What’s Your Parenting Style?

Psalm 127:3
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

My husband and I are taking classes to become foster parents. These classes have not only begun a journey to equip us, but have opened our eyes to analyze how we currently parent. Each of my children is so very different I feel my style differs with each personality. There are a few tools I have taken away from these classes that I would love to share with all of you moms as you seek the Lord in raising up the next generation. If you are anything like us you probably struggle daily with how best to parent, what things to change, how to make them listen without breaking their spirit, How to keep them grounded in faith and love…. I pray these tools will bless you as they have blessed us J

Colossians 3:21
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Proactive parenting   Vs. Reactive parenting

Proactive:

·       Builds a safe, trusting relationship by frequently staying close

·       Focuses on appropriate behaviors and positive consequences

·       Looks for what the child “is doing” right and provides positive consequences for that behavior rather than forcing compliance

·       Withholds positive consequences for “not doing” rather than providing negative consequences

·       Sees appropriate behavior as a chance to pay off better then inappropriate behavior

Reactive:

·       Corrodes your relationship

·       Focuses on inappropriate behavior and giving negative consequences

·       Looks for what the child is doing wrong and tries to get rid of that behavior through coercion or punishment

·       Sees inappropriate behavior as a chance to forcefully “teach the child a lesson” so the child fears the consequences and stops doing the behavior

·       Forgets to pay attention to what the child is doing right

·       Waits for the bad behavior and reacts to it rather then having a plan

·       Allows your own bad experiences and resulting bad mood to control your parenting

·       Uses 8 common coercive: questioning, arguing, sarcasm, force, threat, criticism, despair, logic

·       Uses punishment

Titus 2:7

Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity

Challenge: What is my parenting style? Are there ways I can change some of my parenting styles to help build trust and closeness with my child even in times of discipline? What are the common feelings children experience while coping with proactive vs. reactive parenting?