Full of Wonder

Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.

Psalm 127:3 (NLT)

Xavier was three years old and the other kids and I had just had it with him breaking every ones stuff. It was the last straw when he broke Boston’s brand new remote control truck. I was upset. Boston was upset. I had used up all the words I knew to explain to him that breaking other peoples toys made them sad, I had given him time outs, taken his toys, spankings, nothing seemed to get through to this boy. Whether it was the right thing to do or not, I had one last idea. Xavier loved cars and trains. I think vroom was the first sound he made. He slept with cars, he carried them in his pockets, and he had special cars that he would trade grandma for every time he visited her. Cars were VERY important to him.

When he broke the truck we were all outside. I told Boston to go pick out his brothers favorite car and bring dad’s hammer. Boston did as instructed. I then told him to set the car on the sidewalk. I made sure Xavier was watching. Then I told Boston to smash the car with Dad’s hammer. He gave me a look that said, “Mom are you crazy.” I apparently was crazy thinking this would work because he smashed the car and Xavier started jumping up and down doing the Tool man Taylor grunt yelling, “AWESOME” and ran off to get another car to smash. There went that idea.

This was when it finally clicked. This boy drives me crazy sometimes because I do not get him. Each one of my children is different in their own way but with him I had a difficult time understanding him because he is so much different than me. Everything was funny to him. No discipline ever seemed to work because to him it was funny. I would get so frustrated because, seriously, everything is not funny! Especially when you are in trouble. This is when I really started studying him, like he was a school project. I prayed that God would help me see this amazing little boy through His eyes. God has done that for me and continues to do that for me. I still do not always understand why he does what he does, but I do understand what makes the boy tick.

In taking the time to really pay attention to Xavier I just slowed down. I tried to see what was so funny to him all the time. I honestly still have no idea but what I do find is that he makes me laugh; he makes his brother, his sisters and his dad laugh. He brings joy and fun to our family. He makes me loosen up. He loves people and making them laugh.

One day, not long after the car-smashing incident, I walked into the bathroom and there he was lying on the floor. His body was kind of wrapped around the toilet with his head to the back of the toilet. Now to this momma who has two little boys, the bathroom floor around the toilet is by far the most unsanitary thing in the house. It was definitely God answering my prayers to help me see my son through His eyes that kept me from yelling at him in that moment without a care as to what he was doing on the floor. What I did instead was squat down next to him and said, “Buddy, what are you doing?” He said, “momma, when I flush the toilet where does the water go and does the new water come in this tube.” I was shocked. He was three. But what God made me see right then was that my little boy had a brain for how things worked. He didn’t care that he was most likely laying in some pee or that all the other kids were playing. He only cared about how the toilet worked. That day God gave me a little glimpse of the inner tickings of my son and because of that our relationship changed. I spent a lot less time being frustrated with him and a lot more time explaining to him how things worked.

God has shown me so many things about my little guy and I know there is so much more for me to learn about him. But I love it. I love learning about each one of my children. They are amazing little creations of God that have fears, they experience joy, sorrow, and pain, they want to love and be loved. They each handle things in their own particular way. They have different personalities and different love languages. One likes mint chip ice cream, one prefers cookie dough, and the other two don’t care as long as there is ice cream.



Xavier is now 6 years old, he is not only curious to know how things work but also likes to test things and do experiments. He is full of wonder. He told our neighbor the other day that he wants to be a scientist…but not the evil kind. Recently, he was with one of his friends doing an experiment. He had flipped his bike upside down and was spinning the tires as fast as he could. The experiment part was to see what would happen if he stuck his forehead to the spinning wheel. Well, what happened was a giant friction burn on his forehead. But again he just thought it was “AWESOME.”

Moms, we need to get a little curious, just like Xavier, do an experiment. Remember science class and experiments? Make a hypothesis and then an observation. Write down each of your children’s name and your hypothesis. What do you know about their personalities, their love languages, their likes and dislikes? What kind of discipline works best for them? If they could pick an activity, what would it be? Then observe.

I have observed that my frustration with my kids sometimes comes because I want them to be like me. I want them to pick up their toys like I would, play quietly like I would, walk normal like I would. But, they are not me, the things they do are not just to irritate me. If I take the time to see them for who they are, instead of trying to make them someone they are not, a beautiful thing happens in that relationship.

Remember what it is like to be full of wonder over your children? When that beautiful baby was placed in your arms and you spent hours at a time sitting there in wonder, amazed that this little person was once in your belly. You studied their little feet and hands, new what each little cry meant. Ask God to help you see your children the way He sees them. Be fascinated with your kids and study them like you did when they were first born. Pray that God would give you a glimpse at your child’s heart.

Lord, I pray that you would fill our hearts with this desire to know our children, to see them like you do. Remind us of what it was like when they were new little babies and we studied every inch of them. Help us to be patient on this journey of getting to know our children. I thank you for the blessing of these children that you have entrusted to our care.

A couple of books that may be helpful to you are Personality Plus for Parents by Florence Littauer or The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.