A subtle reminder

“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Gen.2:18

Have you ever felt stuck? Stuck in the simplest little things pertaining to daily routine? It’s an effort to get the kids ready in the morning to get out; hard to figure out what to make for dinner and your morning time with God is sort of dry. That was me a while back. At first I didn’t understand. Things were going so well with home schooling and settling in to our new environment. We even had a bible study where I’ve met some girls and formed some relationships. Still, something was off.

You see, after salvation and marriage, the birth of my two boys has been the single most life-changing event in my life. Wonderful but harder than anything I’d imagined and definitely all consuming. My husband and I have had a few long years of just survival mode due to that life change and the overwhelming strain of owning a restaurant along with his full time career during that season. So we had gotten pretty use to just passing each other in the house, busy about our own day, focusing on our respective workloads and then collapsing at night enjoying our own separate ways to relax. Between his work, the kids and the house, we were consumed and when the pressures mounted we’d get impatient with one another and frustrated with our situation.

When God stepped in and moved us out of South Florida, my husbands’ work changed, kids grew up a little and the burden lifted gradually. Finally I began to have time for myself. “I will start painting, take up photography and maybe I can lead a bible study,” I thought. For a while all that was great and then, like I mentioned, I got stuck. God was after something. So I began to seek Him for clarity.

He began to show me that now that my boys are a bit older, my focus needs to shift back to my number one ministry; my husband. It was a subtle request, almost a whisper, repeated in my mind many times over every time frustration in our house mounted. (Because bad habits die hard, we were still short with each other at times).

It can be so hard to refocus from our children to our husband when you feel like there is now finally some time left for me. Those things I desired were all great things but I needed wisdom as to the timing. What is Gods will I began to ask myself. Is it my time now to do those things? Can I start it and drop it if need be. The answer was a clear, no. To be able to do my art I would need a good, uninterrupted chunk of time and space to create. Headspace, which with home schooling is still hard to have, as well as a room I can just close up when it’s time to fix dinner without looking at the mess. I realized it’s not my time yet. I would just get frustrated starting in that direction and not producing quality results.

The bible teaches us that we are “heirs together of the grace of life.” (1Pet.3:7) I began to see that I wanted to consume the blessing of free time upon myself. But God desires to bless us together as husband and wife, because He created us to be one.

Once I made peace with this fact that it’s not my time yet, I began to wonder how much suffering was going to be involved in considering my husband first. I kept waiting and waiting for it to appear. I was predicting a strain on my will and flesh, the strife inside of me of having to choose between my desire to create and my husband and children somehow. To my amazement, it never appeared! I started noticing a greater peace and joy in serving him, a flow of inspiration to try new recipies for him and enjoying spending more time together. See, I had thought that I had to muster that up, that it was going to be an act of obedience and a constant fight in my thought life to lay down my own dreams of having the time to create art again. I never believed that God was going to empower me to do His very will! I didn’t realize that the act of obedience God needed to see had already occurred the minute I made peace with the fact that it wasn’t my time yet. As soon as I did that, God took over and power flowed.

I’m still so surprised. My husband and I have now been married for almost 9 years and I’ve never had more fun with him than in the last month. He has also done some amazing acts of love toward me that have just melted my heart. Like helping with cooking and cleaning the entire house after a full day at work and spending more and more quality time with the boys. Then recently he announced that while drawing up some plans for the house we are about to build, he decided to add an entirely separate building for an art studio for me. I just lost it then and cried over Gods goodness toward me thru this man. What can one say to Gods passionate love for us? How can anyone not be changed by the way He loves us?

I expected suffering but experienced ease, perhaps by a small decision to surrender to Gods timing. This is the amazing and many times undiscovered country of God, because we don’t see the blessings until we submit to that voice of God that instructs us in taking a different path. Each time I heed His voice, I discover more and I am blessed.
If you are in this new season of more time and a lighter burden, God may just want you to enjoy it to recuperate. Or He will show you the opportunity to fortify your marriage and strengthen what may have become weaker with the strain of having little ones. It’s much sweeter to enjoy a blessing together with the one you love than having it all to yourself.