Always & Never

Lately I find myself saying "always" and "never" a whole lot to my kids about those crazy things they habitually do daily/weekly. It usually starts with frustration and ends with those words flying off my lips. I later regret saying that, because it really isn't ALWAYS or NEVER that they do it, but it feels that way because of how often I am disciplining them for that specific behavior. But God has been teaching me the detriment those words are to their souls. If they continually hear those words with the struggles they have...they will eventually stop trying. They will assume I don't believe they are trying since they are ALWAYS doing that  or NEVER stopping that.

What if God said that to me, when I fail in an issue I have struggled with in the past?

I never realized how powerful the tongue is until I became a mommy. It has the power to give life and death. It can lift up or pull down.  It can encourage and catapult our kids out of the rut they are in, and it can also discourage and place our kids in a pit feeling like a failure. It is my constant struggle in this season of raising three kiddos- one with special needs and homeschooling.

The struggle is to remain quiet when I want to share how I really feel. When I want to let my kids know how discouraged I am yet realizing it's not wholesome words in the heat of the moment. I am learning the art (yes it's an art) of holding my tongue and bringing my frustration before my Maker. In my quiet time with the Lord, I can let out all the ugly words I am feeling and be reminded of Truth. God reminds me to see the cup half full instead of half empty. He sheds light on their successes instead of allowing me to wallow in their failures OR mine.

How are you with holding your tongue? It's tough, right!

In your day, is there a time where you can get alone with God to share your heart and the struggles in parenting? If not, how can we schedule that in?

What is your struggle right now in parenting? We all have one- as sinners living life on earth.

Don't be afraid to tell God of your hurts, disappointments, and discouragement in parenting. Bringing up the next generation for Christ is such a challenging and awesome job all wrapped up together. One day you will look back on these lessons - grateful He loved you enough to change you - and share it with another struggling mommy!

God loves you! Don't give up! Seek Him in all you do and it will reflect in the beauty of your spirit!

Tags of the Fan!

Funny when I finished the blog post last week, I kept rehearsing it in my head thinking of what I DIDN’T say.

My dad has always been the big obnoxious fan going to ballgames in full regalia.  He is known for carrying his stadium-padded seat in one hand and a megaphone in the other. (He should repent, he stole the megaphone from an opposing team.)

As each of my brothers played and excelled in football, we would hear him calling out his litany of “tag lines.”  Tag lines that no one but our family understood.  To fully appreciate my dad’s tag lines you must first understand his persona.  My dad was 6’3”, wears a size 13 shoe and usually hovers around 230 pounds.  When his voice would boom through the stadium everyone knew it.

From his often unsportsmen and hysterically funny comments to the referees or the opposing team or our team, you knew what my dad was thinking.  For example; when he took off his glasses and offered them to the referee, we all knew the insinuation.  When the referee looked up to him in the stands, my dad would yell, “Yeah, I’m talking to you and I’ll be glad to bring the glasses to you.”

Dad was never bashful about offering the Coach some pointers or plays about a poorly called or executed plan. We all ducked our heads knowing Dad was about to hurl his opinions.  Although, he meant what he said, he often would find the coaches, players, referees and even fans to apologize to after the game to be sure he hadn’t offended them and to ask forgiveness.

Along with his funny one-liners and actions, my dad would shout out his tag lines to my brothers.  “C. A.” Which our family knew meant Christian attitude,  or “C.T.” which meant Christian testimony.  One of our favorites was “Pursuit Duke!”

My youngest brother was called “Duke."  No one called him this other than my dad from the stands.  It was on this tag line that my brother was to hunt out and put his teeth into the opposition.

The games have not been played by my brothers since their college years almost 20 years ago.

My dad has a new tag line.  I softer more gentler perspective on this world has lead up to new tag lines from Dad. 

My dad over the past couple of weeks has been displaying some very uncharacteristic behavior.  Slurred words, not being able to complete thoughts and tasks are just a few of his new behaviors.

It culminated yesterday with a trip to the ER and a decision to do emergency surgery.  His brain was filling with blood causing pressure and the previously mentioned behaviors.

The night before he went to the hospital, I spoke to him on the phone.  He was unable to communicate anything I could really understand.  Minutes before his surgery I called him.  The Lord allowed him to put words in order.  He told me he loves me.  He finished with his most recent tag line, “Just remember who’s in charge!”

As my daddy was wheeled away to surgery, unsure of the success or outcome, he had given me my charge. My tag line. “Just remember who’s in charge!”

We know who is in charge.  Do we trust Him?  Trust Him enough to make “all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.”  Do I believe He can do whatever He says He can do?  Do I trust Him to love our children and our families far more than I do?

So for a second week I ask, what is your tag line?

What will your children remember hearing you say over and over?  Are they hearing words of affirmation and encouragement?  Have you proven to them that you live by what you say? Can they trust your tag line?

Consider your words…Proverbs 18: 21  “Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

For those who have read this far, my sweet daddy, Lawrence is still in ICU with more than a foot of staples around his head.  The surgeon is pleased with the surgery and expects a full recovery.  Please pray against the threat of infection and his on going improvement.  I am forever grateful for your thoughts and prayers for the One who taught me, “Just remember who is in charge!"

Breathe Words of Life

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. - Proverbs 18:21

This past weekend I was blessed with a free ticket to go to the Women of Faith conference in Fort Lauderdale. The great speakers and awesome worship were so refreshing for me after a long and exhausting week. I was thankful to sit, relax, and be restored by His Holy Spirit. 

My favorite part of the whole conference was a quote made by comedian Mark Lowry. In his comedy segment, we laughed as he shared how as a child he was wild and active. He tested his parents and teachers. I tuned in as he talked about his mom and what she was like. He explained how one sentence his parents said each night, as they tucked him into bed, was monumental in his life...

"Mark, we know God is going to do great things with your life."

This statement reminded me of Proverbs 18:21 (above) and how much power is in the words we speak to our children. Mark expressed how much his parents voice meant in his life, and how, at 54 years old, he still thinks about those words today. 

Our kids will believe who we say they are. They will believe who we say Jesus is. As we trust the Lord to do great things in the life of our children, we need to be sure to voice that to them as well. So as I tucked my son in tonight, I stated the same quote, as Mark's parents, to my son because I believe it's true. 

What does Proverbs 18:21 mean to you?

Do you believe the Lord has a great plan for your child? 

Breathe life into your child and share that with them today.

Set a GUARD over my MOUTH

With every problem that arises in life there are two parts: the issue and the solution. Parenting is no different. Over the past couple of weeks parenting has been extremely difficult for me. I have sensed some, spiritual warfare, but I know there is some fruit, within this season of trials, that the Lord wants me to savor as well.

My parenting issue this week has been the mouth of my older son. Disrespect. Not honoring me. Flippantly saying things and without any punishment. Even as I write this out, I recognize the solution. I have allowed the seed of disrespect to take root in my son's heart. Because there was no consequence immediately following his disrespect, he thought it was ok. In the days that followed, this sin would grow big enough that even his little brother was influenced and doing it as well.

I have realized my children's issues could be handled better if I would follow through and be consistant. Many times their sin can be overlooked, because of the busyness of the moment or crazy going on,  and before you know it, their sin is full grown, enormous, overbearing, and out of control.

As I searched God's word for encouragement for my son, God taught me what HIS word says about my mouth. Isn't that so like our sovereign God? We seek scripture, for those who sinned against us, and the Lord shows us through that process the ugliness that needs to be removed in our own heart before we can confront them.

Side note: 
This issue with my oldest son has shined a light on my own mouth and how I handle conflict with my children. I struggle, in times of frustration, with holding my tongue. More times than not I have apologized to my oldest son for things I have said in times of struggle with him. So thankful the Lord sees my flaws, as a mom, and allows my children to be the mirror, held up, reminding me of those areas where Christ wants to grow me :)

So here is what the Lord spoke to me:


A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. - Proverbs 15:1

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless. - James 1:26

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. - Proverbs 18:21

this one is my favorite....

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! - Psalm 141:3

Praying for strength for each person reading this.  
Praying for refreshment for the weary mom who has lost hope.
Praying for the mom who wants to use her mouth for His glory but feels like a failure.
Praying for the girl who feels like there is no "fruit" but seeds are planted & a harvest is coming.
Praying for the friend who knows she needs prayer for this but is afraid to ask.

Share. Ask for prayer. Allow others to hear your struggles as a mom. Transparency leads to ministry. 
Christ loves you. HE sees your struggles. HE wants you to come and ask for help. HE created you. HE created your kids who test you. HE has answers. HE wants to share them with you. 

HIS hope is that in times of frustration we would go to a quiet place, pray and get self-control. HIS desire is that we be an example to our children in word and deed. Having the restraint to hold our tongue when we want to scream out of exhaustion. When buttons are pushed,  we would read aloud the Word of God allowing His Spirit to permeate our heart & home.  That praise and worship would be turned up and danced to when satan wants to discourage us. That we would ask a friend to hold us accountable to restrain our tongue in times of crazy. 

Lord we thank you for conviction. We thank you for your Word. Challenge us in those areas that need change. Help us to ask for forgiveness from our children. Do a work in us today. -Amen