Friends...Speak the Truth

Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. - Ephesians 4:15



I have come to realize that I am a people pleaser. Not that I want to please people more than God but really that I want everyone to be happy in all circumstances. If they are not happy, then I try to fix the problem only to cause another problem. So frequently when a friend says they are unable to make a function or get together, I will try to change the date, time, place ect. in hopes of making them happy. The unfortunate thing in trying to do this is I am not thinking of the 10 other people who have already committed and already planned to go along with our original plans. Last time we were together, I shared about how fickle I am and need to work on being a woman my family and friends have full confidence in (Proverbs 31:11). As you read on, you will realize that HE is still working on this in my life :)


One day a few weeks ago,  I was blindsided as we were leaving the park when a friend approached me about this problem. The kids & I were on our way to the car as I, again, was trying to make everyone happy and began to change plans to help out with the busyness of another's schedule. I had a sweet friend pull me aside and share she has noticed that I really struggle with this. She said I need to not change plans as often as I do but stick to our original schedule to honor those who have already committed. She was so right. I knew I struggled with this, but I so appreciate that she loved me enough to speak the truth in love. 

I was blindsided by this talk. I am glad I was blindsided. It was helpful, truthful, and spurred me on to life change. I am now making an effort not to do this. I so appreciate that my friend felt comfortable enough to share with me about my "people pleasing" issue. I am so grateful to those friends in life that will say the "hard" things, I really need to hear, about the spiritual condition of my heart. It can be a challenge to do this as well as receive it. 

Each time I see that friend, I am reminded of the Truth she spoke into my life and it holds me accountable to keeping my word. I am so thankful that my friend laced this truthful conversation with grace and love. That was key to the way my heart received the message. Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down....in the most delightful way....as Julie Andrews would say on the movie "Mary Poppins."


I have  really tried to make an effort to be a woman of my word, not change plans, and realize that all our friends will not make it to each event we plan and that's OK :)

Recently our couples small group talked about the importance of friendship in our life. In our homework for the week, we were given a ton of scripture on friendship and questions asking about its' purpose is in our life. We came back together and shared what the Lord taught us as we meditated on them. It really got me thinking about friendship and the importance of having Godly girlfriends with the same goal... to bring glory to the Lord through their life.

"As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." -Proverbs 27:17

Our pastor recently shared that as we live out this verse that sparks will fly. It's true. If we are truly hoping to sharpen each other then there will be those occasional hard conversations we have to have. Those phone calls we need to make. Sparks will fly.


Do you have those friends in your life who will say the things that will challenge your faith walk and make you look more like Jesus?


Sometimes we will be "blindsided" by an exchange we didn't see coming. It is hard to accept constructive criticism. But if our heart's desire is to grow then we will experience those uncomfortable conversations with close friends as each of us is being sharpened. There have been PLENTY of times my husband and I have had those heart to heart conversations and I've asked the question..."How can I be a better wife?"


A few months ago I really started to evaluate the investment I was making into my close friendships. I started randomly asking my friends a few simple, yet life changing, questions about our relationship: How can I be a better friend? What areas do you see in my life where I struggle as a friend? Then I put my seat belt on, buckled down, and allow the Lord to use our friendship to mold me more into the woman of God that the Lord wants me to be. Sometimes I get blindsided but it's all worth it for the goal to look more like Jesus through this process.


Questions to Ponder:


Do you have friends in your life who are challenging your walk with Christ?
If not, PRAY, and the Lord will provide.


Are you a friend that is "sharpening" (Proverbs 27:17) those around you?


When you have a confrontation in your life do you speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) ?


Ask a close friend the tough question of how you can better serve them as a friend.


Get ready to grow and be stretched! It is an exciting journey to walk with Jesus....I wouldn't have it any other way.

***STAY TUNED...next Saturday we will start Part 2 of our "Friendship" series called
"Friends ...Support Each Other"