Broken Pieces

Hi, my name is Lena. I’m the blessed Mommy of two lil’ monkeys; 

Brayden (almost 5) and Skylar (2 ½).  

I work full time as a Middle School Math, Science and Bible teacher as well as Team Leader of the K-8 teachers of my school. You can say I lead a very busy life of homemaker and full-time working Mom.

                                       

My prayer is that God will use some of my craziness to bring that “Thank You Jesus I’m not the only one” moments into your life. I know that I have always struggled with looking at other Moms and saying, “Wow, she has it all together!” I could never size myself up to her. I always felt like a failure when doing so. Whether you work outside of the home, or as a full-time working Mommy as “homemaker”, my prayer is that God will use me to bring words of encouragement to you.  As you read today’s blog, “Broken Pieces,” I pray that you are reminded as I was that God uses us as broken vessels, to bring life to others.

It was one of those mornings. You know the kind of morning where you plan on waking up 15-20 minutes before the kids so you can squeeze in that quiet time. Well, not today. Today, both of the boys decided they would wake up early. This meant, me trying to ready myself for work while making sure the two of them didn’t have a full on WWF wrestling match on our tile floors downstairs. So, what normally would take me 20 minutes in the morning, took me 45 minutes. Not the way I wanted to start my day. And to top it off, it was MONDAY!

I was somewhat put together and ran downstairs and the two boys had made quite the mess of toys within the amount of time it took me to get ready. However, I was just happy we didn’t have bumps or bruises and that they were playing nicely together. I rushed into the kitchen and made some breakfast, got it onto the table, and they started to eat. This is when I realized, LUNCHES HAVE NOT BEEN MADE. I was very tired the night before and had gotten home late from Bible study and told myself I would make lunches in the morning (hence another reason I woke early).  Now, crunch time was on. I began frantically making lunches, and scurrying around the kitchen and answering Brayden’s 500 questions of the morning, trying not to snap at him( though failing miserably); and this is when it happened. Reaching for a bowl and not moving other items out of the way (rushing) I knocked a glass bowl from the top shelf down. SMASH! Both boys jumped and the house was still. Glass everywhere in the kitchen. In their lunchboxes, in my oatmeal, in the sink, all over the floor, EVERYWHERE. I didn’t have shoes on, and I was standing in the middle of broken pieces of glass, and I started to cry.

The silence was broken by three sweet words uttered by Brayden, “It’s OK Mommy.” I wiped my tears and looked at the doorway and both boys were standing there looking at me. They had the sweetest looks on their faces. Skylar had a little toy broom in hand.  Brayden continued, “Don’t cry Mommy, we all make mistakes. It was an accident. We will help you.” The tears continued streaming down my face, as I thanked them both for their sweetness in wanting to help Mommy, etc. but explained how dangerous it was, etc. I spent the next 35-45 minutes cleaning, and rushing them out of the house.

On the way to school that morning the boys were extra quiet. I was still crying about my crazy morning. I was pondering and thinking about it all. Why was I so upset? Was it being stressed? Rushed? How I acted towards the boys? Breaking the bowl? Then it hit me. God reminded me how broken I am. I am this broken vessel, this bowl if you would. Sometimes we have these little cracks here and there, and then a little moment, or a stressful situation will break us. That is exactly what happened to me that morning. I woke up with my own agenda and intentions. It didn’t work out the way I had planned.  A few little cracks in my morning ended up breaking me. Driving to school thinking and praying this all over in my head, Brayden interrupted and said, “Mommy, are you still sad about breaking the bowl?” I answered, “I am just sad about how I acted today Buddy. Mommy had a rough morning. I’m sorry.” His response was ever so precious, “It’s Ok Mommy. We all make mistakes. We can always get a new bowl. I love you very much. You are my best friend.”

I looked in the rear view mirror to see my angel. It was as if the Lord used my son that day to remind me of that verse, “The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is upon me, for the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.*” Isaiah 61:1 and “The one sitting on the throne said, "Look, I am making everything new!"

And then he said to me, "Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true." Revelation 21:5.

Sitting at a red light just before pulling into school I was reminded of this art project someone had told me about. We were about to throw away all of these broken pieces of crayons and she stopped us and said those crayons are perfect! I have never heard of someone calling broken crayons perfect. However, she went on to explain that she uses these broken pieces of crayons to make new crayons. She puts all of these little broken pieces (and even has to break some of them into smaller pieces) into a cookie sheet and bakes (melts them). Before they cool completely, she allows her children to uses cookie cutters of all kinds to cut new shapes, etc. creating new “crazy” crayons.   

What a wonderful image of what the Lord was showing me. Sometimes we have to be broken to be made new. The new thing is even better and sometimes even more beautiful than its original. Oh how I want to reflect Him in my life! If that means He has to break me into pieces to remove the old me, and put me back together to make me new and to look more like Him each day, I pray that I can welcome that transformation with open arms.

Thank you, Lord, so much for these crazy moments in my life. I thank you Jesus for using my sons as tools and little mirrors to reflect who You are. As much as I buck against being broken, Lord, I know Your desire to make me into something beautiful and new is exciting. Help me Lord; accept the changes that you have for me and the patience to walk through the valleys you give me. Amen.