Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Growing Pains

Last week was a hard week for our family.  I had to pick up our almost three year old son from a Parent's Morning Out program that he attends for hitting.  I was shocked, mortified, ashamed, defensive, disappointed and sad.  My son was happy to see me at first, but when he realized he had to leave early, he was devastated.  After speaking with one of his teachers, and then explaining to him that we had to go home, I had to pick him up off the floor and carry him out, while he cried, "I'm sorry, I want to try again!" over and over again.  It was heartbreaking.  It was one of my worst days as a parent, and I think it was one of his worst days, too.

Growing pains.  He is learning so much in his little "school."  He's learning that he has the ability to make choices on his own, without me to guide or correct him.  He can choose to give or to take, to hurt or to help, to obey or disobey.  He's beginning to see that there are consequences for the choices he makes, even outside of our home. 

Growing pains.  Sometimes they seem harder for us moms than for our little ones.  Their setbacks become our setbacks.  Our pride comes to the surface and disappointment and doubt creep in.  "What am I doing wrong?  Should I go back to work?  Maybe he spends too much time with me.  He plays with other kids a lot, but do we do enough one on one play dates?  How can I help him to share?  How can I help him understand that hitting hurts and to have compassion for the other kids?  How can I help him understand that he is not entitled to whatever he wants, whenever he wants it, at any cost?" A lot for a three year old, I know! Lol. 

Questions and reflection are good, as are rewards and consequences, prayer, and counsel from fellow mommas who have been there. But the best thing we can do for our kids and ourselves is remember that God is their supreme parent.  He has a plan for their life and a purpose for their struggle, just as he does for ours.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. - James 1:2-4, NIV

Our son did get to "try again."  After much prayer and practice, he had two "perfect" days in a row, according to his teacher.   When I shared this praise with my faithful friends and thanked them for praying, my wise friend, Lena, responded back with "Praise!  And even when he doesn't have good days, praise God and thank Him because he is learning and growing."  And so are we, mommas, aren't we?  Learning and growing every day as the Lord uses our kids to show us how much we need to rely on him daily and entrust him fully with our little ones, even when it hurts, especially when it hurts!

Let's pray.

Dear God, thank you for the gift of our children.  Thank you for being their perfect parent always, even when we fall short.  Help us to trust you with their growth, even when we feel the growing pains, both theirs and ours.  Forgive our little ones for their sins, forgive us for ours Lord, and help us continue to grow more and more like you each day, as we trust in you.  We love you.  In Jesus' name, we pray.  Amen. 


  1. LOVE THIS POST!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing, Ingrid! :)

  2. Ditto that Teresa!!! Loved it! You are a wonderful mamma and Hunter is a beautiful child of God! Keep up the good work!