The Rating Scale

Hi! I am Joannie.The Army coined the phrase, "The toughest job you'll ever love!" I believe this is very applicable to parenting also. I am keenly aware of my imperfections in parenting, but it doesn't negate the love of my calling!! It is hard to believe after 24 years marriage and 21 years of parenting, we are still learning. We are still trying to figure out what each child needs. Still trusting God loves them more than we ever could. Still believing He wants me to grow through this adventure of parenting. My husband Greg and I have learned much through the years together. We truly enjoy each season of our marriage, including raising children, and serving in ministry. Our three children are at very different stages of life from middle school, to starting college, to graduating college and planning a wedding. I have no idea what adventure the Lord has in store for the day, but I trust who is at the helm directing a perfect plan for His ultimate glory. I look forward to sharing with you what God is teaching me through the wonderful privilege of parenting.

image found here

Our middle child, is our only boy. Drew was created with a joy for structure and schedules and rules. He thrives on what is exact. He understands boundaries and he strives for perfection. These qualities often lead him to anxiety filled moments, of: being on time, making perfect grades, fully following every direction given. Consequently, he is often timid.

Due to these “anxieties” his world seems withdrawn. It has been more safe for him, to tuck himself in his room than chance being with friends, who just might invite him to “live on the edge” (specifically do something unplanned, or what he might consider not within the boundaries.)

Our man child is now 19. Almost two months ago, we left him in another state, 2,000 miles from our home to attend the largest four year college in that state.

image found here

His anxieties have become mine. Will he do OK? Did I prepare him? Is the entire college “scene” going to stress him out? (After all, we practically had to force him to commit to a school because he was so concerned he wouldn’t pick the “perfect” one.)

Since he has been there, he has called a bit more frequently than I was accustomed to. I have enjoyed listening to him while he is walking to and from classes. However, when I’ve called him, he seems busy with friends in the background, or on his way to meet some guys for lacrosse or basketball.

Last night, I chose to text him. Not texting him like I do with my girlfriends, with all the details on “pages” of texts. Rather, the short “cool” texting that was written for his generation. Filled with abbreviations and dropped vowels and grammatical mistakes. The texts began with me asking him, “Asleep? Busy?” From there he told me he had been asked to serve in a leadership role in his dorm. He seemed happy about that. I congratulated him. His responses took longer than his usual. My final text told him I was falling asleep, I loved him, and am proud of him. I finished the text with the question, ”How would you rate college so far?”

Our family has the tradition of rating everything. We rate restaurants, school days, clothing, vacations, movies, etc. 10 is always the best with 1 the lowest. Meals range from 6s to 9.3s while school and activities sometime rack in a low 3 or high 9.5.

I was asleep before my man child could send his response.

I woke to his text this morning. “Love you! College def 10!”

For my guy who loves life organized, for my man who struggles to be courageous, and tends to be timid…

God has answered our prayers. I celebrate this text, with God’s fingerprints all over it!!

I love Drew! To me…Drew is def 10!!


ENCOURAGEMENT – Rather than asking the Lord to change characteristics about your child ask Him to show you how to best encourage your child to use those characteristics for His glory.