Celebrate Their Differences!

“For you created me in my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days of my life ordained for me were written in your book before one of the came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.” Psalm 139: 13-18

My three kids are so very different from each other. On the outside they have surprisingly similar features: same complexion, same curly hair, same eyebrows even, BUT on the inside…Whoa, are they different!

My oldest son is so sweet and incredibly silly at the same time. He is never in a rush, and I sincerely believe that he thinks life is his playground. He is super smart and talkative…and he always thinks he is right. (Dare I say, he’s a little like me in that respect. Ouch!)

My middle son is thoughtful, intense, “before his time”…a bit precocious. He is athletic, smart, and determined. Never quits…a figure-it-out kind of guy. But he needs his rest or he can be a beast. Yikes!

My youngest child is “so stinkin’ cute” (as her brothers would say). She is our little princess that packs a punch…literally. She is sweet and smart, incredibly cute, but that girl was born with a double-dose of feistiness. That little girl knows what she wants…and what she doesn’t want!

However, I caught myself sinning recently in the way I was relating to my oldest son. I was comparing him to his younger brother instead of allowing him to be who God created him to be. I want to encourage their gifts and help them grow and work through their differences. At the end of the day, I want them to KNOW that I love them incredibly, immeasurably even if they made a myriad of mistakes and bad choices that day. I want to love them into the men and women God has created them to be.

Yet, I caught myself essentially telling my oldest son that he needed to be a little more like his younger brother—persistent, not easy to give up, figure it out instead of immediately asking for help, stop complaining! All good attributes, but he did NOT need me to constantly remind of him of what his younger brother was doing right and what he was doing wrong.

I needed to correct my oldest Doodlebug without outwardly (or inwardly/secretly) hoping he would be a little more like his younger brother. TRUST ME, his younger brother has his own set of issues. I needed to teach him lovingly, gently, and consistently.

Consider some of the men and women in the Bible and their strengths and weaknesses: Moses, Daniel, David, Solomon, Job, Deborah, Ruth, Mary, Rahab, Paul. They each had some great qualities, but they also had their hang-ups or weaknesses. Some of their weaknesses are even recorded in Scripture for us to read about and learn from.

Yet, each one of them had a God-divined purpose—a special plan set in place by our Heavenly Father to use their gifts, their personalities, even their quirks and weaknesses for His glory. The same is true for our children. God made them different on purpose. He has a special plan for them. Some of the very things we find annoying or frustrating may be the very things God uses in an incredible way. When we allow them to blossom into who God has made them to be, when we love them for who they are NOW and not just for who they will be, we will see our children in a whole new light. We will see them as Jesus sees them…wonderfully and beautifully made.

Let’s pray

Abba Father, Thank you for blessing us with children. Children that challenge us and force us to examine ourselves. Children that show us more of you. Children that force us to press into you for wisdom and guidance. Thank you for their little personalities (or big ones), their gifts, and their talents. We even thank you for their weaknesses…because we trust that you will work it out all out for your glory. Help us to teach them and train them in righteousness and to constantly show them your love. Help us not compare our children to each other, but allow them to be who you have made them to be…beautiful inside and out. 

In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.