Deeper still

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Pr.27:17 (NLT)

I just got back from visiting Courtney and her four children. It just so happened that both of our husbands were out of town over the weekend so I jumped in the car and drove the two and a half hours that separate us. My boys and I were very excited for some sweet fellowship. Somehow I knew it was the Lord providing an opportunity, knowing my friend has sometimes really long weeks with her husband out of town a lot. I prayed we would be a blessing to her while there. Little did I know how blessed we would be.

It’s one thing to meet up with a friend for coffee or at the park. It’s a whole other matter to go into one’s home and see how they do life for two days. My friend and I talked while fixing lunches, dinners and long after the kids went to bed. We encouraged each other in God, shared experiences, vented to each other and prayed together. Our friendship is still fairly new so we talked about our families and how we grew up. I can’t remember the last time I had an entire day with a friend without having to leave because of chores or responsibilities. After awhile everyone relaxes fully and you begin to see someone for who they are. And when you discover and observe something good, your trust grows and you begin to really receive each other. As I observed good things in my friend and her family, it happened to me, I began to learn and grow.

I saw great camaraderie between the four home schooled children. The oldest girl is an amazing young woman with a sweet smile, innocence, respect and sense of responsibility as I watched her help her mom and me with anything needed. The boys exhibited character in how they nurtured and took care of their little guest friends (even when my little guy was cranky and whiny) When they were playing the Wii, my Tyler (3yrs old) had a remote without batteries so he wouldn't get frustrated when his car went off the track. All of them told him time and again what a good driver he was even though someone else was controlling the car. (such a picture of Gods love that covers!) Another time I noticed my friends youngest one was not “babied” and took her discipline without complaining, something I was convicted about with my little guy.

The things I didn’t notice were just as significant. I didn’t notice any complaining, impatience or fights between the four. That’s amazing since we were there for two days! Nobody was telling on anyone else or being mean. There were hurt feelings when someone was excluded but it was unintentional and quickly worked out. There was a maturity and self sufficiency about the 5, 6, 8 and 10 year olds that is to be desired, but here is the real message and point that I want to make. In spending time with these four, I noticed my own children behaving better, helping more readily, obeying quicker and being more content. They conformed into their environment and were affected by their friends. Even at that age, those little ones were sharpening each other and transforming lives. How powerful!

I was edified as well, being convicted how often I offer assistance to my two boys when it’s not really needed. With four, one can’t do that and has to rely on them to express their needs. The result is a child (or four), not catered to but responsible to an extent for their own well being.
This experience was so powerful to me and I began to realize what God was intending the church to be all along, examples in real life, one to another. Not when we are on our best behavior in church but at home with our family. Would we dare to invite our friends to see how we really are? And if we fall short, would our friends dare to “sharpen” us by telling us the truth?

” Now I myself am confident concerning you, my brethren, that you also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another.” Rom.15:14
” And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you,” 1Thess.5:12

We all know and read the Word on how to be and grow but this permission of a friend to speak truth into our lives is undiscovered country, at least to me. What would happen if I got so deep that I could trust a friend to tell me the truth about myself? Also, in love, tell me what my blind spots are and to help me improve. How much could I grow if I allowed this admonition through my spouse or close family member who really knows me? (I have to put a disclaimer here and say that I’m of course talking about a person of integrity and a believer) I know You have people like that in your life, not perfect but redeemed and who are for you and want your best. Spend time with someone on a deeper level this week and ask sometimes for truth about yourself, as she sees it. If you can receive it, it will be life to you. I will do the same.

“Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.” Pr.27:6 (NLT)

True friends are a gift, lets receive them and let us be one.