Our Journey as Foster Parents (Guest Blog)

Our Journey as Foster Parents

by Sandy Chapman

Yes, you read the title correctly. Some of you already know this and some of you may be finding this out for the very first time. We are and have been foster parents for a few months. We have had so many questions and comments thrown our way that I wanted to share a few insights of this amazing journey that God has put us on.



Let me start at the beginning. After having our 4th son I knew that I wanted to have more kids. However, I also knew that I did not want to be pregnant and gain another 65 lbs as I usually do with all my kids. (That’s another story.) Nor did I think my body could handle another pregnancy. Let’s face it; I had 4 kids one after another. My body needed some rest. So I began to look into adoption. I know what some of you are thinking, “She’s NUTS! She has 4 kids and wants more.” Here is my response to that. Yes, I have been blessed with 4 amazing little boys and yes I want more. God has blessed me with a gift! It is a gift of being a mother of many kids. Some people are meant to have 1 or 2 kids, maybe 3. I know that God’s plan was for me to have many. That certainly does no mean 19 kids and counting. It just means that having a house of 4 is not a big deal. It really is not that hard for us. It’s actually loads of FUN! Many of you know that I am very organized, a multi-tasker, laid back, and I have a little OCD which helps this house run very smoothly. I like to say that “I thrive on organized chaos.” Anyway, back to my story. I began looking into adopting a child from Poland since that is where my family is from. Let’s just say that although we could provide an amazing loving home for a child from Poland, we could never afford the international adoption fees and prices.



My hubby suggested that we take the MAPP classes to educate ourselves about being foster parents. My reply was “NO WAY! I don’t want to fall in love with a child and give them back!” I’m sure that is what many of you would say. Even though I knew that scripturally we are to care for the orphans, regardless of the length of time. (God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27 NIV This is just one of the MANY references to care for the orphans. It just happens to be my favorite one.) Reluctantly, we began taking the classes in the summer of 2011. Let’s just say that God convicted me with a nice swift kick in the rear. As humans we are ALL very selfish. The Pastor at our Church says it best “I’m always on my mind!” It’s human nature to only think of what is best for us, our needs, our wants. That is not what God intended for us.

The woman that was teaching our class said something that has stuck with me to this day. She said “You have to risk your heart being broken in order to mend a child’s broken heart.” Wow, all I could think when she said that. I was selfish! I did not want to have my heart broken! But what about these kids who have broken hearts? Who is going to care for them and show them Christ’s unconditional love? They are just victims of circumstances from their parents. They did not ask to be born into a home that would neglect, ignore, or even abuse them. Most of these kids are pulled from their homes with nothing but the clothes on their back. I can not even imagine the hurt, fear, and confusion they are feeling.



Well, we finished the classes and began all the steps to get licensed. 4Kids of South Florida was the agency that we got licensed with. They helped us from start to finish. We got our license in November and within days got called with our first placement. A 2 month old baby girl. Yes, I got a girl in my house! WOOHOO! She was only with us for a month. And believe it or not, I was not a wreck when she left. Of course, I was sad to see her go. But, God protected my heart. A few weeks later a 2 day old baby girl came to stay with us for 1 week. And we have already been called with our next placement, a 4 month old baby girl. Some of you may be wondering how long do these kids stay in your home? Well, it just depends. It’s kind of a case by case situation. A family member may step up and get custody of the child after they were taken away from their parents. This will usually mean a shorter term placement.Other times they can be with you the whole time that the parents are trying to get their act together. That could be many months. I have friends who have had kids for over 6 months. I know of other friends who have kids that became available for adoption since the parents could not do what was asked and required of them. Adoption? I know some of you want to know if we are going to adopt one of these kids. The truth is, I don’t know! Yes, I would love to have a little girl. However, we see how great the need is to be foster parents. There are so many kids in shelters because there are just not enough foster parents to care for them. So, will we adopt one if they become available for adoption? My response to that is, we will cross that bridge when we get there. For now, WE LOVE BEING FOSTER PARENTS!



Some of you may be wondering, “What about your kids? How do they feel about all of this?” When we started this process we sat down with them and had to explain what a foster family was in a way that they would understand. The woman who taught our class gave us a great way to explain it. This is basically what we said, “You know when we take a vacation we stay at a hotel, right? It’s like our home while we are on vacation. We aren’t going to stay there forever, just for a little while. Well, we are like a Hotel for God. We are going to let little babies stay with us for a little while. Until they find their families.” The older boys understood and have loved the journey so far. They have talked to their teachers about the babies, they have pictures of the babies in their bibles, and have even had their class pray about these babies. It has been such an amazing life lesson for our boys to see that not all kids have homes. The younger boys like to play with the babies. They don’t really know why one leaves and a new one comes. My 3 year old asked when we were going to go pick up the first placement that we had. It was so cute, he said he missed her. It will be amazing to see how they all grow and learn from this.



I hope that this encourages many of you to step up and help. There are so many ways to help. You can help by praying, becoming a foster parent, becoming an approved babysitter (so foster parents can have a date), sponsoring a child in foster care, becoming a safe house (to help families before they end up in crisis), donating supplies, encouraging and supporting foster parents. Please feel free to ask me any questions. I will be happy to answer them as best a possible. May you and your families be blessed this New Year!



Sandy