Sleep Deprived & Juggling Kids

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. - Isaiah 55:8

But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations. 
-Psalm 33:11

The LORD Almighty has sworn, "Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will happen." - Isaiah 14:24

Today I drove home after a very long and tiring week in the hospital. My four year old son had major reconstructive bladder surgery due to a birth defect he was born with. With my children napping in the back of the van, my mind began to wander thinking of the path we were now on. How my son, for the next 10 days will pee in a bag and be in pain periodically from the bladder spasms. 

For a split moment I felt bad for my son. For my family. Our week had been exhausting emotionally and physically. Sleep deprived and juggling three kids as my wonderful husband holds down two jobs. It was in that moment that the Lord whispered in my ear that HE has it all under control and that it was all worth it.

Worth it? Yeah there were many ministry opportunities throughout our stay.  Times we had an opportunity to share the love of Christ. Times we could pray for our nurses. Times we could refresh those in the medical profession that give endlessly and many times without thanks. 

I know HE has a plan. My eyes only see how it affects my little Jack and his body. But HIS plan is bigger than that. HE wants those nurses to know his son Jesus. HE longs for me to rely on HIS strength in those moments I want to give up. HE wants me to express gratitude, to our surgeon, in a way that looks different from the average Joe. 

And so I accept the plan HE has for us. As uncomfortable as it gets sometimes...I own it. I will keep my eyes open for those moments HE puts before me where HIS character can shine through. 

Worth it? Yeah it's definitely worth it. HIS purpose and plan is a beautiful thing...a thing I am humbled to be a part of. 

Lord we thank you for ministry opportunities that stretch us and grow our faith. Prick our hearts for the lost. Allow us to realize that your plan is so much more than what meets the eye. Help us to see our kids as tools you use to share Truth with others. Show me how to be good example to my children as I walk in the light.