Priorities Part 3 Continued - The first generation

"There is a special relationship between the first and third generations." – Gary and Ann Marie Ezzo and Dr. Bucknam, Co-Authors of the Babywise books. I love this quote and remember it often, though I read it almost two years ago. I saw it come to life this week when our family arrived at a restaurant in Miami to celebrate my cousin's birthday. While my husband was dutifully parking our car, neither my son nor my mother could contain their excitement over seeing each other again. Upon seeing his Abuela, my son started yelling, "Abue, Abue!" Let me clarify - Abuela is Spanish for grandmother and my son is almost 16 months old. He started with "Aba" and has progressed to "Abue". He says it with such love - it sounds beautiful! At the same time, my mother is standing on the curb, next to the car, insisting to my husband that the car is just fine - because she cannot wait to get her hands on her grandson again. They had just spent the previous day together, but already they had missed each other so much. What a special love, indeed!

In August, I began a monthly series on priorities because as moms, we have so much to balance that it’s important for us to be intentional about how we spend our time.  I have found it helpful to remind myself what those priorities are and check in once in a while to see if my “to do” list reflects those priorities.  In my previous blogs, I asked you to examine how you were doing giving priority time to our Lord and serving your husband and your children.  I hope today’s blog will encourage us to better honor the first generation – our parents. 

 Ephesians 6:1-3 New King James Version (NKJV)

 6 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ² “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: ³ “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”^[a]

 To paraphrase the NIV commentary on this verse, the direction to obey is intended for children; however, the command to honor is for life. We are the model for our children. They will learn how to honor us by watching how we honor our parents, BOTH sets of parents, the mothers who gave birth to us as well as the mothers who gave birth to our beloved husbands, and, of course, our fathers, too. It is our responsibility to cultivate and nurture a loving, respectful and Godly relationship between our children and our parents.

 I think there are a couple things that stand in our way of creating and enhancing close relationships with our parents and encouraging the same for our children. First, differences of opinion in raising children can be an obstacle. Second, the busyness of our days can distract us from spending quality time with our parents if they live locally and distance can make it an impossibility if they live far from us.  We are intentional in putting God first and serving our husbands and children.  Let’s make sure we are intentional about honoring our parents, too! 

 Here are a few practical reminders of ways that we can honor our parents and encourage our children to do the same.

1)      Listen to them. Esteem them. Though we may disagree, they've been at this longer than us!

Extra Credit – Give them an opportunity to tell their story.  Interview them and record their interview on video to share with your children when they ask about their grandparents.  Ask them about their childhood, their testimony, how they met their spouse, their wedding, favorite vacations, memories, God’s faithfulness in their life, the legacy they hope to leave, etc.  If your parents have passed, consider asking someone to interview you on their behalf. 

2)      Praise them, especially in front of your children! My mom does a wonderful job teaching our son how to do things. She taught him how to open and close doors, turn lights on and off, climb steps - all before he could walk! When I notice him doing something I know we didn't teach him, I smile and realize who did. When I remember, I tell Abuela that I noticed she taught Hunter to climb, what a great teacher she is, how the Lord has blessed her with a gift for children, that I will always be grateful for the childhood memories she gave me, etc. Watch your mom just beam after hearing these words! Dad, too! Thank your MIL for raising such an amazing husband. If you have a son, tell your MIL how you'd like your son to display a specific gift or character trait that your husband has - his faith, perseverance, determination, helpfulness, sense of humor, etc. and ask how she cultivated that gift in him as a child.

Extra Credit – Make a list of 10 things you love about your mom, dad, MIL and/or FIL or 10 things you’ve learned from them.   As a Thanksgiving welcome, give them a list of 10 reasons you’re thankful for them.  If your children are old enough, have them do the same. 

3)      Include them.  Have you had the equivalent of a date night with your mom recently?  If she lives far, what about a phone date?  Send her a Starbucks gift card ahead of time and then buy one for yourself so you can “have coffee together.” Encourage your husband to enjoy a father/son day or take his mom out for breakfast or lunch.  Do you have a family dinner night with the grandparents who live locally?  A weekly play date?

Extra Credit – Share what God is teaching you in His word or through Bible studies with your moms. 

4)       Write to them.  Send a thank you card this month and let them know how thankful you are for them.  Encourage your children to do the same.

Extra Credit – Children’s art projects make beautiful thank you cards!  Send them a recent art project with a little thank you note written on the back.

5)      Let them go first.  At dinnertime, each of us go around the table and share the “high” of our day, as well as the “low” of our day.  When Abuela is with us, she always goes first. 

Extra Credit – Invite your parents for dinner on the 1st of each month, or the 1st Saturday or Sunday of each month.  If they live out of town, call them.  Let them know they are among the first you choose to spend your time with. 

Okay, ladies, here’s our challenge.  Pick at least one parent and one item from above and honor them today!  Extra Credit – Comment on this blog with an additional way that we can honor our parents. 

 Let’s pray.  Heavenly Father, thank you for our parents  - for their love, their provision, wisdom and guidance.  Bless our relationships with them.  Help us to forgive when we need to, listen to them, praise them, include them, spend quality time with them and honor them always.  May our children follow our example and draw near to their grandparents.  Bless our families and our homes with our love, joy and peace this holiday season and always.  In Jesus’ precious name, we pray.  Amen.