To Love

I was in the bathroom getting ready for my day when my oldest son plopped down on the toilet seat and very loudly declared that there was nothing in this house to eat.  All I could do was stare at him.  My mouth was probably open a bit in my shock because we had just been to the store where he had picked out several things he wanted for breakfast.  I reminded him of this but this was not the real problem.  The real problem was that he didn’t want any of those things for breakfast.  He wanted me to make him a big omelette like I had made him the day before. 

I sent him on his way letting him know there would be no omelette today it was an easy breakfast day.  He stomped off with such an attitude that he left a trail of it behind him and I think some of it blew up on me.  After he left I had an internal dialog going about how ungrateful he was and how he complained no matter what food I put in front of him unless it was pizza, of course.  And lets not forget that he doesn’t even say thanks mom for all the different choices he has for breakfast or that I clean up most of his mess when he eats all those things.  Oh, girl I was on a roll. 

But something in me stopped and thought.  Before I even had children I knew there would be messes to clean up and attitudes to deal with.  If my own attitude as a child were any sign of what was in store for me with my own kids then I most certainly knew there would be challenges.  But knowing all this I still wanted children.  I wanted them badly.  I wanted them because I wanted to love them. 

I forget that sometimes.  I forget that I wanted children so I could love them.  I didn’t care about the inconveniences or the challenges; I just wanted to love them.  I wanted to hold them and cuddle them.  Clean up their scrapped knees and see their faces light up at a huge stack of pancakes with strawberries and whip cream on the top.  I wanted to watch them grow and teach them about the love of Jesus.  There were so many ways that I wanted to love them.  There are still so many ways that I want to love them and I do not want to be distracted by all of those challenges and inconveniences.  I want to love them through those with an attitude and a heart that reflects Jesus. 

As I pondered this place my thoughts had taken me it turned into a prayer.  A prayer that went from me crying out to God, to God whispering back to me, “You know… I made you because I wanted to love you.”  And the flood gates where opened.  What a sweet, sweet reminder that was, I was made because God wanted to love me. 

 

“We love because he first loved us.”  1 John 4:19

 

Oh friend, no matter what your day has looked like or what it has in store for you, remember that God made you because He wants to love you.  Some of us are harder to love than others but He is up to the challenge.  He simply wants to love us and oh, how He loves.  It is a beautiful thing to be loved by God and to be lost in that love.

 

Heavenly Father, thank you so much for loving me.  You made me because you wanted  to love me.  Let that resonate in my heart today.  Let it bubble up inside of me and spill over.  Let me be a reflection of your love to my children and those around me.  Help me not to forget that I too had my children because I wanted to love them.  Help me to be intentional today in showing them that love.