PMS

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There are a few days out of every month when my flesh just starts screaming at me.  Maybe some of you can identify with me.  Most days I go along serving my family and loving them but then there are those few days where all of the sudden… “No, I do not want to get up and get you a glass of water!”  “No one appreciates me.”  “Why don’t you get me a glass of water?”  It’s like this crazy women has taken over my body.  All of the sudden I am the most selfish person in my house. 

Several years ago this really started to bother me.  I know that we all just say, “It’s PMS” and we go about our selfishness as if it is just acceptable because some hormones are doing something in us.  We expect everyone to adjust according to our hormones.  And I honestly had just had enough of that.  It is just ridiculous for me to expect everyone to walk on eggshells and serve me as the evil queen for a few days a month.  (Not that the serving thing would be all that bad but the motivation of fear behind it is wrong.) 

So I started to really pray about this, seeking wisdom from God to help me understand.  There were two things God showed me: That evil queen can only come out to play a few days a month because she is in my heart and the other was that it is His way of keeping me humble.  It is very humbling to be reminded each month that I am not all that great and I need the Lord to give me strength, love, mercy, and kindness. 

There were some other things I started to notice as well.  As I grew more in the Lord, the less intense my mood swings seemed to be, the more self-control I had, and I became aware sooner that PMS was here.  I am, although, still reminded each month of my real ugly, selfish self.  But I know now that for those few days I need some extra one on one time with my Heavenly Father. 

“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.”  Romans 8:6

 

“And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.”  Romans 8:11

 

My point in sharing all this is to encourage and challenge.  As I studied last week what it meant to walk in the Spirit I was so encouraged.  My flesh is weak, it is crabby, it is tired, and selfish.  But I have the Spirit of a mighty God living in me, a Spirit that does not tire, or become weary, a Spirit that has more strength and love than I will ever need.  An ultimate power source right there inside my heart I simply have to make the choice to tap into that no matter the circumstances surrounding me. 

“Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Isaiah 40:28-31

 

I want to love and to serve my kids the same everyday of the month.  I realize some days I will fall short because I am human.  I get sick, I get hurt, and my heart gets sad and broken.  But I don’t really want to regularly have a few days a month where I am just unapproachable, unloving, and selfish.  I don’t believe that is what God wants either.  I believe just like all other sin in my life He wants me to repent, and seek Him so that my heart can be made new.