"Broken In" by Guest Blogger Sheila

“God bless you! I can barely handle one!”

I read a blog today written by Smicha Fisher that inspired me to write about this topic.
Listen, mom’s of one or just pregnant and starting out. One is hard! I remember being a mom
of one. I remember fretting over every move. Is she eating the right things and if so is it enough?
Am I spending enough time stimulating her or is she lacking intellectually and developmentally
for her age? What if I drop her? What if she gets hurt? Can I care for another human or is she
going to need therapy to fix the damage I have non-intentionally done? I pushed her limits
developmentally. I attempted to get ooos and awes’ with the designer clothes and hair styles.
All the while I was exhausted! I could no longer bathe myself in privacy. Reading was a thing of
the past. The money was gone for any extras and I had to change from me me me to her her
her!! I was learning to be selfless and I was plagued by terrible visions of what might happen to
her if I shifted my eyes away for just one second. She demanded all of my extra attention. I
remember doing everything I could think of to find new ways to spend time with her just to get
through the day. Yes ladies, one is hard!

When I heard other women discuss their multiple children or saw moms in the store
surrounded by 2 or more I felt guilty. “I can’t believe how much I am struggling with this one
child. I would never be able to handle more. How do they find time for anything?” These were
just some of the questions that haunted my mind. I felt disgraced as a mother and though I
have always been a fighter, a I can handle it all kind of girl, my invincibility was shriveled. Do
you ever compare yourself to other women? Do you hear about their accomplishments as a
mother handling many roles and wonder what happened to you? I am guilty of this. I hear my
friends with multiples leading women’s groups and think how does she do it?! I can’t even
handle my own life. I hear other children’s accomplishments and immediately compare my
children’s status with theirs. I hear of their cooking, see their clean houses, their devotional life,
etc. and immediately I am looking at myself and feeling pretty unaccomplished. Until I read
God’s word about this matter:

2 Corinthians 10:12 12 We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with

some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by

themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not
wise. NIV

Wow, not wise, A.K.A. a fool! When I compare myself to other women I am being a fool.
God created me to do the things He wants ME to do. No other mom will mommy like me. No
other house is intended to look like mine. We glean things from our friends, yes, but we do life
the way God intended.

Galatians 6:4 Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you
will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare
yourself to anyone else. NLT

Yes I have three children and though it’s time consuming I have been broken in. Many
times I tried to keep up with the preoccupation of measuring up to others but it only got me
frustrated and weary. Not the result I was longing for. I no longer fret about the imperfect hair
and clothes. I don’t worry when one doesn’t want to eat, they will get nourishment at the next
meal/snack time. I don’t envision anywhere near the amount of tragedies that I used to. I have
more laundry; spend more on food, have a messier house, but I don’t worry that everything
has to be in its place. I keep up with the needs of three schedules and don’t make it to every
function but it’s ok. I am broken in! My kids aren’t perfect but I hear scripture come out of
their mouth, hear worship songs on their lips and have seen the fruit produced in them as my
husband and I attempt to parent the way the Bible leads.

We are not intended to be each other ladies. We are intended to do the things God has
laid out for us, each of us as individuals, each of us with our own gifts and talents.

Romans 12:6-8 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given
to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with
your[a] faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is
to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously;
if it is to lead,[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

Run the race well and keep your eye on the prize that God has intended for you! Don’t be
tempted to let your mind compare you to anyone because it’s amazing what you alone have
been made to achieve. You can accomplish all things through Christ who strengthens you!!
Philippians 4:13

Philippians 4:8 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is
noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is
admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Gracious Heavenly Father, thank you for giving us unique characteristics. You know what we can
and are able to handle. Please forgive us when we compare ourselves to others. Help us to have
the strength, wisdom, and courage to accomplish the tasks You have ordained for us. Help us
to crave You more Lord and not be fooled into thinking we need to measure up to those around
us. Thank you for using all of us differently and distinctly placing us together at this time to
strengthen one another as iron sharpens iron. We love you Lord! Amen

If you find yourself comparing think instead of what you have accomplished that day,
week, or month. What task have you fulfilled that was specifically designed for you?

http://www.ncregister.com/blog/to-the-mother-with-only-one-child/