Faith, Hope and Love - Part 2

I had a blessed pregnancy.  I was overjoyed with our answered prayer!  I felt good, I celebrated and I praised Him often.  It was a beautiful time.  I went into my delivery with as much faith as I had ever had, so I didn't see it coming.   Are you suffering right now? 

Hope...rejoice in our suffering, suffering produces perseverance, perseverance-character and character hope...Romans 5:3

After two hours of pushing with my husband at my side, I knew I was running out of time.  I asked the nurse how long they would let me push before they would decide to take us in for a C-section.  She said three hours.  It was somewhere between 6 and 6:30 pm.  I had been in labor since that morning.  Our son's heart rate was elevated and he passed the meconium, two signs of stress.  The neo-natal team was in the room.  I pushed with every muscle I had.  I knew there was a sense of urgency in delivering this baby.  "How are you doing?  Are you getting tired?" my doctor asked.  "No, I can do it, " I responded.  Dear Lord Jesus, please deliver this baby.  I can't do it in my own strength, I prayed.  My doctor used forceps to help guide our son out - and then, there he was!  Hunter William Deutsch had arrived! 

He didn't cry.  He was blue.  And the team had to suck the meconium out of his lungs so he could breathe.  He was given an APGAR score of 3...out of 10.   Looking back, it surprises me that I wasn't  more afraid.  I just knew he was our answered prayer.  The Lord himself delivered this baby and he would be fine.  He was.  Within minutes of the team doing their work, he was a 9.  It was a rough one, but we made it.  Praise God!  I was tired, but joyful.

So, it took me by complete surprise when I woke up sometime between 3 and 4 in the morning, crying out with the most excruciating pain I had ever experienced.  During the delivery, I had fractured my pubic bone and separated the joints and ligaments that connect the left and right pubic bones.  I didn't feel it at the time because I had an epidural.  The doctor told me to expect a 12 week recovery, 6 of which I would need a walker.  I would have a home health nurse and a physical therapist. 

I expected the first two weeks of Hunter's life to be the most joyful days I would ever know.  In truth, they were the most painful and humiliating days of my life.  Of course there was love, joy and praise for our gift, but there was also a tremendous amount of pain and stress.  On my darkest day, I cried out to the Lord from my bathroom floor.  My friend and fellow blogger, Fran, prayed with me.  He answered.  He took my self pity and exchanged it for gratitude.  My son was alive and well.  I was alive.  I wasn't paralyzed; I would recover.  It would be hard, but He gave me hope.  God showed me two things that gave me hope to persevere through my suffering.  First, I witnessed the power of prayer by family and friends.  I learned that God answers the prayers of others when we are too weak to pray for ourselves.  Wow.  We serve an awesome God!  Second, my husband, who had never changed a diaper, quickly became an expert!  I laugh now, looking back at my injured self trying to change our son's diapers on the hospital bed in front of me those first couple days.  Have you ever seen the movie, "Life As We Know It"?   There is a scene in the movie where Katherine Heigl walks downstairs to greet about 10 neighbors.  To her horror, a neighbor says, "Honey, you've got poo on your face."  It really does happen!  Jeff became more than an expert at diaper changes.  He became our son's primary source of comfort, care and love, when all I could do was feed him.  It would be a while before I could carry him or change him.  But you know what?  My husband and son have an amazing, God-given bond.  Our son is equally comforted by both of us.  In his eyes, there is nothing Daddy can't do.  God also provided us with a friend of the family who would help care for Hunter while I recovered.  Her previous job had unexpectedly ended and she could start right away.  Again, His timing is perfect.  Friends and family brought meals to our home while I recovered.  Loved ones reached out with encouragement.  These were just a few, unexpected gifts that strengthened my faith and my trust in Him to provide, even as I suffered.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love...
1 Corinthians 13:12-13

Hope is the second of the three gifts mentioned.  If you are suffering, hope in Him.  He will see you through.  He will even provide gifts while you suffer; gifts that you will treasure long after the pain has subsided; gifts that will one day bring glory to Him.  What gifts has God given you while you are suffering?

As I recovered, I was able to spend more and more time with my little one.  As many have said before, I began to understand the indescribable love that God has for each one of us.  As Hunter nears his first birthday, I often find myself saying, "there's nothing better than a baby!"  I have felt, on many occasion, that there is no greater love, no greater joy than that which a mother feels for her child. 

Love...Love is patient, love is kind...it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4

The truth is...my love will fail.  As a new mom, I know there will be times when I will fail my son, just as I have failed my husband, parents, siblings, family, friends, co-workers and neighbors.  So, as much as I love my son, I know a greater love exists.  God's love, perfected through his son, Jesus Christ.  I've heard it said that God gives us children so that we can experience a glimpse of how much He loves each one of us.  He loves us even more than we love our own children!  While it's true that children are a gift from the Lord, not every woman will be a mother and not every mother will receive as many children as she desires.  But, He does invite every one of us to experience the greatest love of all - His love, through His son, Jesus Christ.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:12-13

God's love is patient, kind, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  His love never fails.  He gives us faith while we wait, hope when we suffer and love always.

Thank you for letting my share my journey to motherhood with you.  I hope that my story glorifies Him and encourages you as you wait, suffer and/or love.

Heavenly Father, thank you for loving us the way that you do.  Thank you for your generous gifts of faith, hope and your perfect love.  Thank you for giving us a glimpse of your love through the love we feel for our children.  Help us to always remember that each child is a gift from you and praise you for them.  Forgive us when our love fails and lead us back to your example in Christ Jesus.  Lord Jesus, help us to love our little ones as you do.  As we celebrate Independence  Day today, Lord, we thank you for our freedom and for the men, women and families past and present who have and will lay down their lives for freedom.  We pray an extra measure of faith, hope and love for our armed forces and their families.  We pray that while we enjoy our liberty, we will remain dependent on you, Lord. In your name, we pray.  Amen.