Butterfly Wings

A beautiful reflection from our guest blogger, Sheila:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, a new creation has come, the old has gone, the new is here! Corinthians 5:17


Every year for Christmas my kids receive a special gift from their “Uncle Sean.” This year they received a beautiful butterfly pot. It is a large pot adorned with amazing plants that attract five different species of butterflies! As we were picking up the pot, Jessica, a friend of Uncle Sean’s who put it together for us explained to my kids that when butterflies transform they actually have a whole different set of DNA than the caterpillar they began life as! This statement gives me chills and opened a wonderful door for my husband and I to have a conversation about what it means to become a new creation in Christ.

Because I am a guest blogger and don’t write for this site regularly, I have been contemplating what to write about for a while. The Lord keeps placing redemption on my heart. You may be thinking, “great let me hear it”, but I will tell you sister this was not my idea. I have quite an embarrassing and painful past that can lead me down dangerous thoughts of guilt, sadness, embarrassment, and anger which is why I was reluctant to share. These memories are often part of how the enemy tries to trick me into not focusing on what the Lord wants me to focus on. And believe me I fought God on writing about this one. The Lord continued to tug on my heart to write and encourage all of you; so I think I must not be the only one who struggles with memories of who we were before Christ. I pray that this blog encourages you so that you may know how much He loves and pays attention to every detail of your life.

As I sat in the cramped and busy child support office a couple of weeks ago. I couldn’t help but think about my past. My relationship in college…we met when we were 18. We dated for 5 years and it ended in an uproar of fights, cheating and me stranded with a baby. Sitting in this office watching many angry women look stressed and frustrated and men making comments like “if I knew then what I know now!!” yes, this brought back memories. They say everything has a consequence and I was certainly feeling it that day. You see I left him when Aliyah was 2 and I was 24. I moved in with a friend to a city where I knew no one. I was young, clueless, and scared. I had no relationship with God though I had asked Jesus into my heart at the age of 12. There was never a follow through and I had no idea what it meant to follow Christ. To feel His joy, peace, love, His hand on my life. This was the loneliest I had felt in my life thus far and it was only the beginning of my road of self-destruction.

When Aliyah was 3, I moved back home. I was on my way to trying to recover from a broken heart and figure out how to be a mommy when I moved in with my aunt whom I was very close to. She had a son who was 3 months older than me. We had grown up together. Due to the fact that she only had him and my mom only had me we called each other brother and sister. My mother and her sister are very close and Sean (Uncle Sean) and I were the only grandchildren for a long time. We went to school together, had the same friends, slept at each other’s houses, and did almost everything together. That same year, 2 months after I moved in, Sean took his own life. It’s difficult to even type that and though it’s been 8 years I am holding back tears as I type. I miss him madly but what's more is that that time for me was hopeless. I made some very bad choices and tried to stay busy to numb the hurt I was feeling, but no matter how many endless things I tried, nothing worked. My life was spiraling into a very dark place. I knew there must be more!

I finally fell on my face and went back to a church Sean had introduced to me to at age 12. It was the church where he had asked Jesus into his heart. At the time, it was behind Albertsons on Dixie highway. That small church was Calvary Chapel. Now Calvary Chapel has grown to a monumental size. Through services, Deep Faith classes, small groups, and Bible studies the Lord took me from a pitiful, depressed, and angry young woman to a wife and mom filled with hope, joy, and peace. I am more and more amazed that His hand is on my life every day! He gave me an incredible husband who encourages me that no matter how many bad things happen to us in this life our last name is child of God. We are defined by Him and not by those past incidents or bad choices. God has blessed me with two more beautiful children. He has repaired my past and healed my wounds in so many ways, but the one treasure I find most amazing is the life of my oldest daughter, Aliyah. I can’t even begin to imagine the trauma that could have developed from the first 4 to 5 years of her life. God is so good as I see her evangelize, act with compassion, be filled with joy, and not even show signs of the trauma of seeing her mom get physically abused, depressed, and heartbroken. How great it is that our God redeems!! He makes you a new creation: just as the caterpillar becomes a butterfly, the old has gone and Christ has made all things new. When my mind starts to slip back to that dark place, I remember what He has done and what He continues to do, and I praise Him and humbly thank Him!

Prayer: Gracious Heavenly Father. You were there when we were born. You are there when we hurt and when we smile. You know us from top to bottom and made us who we are today. I thank you Lord for your redemption. I pray that we would be filled afresh and anew with your Spirit. I pray that the thoughts Satan tries to use against us are combated by what you did on the cross for us. Please help us to stay focused on You always and not to lose heart-- for this world is only temporary and Heaven is forever! We Love You!
In Jesus’ name, Amen

APPLICATION

What is your thought life like? Do you ever get caught up in your past and feel embarrassed, guilty, or depressed? God wants you to know that He cares and is there for you. He doesn’t want you to focus on what He has already forgiven and forgotten.

Try to write verses that encourage you of the truth. Look at them often especially when the lies begin to creep in. Journal the things God does daily that have His fingerprint all over them. He is there and pays attention to every detail. Here are some of my favorites.


Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. PHILIPIANS 4:8


For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:35

"Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil—and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. For surely it is not angels he helps, but Abraham's descendants. For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted."
Hebrews 2:14-18 (NIV)