Becoming

So I bow in prayer before the Father from whom every family in heaven and on earth gets its true name. I ask the Father in his great glory to give you the power to be strong inwardly through his Spirit. I pray that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life will be strong in love and be built on love. And I pray that you and all God's holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ's love—how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is. Christ's love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with the fullness of God.

With God's power working in us, God can do much, much more than anything we can ask or imagine. To him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus for all time, forever and ever. Amen.

Ephesians 3:14-21

I have been praying this scripture for my kids the last couple weeks. I have been memorizing and meditating on it. God is definitely drawing my attention to these verses; they have been popping up in books I read and sermons I hear. When I started praying these verses for my kids it was because I want them to be made strong inwardly through His Spirit, I want Christ to be at home in their hearts, I want all these things this scripture talks about for them. But as it usually happens with these things God has had some things to show me as well.

Am I living this prayer? Am I always growing spiritually? Does Christ feel right at home in my heart? Have I let Him into every little nook and cranny? Do I believe that God can do much, much more than anything I can ask or imagine?

I want to live not simply exist.

Before I had children, there were many different ways that I served Christ and with each child those things went away. There was a time when I felt like I was loosing a bit of myself as those things went away. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted lots of babies and loved caring for them. When I was younger I never thought I would be a housewife, I always planned on working. But when I got married, that changed. I loved serving my husband and couldn’t wait to be a mom. But somehow I still had this picture of “super me” caring for my husband, all these other little people and still doing everything I did before.

In my feelings of loss the question asked myself was, in all those things was I serving Christ or serving me? The answer then was that I was serving Christ and in this new season of life I was serving Christ by caring for my husband and little ones. Another question was, what is my purpose? I found my answer in Romans 8:29, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.” My purpose is to become like Christ. I will be honest, when I was seeking the answer I was looking for what committee to serve on, how many hungry kids do I feed, I was looking to do, do, do. I somehow attached my purpose to something I did instead of who I was.

Being a mom can sometimes feel like you left behind a life of serving and purpose for a life of mundane ordinary tasks. But I want to challenge that idea or feeling and look at it from a different perspective. As a mom and a wife God has given us the perfect environment to live, to grow and become more like Him. We have been given every opportunity to learn to forgive, love, to be patient, kind, gentle, to show mercy and grace. All of these things right there in one home. What a blessing.

When I said that I want to live not simply exist, I meant that I want to follow God and serve Him with all that I am. That is living. To simply exist is to go through life with no purpose…to live day by day serving me. Sometimes the mundane things in the life of being a mom, like dishes, laundry, dirty bathrooms, and making food can feel like simply existing but character is forged in the mundane. God is using those mundane tasks to build our character and make us more like Him: which is our purpose.

“Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men.” Ephesians 6:7

Being transparent here, I will tell you that I still long and dream of what God’s big picture may look like. There are so many organizations and causes that my heart leaps at to get involved in. But I am content with where I am trusting in God. Right now God is telling me to stay put, serve Him by serving my family and growing everyday into the women He created me to be by becoming more like His son. But my heart still reaches for the promise that, “With God's power working in us, God can do much, much more than anything we can ask or imagine.” I long to see what that is, knowing that I first have to trust God at point A before he moves me on to point B and farther.

I also want to note that this is where God has put ME. I pray about what to do, where to serve; and I serve by home schooling four children, bible classes to work on both my head and my heart, and this blog. This is where God has put me for this season of my life. Each time I get all excited about a ministry that tugs on my heart when I take it to God, the answer I get is ‘not right now.’

I encourage you to make time for a one on one with God and ask Him where He wants you right now. The answer will be different for each one of us. Mothers that work outside the home may be serving by bringing Christ into their work environment. I thank God for all the women who He calls to serve in children’s ministries at church, to help with foster care, to counsel teenage girls, to lead women’s ministries and much, much more. These are all things that I hope to do more of one day. I love and appreciate the women who are doing these things right now.

What does living look like for you? Where is God calling you to? What may He be asking you to give up for a season? Remember Romans 8:29 that your purpose is to become like Christ. That is something that will not change and is true in every season of life for every person. So if you feel a little lost and unsure, focus on what you can be sure of and that is becoming more like Christ.