Ooooo...That's Ugly

“Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘Look I’m going to rain down food from heaven for you. Each day the people can go out and pick up as much food as they need for that day. I will test them in this to see whether or not they will follow my instructions’…So the people of Israel did as they were told. Some gathered a lot, some only a little. But when they measured it out, everyone had just enough. Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over, and those who gathered a little had enough. Each family had just what it needed.” Exodus 16:4; 17-18 (NLT)

My husband and I have been blessed to experience times of plenty, but we have also made some financial mistakes. We know the economy is bad, and that has contributed to some of our stress, but we also know that we are in a season of pruning…God is doing a work in us. We have changed up many things about how we live and spend money in order to be good stewards of all he has blessed us with. We have budgeted, made a plan, and implemented strategies of both Crown Financial and Financial Peace Ministries.

In spite of all that, no matter how much we save, is seems like it is eaten up by locusts. Seriously! There are usually just enough urgent, financial surprises that bring our balance back down to…well, let’s just say extremely dependent upon the Lord. My husband and I realize that God is doing something in our lives, and that he wants to teach us and draw us closer to Him. We have coined it our “Daily Bread Season”—we have enough to tithe, pay our bills, and satisfy just a few of our wants. Let me assure you, we are definitely learning about contentment.

So…just the other day, we were at Chuck E Cheese to celebrate a friend’s birthday with our oldest Doodlebug. He had pizza, his own Chuck E Cheese cup, and tokens. When the tokens ran out, he wanted more. However, I explained to him that he and the other kids had all run out of tokens at about the same time and that Mommy and Daddy were on a budget, so he should play in the little play gym or something. He started crying. He just didn’t understand why he couldn’t play just a few more games. After all, one of his really close friends was still playing. Well, after enduring his tears for a while, I looked in my wallet and found that I had a dollar on me, and he was able to purchase four more tokens. He got his way…this time.

BUT just a little while later, he came crying to me again—his friend’s mom had just bought her son some cotton candy. They offered to share with my little guy, but he wanted his own. “What! You have got to be kidding me!” I thought to myself. I spoke to him about being grateful and being content with what we have, but he was just content to complain that day. (As a side note, I must admit that he must have been really tired, because he does not usually act so spoiled.) He cried a little more, and then figured he was better off partaking in the cotton candy that was offered by his friend’s mom rather than whining and crying to me.

Later that day, my husband and I spoke with our Doodlebug about being grateful and the fact that some kids never get to go to Chuck E Cheese, and he should be thankful for all that we do for him to make sure has fun experiences with his buds and as a family. Before I went to bed, I was reflecting on the day on what had occurred at Chuck E Cheese. I still couldn’t believe how ungrateful my son had acted, and then it hit me…God spoke to my heart and said, “Beloved, that is exactly what you do to me.” Ouch!!! You mean my attitude is that ugly sometimes too?! Unfortunately, yes.

Although my husband and I know God has us in a “Daily Bread” season for a reason, we (or at least I) sometimes complain inwardly or outwardly that I want more than that…I want a nice financial cushion for a rainy day…after all, that is what all the Christian books say I should have if I was being a good steward. Right?!

Well, I think biblical financial management is great. I would love to be like Joseph when he became the proprietor of Egypt and saved 20 percent of all the food in storehouses during the years of famine so that he and all of Egypt would be spared during the famine. Yet, after wrestling with God on this one, he has firmly spoken to our heart that that is not my season right now. After all, wasn’t Joseph in jail for sticking to his convictions just a few chapters before he was blessed with abundance?!

Bottom line, God was revealing some of the ugliness and ungratefulness of my own heart. I needed to learn to be content with exactly what he has given me. How about you? Is there anything in your life for which you need to be more grateful? Is your attitude looking kind of ugly? Let’s pray together.

Heavenly Father,

Thank you that you know our needs (and our wants) even before we ask you. You have been so faithful in times past, you are faithful even now, and you will be faithful again. Help us lay aside our own thoughts and feelings in order to embrace complete trust, hope, and joy in you. Help us have clean hands, pure hearts, and right attitudes before you no matter what season you are allowing us to go through right now. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

“Dear brothers and sister, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” James1:2-4 (NLT)