The Race Continues....

Last week my sister-in-law began a post that finds its completion today.  She is such a great “Momma!”  I am blessed by her strength, endurance and sweet relationship with our Savior.  Be blessed by her words….

     

     When I think of how “training through adversity” relates to my family personally, I am reminded of my time spent as a single parent.  I recall when many friends and family offered to help me with the kids (ages 7 and 2 ½ at the time) when my husband passed away in 2005.  It was much needed and appreciated help as I muddled through what to do next.  And I knew that my kiddos needed some extra love and attention.  But I eventually saw that some of the “good-intentions” led to an abundance of sympathy, concern, and a lot of extra attention/coddling.  

     I soon noticed quite a difference in the attitude of my 7 yr old daughter.  It started to become almost like an attitude of “entitlement” or an “excuse” to get away with certain things and behaviors, or to get to DO this, or get to HAVE that, all because she didn’t have her Daddy anymore. She certainly deserved those extra privileges now, right?  I mean, that’s the lesson she was being taught by all of us, so why would she think that she was anything less than extra-super-duper special and was owed this by the world to her because of her situation in life?  UH-OH!! 

     I knew I needed to nip that mentality in the bud!  I had to explain to her little heart & mind the best that I could, that she still DOES have a Daddy, it’s just that he happens to live in Heaven right now and is waiting for us to join him someday.  And NO, it really did not mean she was entitled to have any extra “stuff” or special privileges just because he wasn’t here with us anymore, and she absolutely did NOT have an excuse to get away with unacceptable behavior because of it! 

     “IT” only meant that God CHOSE our family to go through these experiences and adversities to glorify Him (not to pity ourselves.)  And we were NOT going to use our circumstances as an excuse for selfishness, inexcusable behavior, bad attitudes, or as entitlements to special privileges or rights. 

     I couldn’t let her or my son begin to believe for a moment that they were missing ANYTHING that God couldn’t provide for us.  And I certainly would not say, “Oh, you poor little children of mine, what in the world is going to happen to you now?”  That would only offer them a dreadful “crutch” to be used by them for the rest of their lives! 

     Instead, I knew I had to step up to the position that God called me to, and I had to show them how to find contentment, joy, strength, and confidence IN CHRIST, no matter what our circumstances are (see Phil 4:11-13.)  I needed to “train them through adversity” and equip them, not cripple them!  As Chip Ingram states in his book, Effective Parenting in a Defective World, “We need to teach our kids to suffer well.”  And so, we did our best to suffer well, even when it meant uprooting our lives as we knew it, moving the 3 of us to a new city, living in a new house, meeting new friends, going to a new school, finding a new church home, and muddling through every little change that needed to be made in our lives – all because of the “IT” that others would often remind us was so “unfair.” 

     Through it all, we had to choose every day to become BETTER, and not bitter because of these “unfair” circumstances that were completely out of our control.  Why? Because that’s what Christ tells us to do in His Word: “Be thankful IN all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” (1Thes 5:18) 

     Please note that the verse says, “Be thankful IN all things,” but it does not say FOR all things, and believe me, that really makes a big difference!  So, did I always succeed at doing this?  No.  Did I keep trying, learning, stumbling, praying and CLINGING to the Lord?  YES!  Am I still doing this even though my circumstances have now changed in life?  You bet! And I haven’t given up on this race.  Neither can you…little souls are depending on you!

     I hope this sheds a new light on the benefits of training through adversity (even for our children), as we all struggle through our “unfair” challenging races.  We can’t forget this is all just temporary, it’s TRAINING for what’s to come. He’s equipping us for eternity in Heaven!  The race is already ON!  Adversities await us.  What are you training your children to be…crippled or equipped for Eternity?

CHALLENGE & PRAYER: Ingram’s book also mentions a great concept and a challenge that I’m going to pray for each of us now:  Lord, we have learned that our goal should not be to make our kids happy; the goal of our parenting needs to be Christlikeness.  Lord, equip us!  Empower us with your Holy Spirit so that we can become Christ-like examples to our children and to raise them to look and act a lot like YOU!  Teach us to do what your Word instructs us in Heb 12:1, to “run with endurance the race You have set before us.” Thank you, Jesus that You died on the cross for us, so that we can spend Eternity with You when we invite You into our hearts! We love You, Lord! AMEN.”