Nope

Well, it was inevitable, I guess. This past week my 2 year old daughter Selah told me "no", and on more than one occasion. The first time was after her bath. She had run to give Daddy a hug and then sat down on the couch, covered herself with pillows, and played like she was hiding. I asked her to come to me, to which she boldly replied, "no". I was so stunned. I glanced over at my husband who was holding the baby, looking equally shocked, and then I asked her to repeat what she had just said. A very nonchalant "Nope", was the response. Her look said it all. She was testing to see if this was acceptable. So, I calmly explained that she is not allowed to tell Mommy no, and gave her a little spanking, followed by hugs, an apology, and prayer for forgiveness. Mission accomplished, lesson learned, glad that's over, right? Nope.

Two days later it happened again- this time in public. We were just finishing up our checkout at the grocery store when Selah reached to the front of the cart and tightly squeezed her 10 month old little sister Susannah, making her cry. I told her she needed to apologize and give her a gentle hug, to which she replied "nope". After explaining how this was unacceptable and again directing her to apologize, with uncertainty in her tone, she again told me no. I did not look around but was fully aware I was being watched.

I took a moment to size up the situation and make my payment for the groceries. Grocery store or not, Selah needed immediate correction so that she would not learn from my lack of response that saying no to Mommy is somehow okay when other people are around. Then I got very close to Selah, took her hand in mine and quietly told her that she would now be receiving a spanking. As I was explaining her offenses, she reached over with the other hand, hugged her sister, kissed her on the forehead and apologized. Well, I let go of her hand, and told her that this was a much better choice, collected my receipt, and left the store, again not turning back to see if anyone was judging.

My husband jokes that I have been told 'what's what' by strangers in the grocery store more than anyone he knows. I have been told that my baby is too big for the baby sling and too small for it (all in the same month). I have had a woman pull a bow out of Susannah's hair telling me she is too young for hairbows (to which I politely replied that she was just fine, but I stuck the bow in her diaper bag anyway.) It's been too warm for socks and too cold for bare feet. I have even had a store associate come darting across the produce department and take a pen out of my daughter's hand and then tell me off for letting her have it. Okay, I agree on that one, but she had gotten ahold of it while I was picking out my bananas, and I was not given the opportunity to turn around and take care of it before the rebuke came.

The point is I have gotten my fair share of friendly and not so friendly advice and judgment from strangers in the grocery store. When it comes down to it, that moment was about teaching my daughter to honor her mother, let the judgment from strangers come. As uncomfortable as it makes me to be watched, and even more so to have someone come up to me and tell me I am doing something wrong in their opinion, I have come to the realization that people are gonna say and think what they will. What matters is the conviction the Lord has placed on my heart to instruct and discipline my kids according to His Word. In public or private, disobedience needs to be handled on the spot.

As for Selah, she told me no again a couple days later when it came time to clean up her puzzles. Only this time, I did not have to say anything. I gave her "the look", and she said it all. "Don't tell Mommy no. Sorry Mama. Hugs. Clean up time (started singing the clean-up song)". It's a learning process for both of us.

How do you handle disobedience that takes you by surprise? Do you handle it differently in public if people are watching? How can we overcome the discomfort of being watched and focus on correcting our children in a way that honors the Lord? How do you handle the friendly and not so friendly advice of strangers? (Would love some feedback on this one!)

Prayer: Wise and gracious Lord, I come to you today on my knees asking for wisdom from your Holy Spirit to guide me as I act and react to disobedient situations with my children. Please grant me heavenly knowledge and understanding to handle discipline with the proper amount of grace and correction. I also pray for the grace to be kind and polite to strangers offering advice, even when they are not. I thank you for entrusting me with this great responsibility and pray that my choices would honor You as I teach my children to make those same kind of choices. I love you Lord and again praise You for the gift of motherhood. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.