Lessons Learned the Hard Way

I was blessed to be part of a mom's Bible study recently where the teacher encouraged us to be constantly evaluating where we are at as moms. This really spoke to me and made me think of the times I realized I was making a poor choice as a mom and had to undo my mistakes, or I realized that there were things I should be doing that I wasn't. At times I was very hard on myself, but these words encouraged me that it is a process. We need to constantly evaluate our routines, discipline plan, time management, how we are instructing our children in spiritual matters, what behaviors we are encouraging and discouraging, and the list goes on.

I have learned some things the hard way by making mistakes and having to fix them. And I have also made some good choices that I am grateful to the Lord and other godly moms for guiding and inspiring me to make. We all make choices based on what is best for our family, and they will not necessarily work for another family and may even seem strange to them (thanks Kate for that wise statement!). But we can all learn from each others mistakes and benefit from the Lord's revelations to other mommies. That's one thing we hope to do on this blog.



So this week I thought we could share some things we would do differently, and next week we can share what works for us and may be of help to others. Here are some lessons I learned the hard way.

First, I would not introduce a bottle while in the hospital as I did with Selah at the nurse's advice. She assured me there was "no such thing as nipple confusion". After days of frustration, tears, and Selah not latching on properly, if at all, I called my pediatrician. The first words out of her mouth- nipple confusion. She told me to get an infant medicine dropper, fill it with pumped milk, and drip some in the corner of her mouth while getting her to latch. That worked well for us, but I will never forget that awful experience. On the other hand, I would also introduce the bottle a bit sooner than six weeks as Susie refused the bottle b/c I waited too long. I believe there is a happy medium somewhere in there. Hoping to find it when the Lord blesses us with Baby #3!

Another habit that was hard to break was having to lay down with Selah to get her to fall asleep. At first, it was so sweet to fall asleep next to her at nap time. She would even put her little hand on may face to feel my breath, just making sure I was still there. It was so precious and sweet, but when we tried to put her down by herself.... let's just say she was not happy, and she let us hear about it! Those long nights of having to let her cry it out were so tough and seemed like they would never end.

I also realize that I would have liked to have introduced Scripture a little sooner. Selah is 2, and she knows worship songs from her Praise Baby DVDs (LOVE these!) and prays aloud with us, but I wish that I would have spoken more Scripture to her so that she would hear it as it was applicable to certain situations.

For example, when disciplining I would really like to state the appropriate verse so that Selah and Susie hear the Word of God applied to what is expected of them. When Selah does something to hurt Susie or vice versa, ideally I would like to correct her and tell her that she was not being very loving and God wants us to love our neighbors as ourselves. She does not fully understand this, but if this verse is spoken each time, she will come to know it and be able to repeat it, knowing what is expected of her and thus living out the Word of God. It will come alive to her and not be just words.

The same goes for positive reinforcement. When she shares a toy, for example, I would like to respond by saying what a great job she did sharing with a happy heart and that God loves a cheerful giver. I am praying for the Lord to give me verses for each situation and starting this now.

My kids are younger, 2 and 10 months, so I still have a long way to go and lots of wisdom to obtain, but I am praying daily and listening intently as other moms and dads share their tales from the trenches. One major goal I hope to accomplish is to maintain a good relationship with my girls throughout those anxiety inducing teen years. I believe it is possible!



These are just some things I have picked up along the way. They may or may not apply to everyone, and that is okay. I am hoping that you will share your mommy tips for young and old in the comments section for other mommies to read and glean wisdom from. If you are not set up to comment using your e-mail, you can post as anonymous. You can always add your name within the comment, if you wish. In this way, I pray our bumps in the road can be lessons learned for ourselves and difficulties averted for others. Next week we can share the good choices we have made or routines, traditions, etc.



Challenge- Pray about sharing something you have learned from personal experience with the moms on this blog. Evaluate your routines, discipline, instruction, and leadership as mommy. Pray for the Lord to give you fresh insight and wisdom in these areas.


Prayer- Father, I thank you for constant presence in my life and the gift of my children. Please give me wisdom to build and establish our home. Please reveal to me any areas that need reevaluating and show me how I can better honor you in these areas. Please give me foresight to see how the behaviors I am encouraging today will shape my children's character as they grow. Help me to learn from my mistakes and teach my children to do the same. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.