The idea is that an unpleasant consequence will produce a change in behavior which will result in a change of heart. I love the book of Hosea in the Bible because it outlines Gomer's infodelity to Hosea as symbolic of Israel's faithlessness to the Lord. In the beginning of the book, God states that he is going to take away his blessings from her and expose her sin. Yet what I love the most are his reasons "why":


"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope...I will betroth you in righteousness and justice in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord." Hosea 3:14-15;19-20 


I love that even God's discipline of Gomer/Israel was forward looking and not backwards reaching. He disciplined her to make her repentant and holy, pure and righteous because he knew who He had created her to be. He did not discipline her because of sheer anger over what she had done. God's perfect love is exhibited in his desire to discipline and correct his people. However, I am experiencing a new phenomenon among parents: the fear to discipline their kids because they do not want to seem "mean". Pastor Bob Coy's book Devotionary mentions that grace is not so much removing a deserved consequence, but the freedom not to sin and pursue righteousness based on Christ'a sacrifice for us. I was thinking about this new understanding of grace, I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me as well. He wants me to obey to him the first time as well. He wants me to trust Him even when things look different from my own perspective. He wants me to trust Him. Reflecting over the story of Hosea gave new insight to my discipline and training of my son. I need to be more consistent. I need to be forward looking and not backwards reaching in my training and discipline by seeing him for who God created him to be and encouraging him to that goal, as opposed to merely punishing him for what he had done. That kind of love is heart changing and gives new perspective to my job as Mom, it gives purpose to my instruction, and the courage to be "mean". 


Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you so much for your grace. Thank you for what you did on the cross so that sin's power no longer consumes me. Instead I have the power, through your grace to choose not to sin and pursue righteousness. Thank you that even in your discipline of me you are the very essence of love. Help us as moms to love our children the way you love us. In Jesus' name. Amen.


Challenge: What repeated discipline issues have you been experiencing with your children? Pray about your response and the wisdom to teach and correct. Finally, be consistent even when you are tempted not to, knowing that the ultimate goal is to teach them to be obedient to us and to ultimately be obedient to Christ. I I love the way a friend of mine put it. She said, "Our kids need to know who God is and who they are. They need to know that we are God's children and there is a King (God) in our house to whom we all must submit." Have a blessed day my friend Teresa