Control Your Mouth

I posted this blog a few months ago...yet its words came creaping into my mind earlier this week. I knew God was gently reminidng me that I needed to hear this...and share it...again..

A little while ago I witnessed quite a scene. I was picking up my oldest Doodlebug from Vacation Bible School, and I was waiting for his class to come back from the Creation Museum. As I was waiting, I received an important phone call that required my full attention. Just about the same time, a mom walked out with her preschool age son who was throwing a full-fledged fit. I mean he was letting his mom have it. She remained calm, while trying to lovingly, yet firmly correct him; but he wanted no part of it—he was intent on having his way.

To be honest, I don’t know why this little boy was having such a tantrum in the hallway at church—completely oblivious to the world around him. His mom saw that I was on the phone, yet she looked at me with pleading eyes. Completely exasperated, she looked at me and said, “See, this is what I have been talking about at Mom-to-Mom.”

To be honest, I didn't know what she was talking about. I attend Mom-to-Mom, but we are not assigned to the same table for discussions. BUT, my heart felt for her. I am sure she expected me to give her some type of advice—advice that she had probably already heard before. However, I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to simply encourage her. S

he was obviously embarrassed by her son’s behavior, and she was managing the situation as best as she could at that moment. But, she still felt bad that her son was causing such a raucous in the hallway…and while I was on the phone.

In light of all that, I simply looked at her and whispered, “It’s OK. You are a good mom and YOU ARE doing a great job!” You can tell she didn’t expect me to say just that. She looked at me with a look that almost melted my heart, a look that I myself have given at times when mommyhood just left me scratching my head—when I had given my best Mom effort, but still felt lacking. She replied sincerely, “Thank you! THAT (emphasis added) is exactly what I needed to hear.” She smiled lovingly, and she and her son walked away.

Ladies, before kids I would have been the first one to pass judgment on a situation like that. I was loaded with ammo about what I would say if I were that mom, and how would get that kid back in line. (It is my experience that we say a lot of things before we have kids..and we end up reanalyzing later.)

Yet, two kids later with one on the way, I have still been tempted at times to give advice before filtering it through the Holy Spirit. Before I speak to another mom about her kids, I need to ask myself if this is the right time and place; am I communicating my heart in love?

Often times we need to use the double gate God has given us to keep our tongues in check—lips and teeth. Sometimes, I need to just clench my teeth, say a prayer, and walk away. At other times, I should speak up and speak the truth in love. Ladies, let’s encourage one another, and let us offer advice—or withhold it—in a loving and timely fashion.

Prayer:

Lord, you know as women we have so much to say. You have made us wonderfully complex and full of so much emotion. Help us to channel our words, actions, and even our thoughts through you first. Help us to accurately reflect your truth and your grace. Help us encourage each other on to good works as we raise our children to love you.

In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Passage to consider: Job 16:1-5 (NLT)

Job’s response to his friends after they offered their unsolicited advice:

1 Then Job spoke again: 2 "I have heard all this before. What miserable comforters you are! 3 Won't you ever stop your flow of foolish words? What have I said that makes you speak so endlessly? 4 I could say the same things if you were in my place. I could spout off my criticisms against you and shake my head at you. 5 But that's not what I would do. I would speak in a way that helps you. I would try to take away your grief."