VISION OF LOVE

VISION OF LOVE

A dedication to my friends and family

My son woke up from nap time with a fever. Being that we have 3 kids it was just another day in the Pierce household. You know, we were planning a date that evening, had a sitter, everyone was fine all day and at 4:30 pm the inevitable happened. After contemplating what this mysterious bug was going to turn into we called off the sitter and prepared for a restful night with the family instead. Little did I know all this would soon change!

Proverbs 16:9    In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

My husband went on a Publix run at about 9:30 pm. everyone had gone to bed and the fever had long been broken by the Motrin given at 6pm. I was resting on the couch going through the mass of e-mails awaiting my response when I heard a strange noise. The house was quiet but the noise wasn’t distinct enough to make out and I semi-ignored it looking around as if to point out where and what I had heard by process of elimination. There it was again. My kids talk in their sleep, surely it was some dream that brought them to far off places in the imagination of a child. No, there it is again! It was at this point that I arose from my comfortable place on the couch and said to myself I better check on D.J., though I was sure he was fine. I went upstairs slowly and found his back to me in his bed. He was making a horrible grunting sound and that’s when it hit me that things were severely wrong.

Isaiah 41:10   So do not fear, for I am with you; 
                                     do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
                           I will strengthen you and help you;
                                     I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

My son was flaccid, burning hot, unresponsive, and had grunting respirations! I ran him downstairs not really believing what was happening. I tried to arouse him but there was no movement. I laid my son on the couch on his back. His respirations sounded worse. His eyes were rolling side to side and back, his body was postured in toward his core, and again came the grunting sound as he attempted to breath.  My heart raced as all the years of training as a paramedic and RN raced through my head. I performed a sternal rub-no response, is he incontinent-no so I crossed off a seizure, is it epiglotitis-God please no!! I called my husband; my hands shook as I attempted to dial the phone. I frantically demanded he leave the groceries and come home. I began to search around for the thermometer, unable to find it I ran to the freezer and placed ice packs under his neck and in his armpits-no response. I was terrified as his lifeless body lay there. I begged him to “talk to mommy, baby” I screamed DJ what felt like a billion times with no sweet sound exiting his lips. As I begged God to spare my son and help me to help him his breathing took a long pause. I felt like I was looking down at a scene played out in my head over and over when I was a medic only this time it was happening to me. I couldn’t wait anymore and I called 911. While I was on the phone I begged the dispatcher to please get them here faster! All I could say is DJ talk to mommy and Oh God please don’t take my baby!!!

Psalm 116:1  I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.

As my husband arrived just before the comforting sound of the sirens he grabbed my son’s lifeless body and ran him out to the rescue truck. All I could do is stand in the middle of my living room as if I was frozen. My mind attempted to make sense of all that had just happened but I couldn’t fathom it. I noticed my 11 year old standing to the right crying and shaking but I couldn’t hear sound. I snapped out of this state in time to ask my neighbors who had come to see what had happened to stay with my kids and rush out the door to follow the rescue vehicle. My street had become a spectacle of fire trucks, rescue vehicles and police cars all lit up as if a carnival were outside my door. I jumped in my car and attempted to follow the rescue truck that was going full speed with lights and sirens. As I drove my heart raced, my hands shook, and my mouth spoke. It’s amazing what comes out of your heart to God when your entire body is encompassed with fear! “God, please God, don’t take my boy! Please God!! Please” is all I can remember. The mother in me searched for some way to help and my mind went straight to Kate! I know I can trust Kate to spread the word and start a prayer chain. That was my only hope. I can’t imagine what she thought on the other end and I still have no idea what I said to her but my heart cried out for prayer. When I arrived at the hospital it had been almost an hour since I had first heard the haunting grunting sound. My son was in my husband’s lap in a bed. His eyes met mine and though he wasn’t responsive enough to talk yet I felt my adrenaline pour down and thanked God for His undying mercy on my family!!

God’s grace showed up next even more then I could have imagined. My son began to talk and said “Mommy I’m scawed” “What are you scared of baby” I responded. “There’s a mommy ghost right over there and I’m scawed!” As he pointed to the corner of our emergency room my mind again raced. God are you here? I thought! My husband began to pray and as we finished more miracles! Kate’s husband entered the room with Bible in hand. Surprised, we thanked him for coming so fast! Mind you it was now 10:30pm! I felt cherished and unworthy of such attention! But then my mom too walked in and I was told by the nurse that Fran and Franci were waiting outside. I felt bad for causing a stir but what an amazing feeling of love that overcame me! These people all have families! It’s late, they drove all the way here just for us?! I felt an amazing love, a Jesus love, as if He Himself were reaching down from heaven to hug me. I talked with my selfless friends and they cried for me and held my trembling hands.  I thanked God for His mercy, for these angels of friends, for showing Himself, for loving me with through His people, for their willingness to respond, for my husband who knew how to calm me, for the rescue workers, for the dispatch lady who kept me on the phone knowing I would go crazy with all my thoughts, for my neighbors, for my family! Amazing Grace!!  I will never forget what happened that night but I will also never forget how God’s loves us through any circumstance! Philippians 1:3  I thank my God every time I think of you!!

^{Ephesians 3:17-18   17} so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸ may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,¹⁹ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge —that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.