Forgiveness - Part 1

I want to take today and explain to you something beautiful that I experienced last week.  I have been specifically praying for God to show me my heart and if there is anything offensive in it.  My friend, He did just as I asked and it was not pretty.  God showed me that I was hanging onto some resentment in my heart and it was creating something very ugly in me.  This was not something that I was nurturing and intentionally growing.  I honestly did not realize it was there. 

But after a conversation where I was completely offended and hurt, God showed me that it was deeper.  There was a part of me in the offense and hurt that could tell I was being irrational, that there was something more.  When I went to a friend for council she confirmed that although I was justified in my anger and hurt, my heart really needed to be examined because of the bitterness behind my hurt and anger.  After a lot of prayer, tears, and scripture God brought me to the point of complete and utter brokenness.  I saw that I needed Him; I needed His strength to forgive this person so that my own heart could be untangled from this bitterness and resentment. 

 “Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.”   Matthew 5:3-4

Really seeing our heart through Gods eyes can be intense and very painful but it can also lead to freedom and beauty.  It opened my eyes to a lot of things.  But one big one was the reason for what seemed like a big long continuous PMS.   I had been short with my kids a lot recently and I didn’t understand why.  This explained it.  I was me focused, maybe not intentionally but it was the product of a heart that has unforgiveness in it. 

I pray for you friend.  How is your heart?  I can tell you from resent experience that the ugliness of unforgiveness is heavy.  But our God is big.  He is very big.  Bigger than any bitterness or resentment that may have taken root in your heart.  And He is calling you unto Him.  He wants to be closer to you.  He wants you to see, feel, and know the extent of His love and His ability to heal the wounds that are left behind. 

This Sunday  Part 2:  The freedom in my heart was a beautiful thing.  But, I want to share something more with you.  In that time of examining my heart the Lord gave me a picture of what was happening in me.  It was a picture He would use the very next day to help my children see the very thing that I saw in a way they could understand.