Daddy

Sitting around the breakfast table with my kids the other day they were so happy, laughing and talking. They were full of stories about their daddy and all they had done with him the night before. They played hide and seek and daddy had picked the best and craziest places to hide them. They played mission impossible and daddy made up the best missions, they were really nearly impossible. Daddy made up the funniest house rules for Uno Roboto, “he wanted us to be quiet,” they said laughing, thinking this was the funniest thing their dad has ever requested of them. Around and around they went with story after story, giggle after giggle, all from the joy their daddy had brought into their lives. I loved it, I was happy to sit there and listen to it for quite a long time.

When we had our first baby I never expected to experience such an overflow of joy just watching my husband hold his daughter and stare at her with such love in his eyes, like she was the most amazing thing he had ever seen. It was in those moments that I knew I would always make sure my kids knew without a doubt how much their daddy loved and cared for them. I would also make sure their daddy knew how much his children loved him.

When my kids were very little I always made sure that daddy coming home was the most exciting thing of the day. Whether they had just sat home all day or had a day full of fun and adventure. When he got home they ran to the door all squeals and smiles ready to give and receive hugs. They know that daddy goes to work everyday to take care of them, to feed them, clothe them and provide a home for them. They know their daddy loves them very much and he knows they love him.

My husband is a very exceptional dad, I believe his love for them would shine through regardless if I got them all excited that daddy was coming home or not. But I do know that it makes a difference. As a stay at home mom I am with my kids way more than double the time that he is. If I spent that time criticizing, complaining and condemning their beloved father, no matter how much his love shined through, they would see him through a different set of eyes. They would respect him less and question the authenticity of his love when they see one thing from him and hear another thing from mommy. What a confusing life they would lead.

In several blogs it has already been mentioned that the best gift you can give your children is to love your husband. That is pure and simple truth. This is just one more example of that. I know that there are many cases where speaking kindly or respectfully of your children’s father is not an easy task. But, we have to remember that in our own anger when we lash out at husbands or ex-husbands through our children it is the children who are suffering your wrath and I am sure that is not the intention of your heart.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29

Those who listen are your children, even if you do not want to build others up, your child’s father in this case, IT IS FOR THE BENEFIT OF YOUR CHILDREN. If there is anything we need to get a grip on it is our tongues. Let’s read the rest of this scripture:

“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4: 30-32

Let’s not hurt our children with our words. There is nothing those words are good for. If this is a area in your life where you struggle seek the Lord in prayer and do what Ephesians 4:30-32 tells us to do, get rid of the bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice, forgive.

I want to share with you a personal story from my childhood that will show you the power of a mother’s words. When I was 5 and my sister was 3 my parents got divorced. I rarely remember hearing my mother say anything bad about my dad, and I know there were some things she certainly could have said. My dad was not the most attentive father and if my sister or I ever said anything about it my mother never joined in our pity party or trashed my dad. Instead she would just tell us that our dad loves us the best that he can. My parents always worked out there differences and when it came to discipline we knew they would stand together. The result was 2 daughters who have a very high respect for both their parents. We love them both and we do not question their love for us, even the love that was “the best he could give.” My mom could have used us to lash out at my dad, it would have been easy but who would have been the most hurt by it, my sister and I. I love and appreciate my mom so much for that love she showed us in holding her tongue.

Now from a different perspective, I watched another family very close to me. I watched a mom and a dad who could never get along and never had anything nice to say about the other. They would speak unkindly about each other to their children. If mom said no you can’t, dad said yes you can. If dad said no, mom said yes. They were both so full of anger, resentment and bitterness against the other; I don’t know if they even realized what they were doing to their children. But, they were fighting a selfish war of hatred and using their kids. The kids noticed. They took advantage of pitting one parent against the other. They grew up with a lack of respect for both parents and any other adult. They also grew up without the security of a loving family because the view through their eyes was always distorted by the angry, bitter words of one of their parents against the other. I can’t imagine what that would be like to have dad do something loving and special for me only to have my mother criticize him in her own bitterness and the end result only being that she would make me feel unloved.

It is absolutely impossible to change someone else but we certainly have the power and access to a greater power, God, to change ourselves. In many of our homes this may not even be a problem but we see, we see it in so many homes. Pray for those parents, love those children and understand the hurt that they must be suffering, the uncertainty they must feel.

Lord, as mothers we have so much power, power that we don’t even realize most of the time. If it is the yearning of our hearts to hurt our husbands/ex-husbands through our children I pray Lord for a lighting bolt of conviction to fall to our knees, beg your forgiveness and help to make things right. Your love Lord is what we are to share in all circumstances; there is no time that calls for breeding hatred in the hearts of our children or sowing the seeds of doubt for their father’s love. I pray for the parents of the children I know who are the innocent victim’s caught in this war of selfishness, protect them and love them. Help them in their innocence to see through your eyes instead of the distorted ones created by their parents.

Our Journey as Foster Parents (Guest Blog)

Our Journey as Foster Parents

by Sandy Chapman

Yes, you read the title correctly. Some of you already know this and some of you may be finding this out for the very first time. We are and have been foster parents for a few months. We have had so many questions and comments thrown our way that I wanted to share a few insights of this amazing journey that God has put us on.



Let me start at the beginning. After having our 4th son I knew that I wanted to have more kids. However, I also knew that I did not want to be pregnant and gain another 65 lbs as I usually do with all my kids. (That’s another story.) Nor did I think my body could handle another pregnancy. Let’s face it; I had 4 kids one after another. My body needed some rest. So I began to look into adoption. I know what some of you are thinking, “She’s NUTS! She has 4 kids and wants more.” Here is my response to that. Yes, I have been blessed with 4 amazing little boys and yes I want more. God has blessed me with a gift! It is a gift of being a mother of many kids. Some people are meant to have 1 or 2 kids, maybe 3. I know that God’s plan was for me to have many. That certainly does no mean 19 kids and counting. It just means that having a house of 4 is not a big deal. It really is not that hard for us. It’s actually loads of FUN! Many of you know that I am very organized, a multi-tasker, laid back, and I have a little OCD which helps this house run very smoothly. I like to say that “I thrive on organized chaos.” Anyway, back to my story. I began looking into adopting a child from Poland since that is where my family is from. Let’s just say that although we could provide an amazing loving home for a child from Poland, we could never afford the international adoption fees and prices.



My hubby suggested that we take the MAPP classes to educate ourselves about being foster parents. My reply was “NO WAY! I don’t want to fall in love with a child and give them back!” I’m sure that is what many of you would say. Even though I knew that scripturally we are to care for the orphans, regardless of the length of time. (God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27 NIV This is just one of the MANY references to care for the orphans. It just happens to be my favorite one.) Reluctantly, we began taking the classes in the summer of 2011. Let’s just say that God convicted me with a nice swift kick in the rear. As humans we are ALL very selfish. The Pastor at our Church says it best “I’m always on my mind!” It’s human nature to only think of what is best for us, our needs, our wants. That is not what God intended for us.

The woman that was teaching our class said something that has stuck with me to this day. She said “You have to risk your heart being broken in order to mend a child’s broken heart.” Wow, all I could think when she said that. I was selfish! I did not want to have my heart broken! But what about these kids who have broken hearts? Who is going to care for them and show them Christ’s unconditional love? They are just victims of circumstances from their parents. They did not ask to be born into a home that would neglect, ignore, or even abuse them. Most of these kids are pulled from their homes with nothing but the clothes on their back. I can not even imagine the hurt, fear, and confusion they are feeling.



Well, we finished the classes and began all the steps to get licensed. 4Kids of South Florida was the agency that we got licensed with. They helped us from start to finish. We got our license in November and within days got called with our first placement. A 2 month old baby girl. Yes, I got a girl in my house! WOOHOO! She was only with us for a month. And believe it or not, I was not a wreck when she left. Of course, I was sad to see her go. But, God protected my heart. A few weeks later a 2 day old baby girl came to stay with us for 1 week. And we have already been called with our next placement, a 4 month old baby girl. Some of you may be wondering how long do these kids stay in your home? Well, it just depends. It’s kind of a case by case situation. A family member may step up and get custody of the child after they were taken away from their parents. This will usually mean a shorter term placement.Other times they can be with you the whole time that the parents are trying to get their act together. That could be many months. I have friends who have had kids for over 6 months. I know of other friends who have kids that became available for adoption since the parents could not do what was asked and required of them. Adoption? I know some of you want to know if we are going to adopt one of these kids. The truth is, I don’t know! Yes, I would love to have a little girl. However, we see how great the need is to be foster parents. There are so many kids in shelters because there are just not enough foster parents to care for them. So, will we adopt one if they become available for adoption? My response to that is, we will cross that bridge when we get there. For now, WE LOVE BEING FOSTER PARENTS!



Some of you may be wondering, “What about your kids? How do they feel about all of this?” When we started this process we sat down with them and had to explain what a foster family was in a way that they would understand. The woman who taught our class gave us a great way to explain it. This is basically what we said, “You know when we take a vacation we stay at a hotel, right? It’s like our home while we are on vacation. We aren’t going to stay there forever, just for a little while. Well, we are like a Hotel for God. We are going to let little babies stay with us for a little while. Until they find their families.” The older boys understood and have loved the journey so far. They have talked to their teachers about the babies, they have pictures of the babies in their bibles, and have even had their class pray about these babies. It has been such an amazing life lesson for our boys to see that not all kids have homes. The younger boys like to play with the babies. They don’t really know why one leaves and a new one comes. My 3 year old asked when we were going to go pick up the first placement that we had. It was so cute, he said he missed her. It will be amazing to see how they all grow and learn from this.



I hope that this encourages many of you to step up and help. There are so many ways to help. You can help by praying, becoming a foster parent, becoming an approved babysitter (so foster parents can have a date), sponsoring a child in foster care, becoming a safe house (to help families before they end up in crisis), donating supplies, encouraging and supporting foster parents. Please feel free to ask me any questions. I will be happy to answer them as best a possible. May you and your families be blessed this New Year!



Sandy

A Place of Refuge

“The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” Deuteronomy 33:27

Life moves so quickly these days. We bring our babies home from the hospital one day and it seems like they are riding a bike the next. I think kids, in general, tend to make time go by quickly. There are schedules, practices, school work, play-dates, games, recitals, and a myriad of other events. But on top of that, we live in a face-paced, grab-n- go culture where things are accelerated by modern technology and our desire to have the ‘latest and greatest’…(outfit, shoes, phone, TV, etc.). Linda Anderson, the teacher of our Mom to Mom study, stressed that we are living in a society of overworked parents and overscheduled kids. Linda doesn’t suggest that we withdraw from all activities, yet she suggests that we intentionally balance our schedules. In this blog, I am going to share with you a few of the treasures I received from my Mom to Mom group this past week…treasures that are too valuable not to pass on.

As Linda so wisely highlighted, too often we allow our homes to become dispatch centers: a place where we meet to decide where and when to make the next move. Our homes should be a place of refuge—a place where our children feel secure and loved, a place where we build community with our kids. She mentioned that first and foremost, our children need to learn the “fear of the Lord”—who God is, who we (and they) are, and that there is a King in our house. She emphasized that it is important for our kids to learn to obey us so that they can learn to obey God.

At the same time we should make sure that are children feel loved. There is a big difference between knowing that you are loved and feeling loved. This is one of the many ways in which we can help our children relate to the everlasting love of the father. As Courtney mentioned in a previous blog, this would require us to intentionally act instead of react to our kids—especially when they push our limits.

Our homes need to be a place of safety for our children—a place where we keep some things out and some things in. Things we should keep out are bad media influences. This can take on many forms: too much exposure to the internet, a scary part in a “kid’s show”, an inappropriate commercial, etc. And beware, although I like Disney, all of their “G” movies are not appropriate for our younger preschool children. Linda also mentioned that some things we should keep inside our home are the confidences of our children. If your child shares something with you in love and confidence, be careful not to mention it to a friend. Our kids need to know that they can trust us and that we don’t tell our girlfriends everything about them.

I could probably go on and on about all things I learned last week, but for the sake of time (mine and yours :)), I just want to draw your attention to a few ways in which we can build community in our homes:

• Slow down and take a deep breath…there is no reason why we should feel like we need to move at lightning speed all the time…our kids can’t keep up with that, and we can barely keep up with ourselves. Too fast is too stressful!
• Eat dinner as a family as often as possible.
• Model Jesus Christ so that your kids come to understand more about Him through your example.
• Be consistent with discipline (in love), but also show mercy and grace.
• Use technology wisely, but limit its use so your kids are not addicted to your iPhone, TV, the computer, etc.
• Take a family vacation. Cut off the phone as much as possible.

Last, but incredibly important: Remember that too much of a good thing is still too much (i.e. sports practices, music lessons, drama, church events, etc.). :)

Have a blessed day, my friend!
Teresa

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, you are so good to us, and in your perfect nature, you have such incredible balance. You deal with us lovingly, yet firmly. You are careful to give us what we need and sometimes what we want, but never too much. Thank you for setting the perfect example for us. Help us model your son Jesus in our home, so that our children can learn to have a personal relationship with you. Help us navigate this thing called “motherhood” in a way that truly pleases you and bring you glory. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Verses to ponder:

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Psalm 91:1-2

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1

Deeper still

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Pr.27:17 (NLT)

I just got back from visiting Courtney and her four children. It just so happened that both of our husbands were out of town over the weekend so I jumped in the car and drove the two and a half hours that separate us. My boys and I were very excited for some sweet fellowship. Somehow I knew it was the Lord providing an opportunity, knowing my friend has sometimes really long weeks with her husband out of town a lot. I prayed we would be a blessing to her while there. Little did I know how blessed we would be.

It’s one thing to meet up with a friend for coffee or at the park. It’s a whole other matter to go into one’s home and see how they do life for two days. My friend and I talked while fixing lunches, dinners and long after the kids went to bed. We encouraged each other in God, shared experiences, vented to each other and prayed together. Our friendship is still fairly new so we talked about our families and how we grew up. I can’t remember the last time I had an entire day with a friend without having to leave because of chores or responsibilities. After awhile everyone relaxes fully and you begin to see someone for who they are. And when you discover and observe something good, your trust grows and you begin to really receive each other. As I observed good things in my friend and her family, it happened to me, I began to learn and grow.

I saw great camaraderie between the four home schooled children. The oldest girl is an amazing young woman with a sweet smile, innocence, respect and sense of responsibility as I watched her help her mom and me with anything needed. The boys exhibited character in how they nurtured and took care of their little guest friends (even when my little guy was cranky and whiny) When they were playing the Wii, my Tyler (3yrs old) had a remote without batteries so he wouldn't get frustrated when his car went off the track. All of them told him time and again what a good driver he was even though someone else was controlling the car. (such a picture of Gods love that covers!) Another time I noticed my friends youngest one was not “babied” and took her discipline without complaining, something I was convicted about with my little guy.

The things I didn’t notice were just as significant. I didn’t notice any complaining, impatience or fights between the four. That’s amazing since we were there for two days! Nobody was telling on anyone else or being mean. There were hurt feelings when someone was excluded but it was unintentional and quickly worked out. There was a maturity and self sufficiency about the 5, 6, 8 and 10 year olds that is to be desired, but here is the real message and point that I want to make. In spending time with these four, I noticed my own children behaving better, helping more readily, obeying quicker and being more content. They conformed into their environment and were affected by their friends. Even at that age, those little ones were sharpening each other and transforming lives. How powerful!

I was edified as well, being convicted how often I offer assistance to my two boys when it’s not really needed. With four, one can’t do that and has to rely on them to express their needs. The result is a child (or four), not catered to but responsible to an extent for their own well being.
This experience was so powerful to me and I began to realize what God was intending the church to be all along, examples in real life, one to another. Not when we are on our best behavior in church but at home with our family. Would we dare to invite our friends to see how we really are? And if we fall short, would our friends dare to “sharpen” us by telling us the truth?

” Now I myself am confident concerning you, my brethren, that you also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another.” Rom.15:14
” And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you,” 1Thess.5:12

We all know and read the Word on how to be and grow but this permission of a friend to speak truth into our lives is undiscovered country, at least to me. What would happen if I got so deep that I could trust a friend to tell me the truth about myself? Also, in love, tell me what my blind spots are and to help me improve. How much could I grow if I allowed this admonition through my spouse or close family member who really knows me? (I have to put a disclaimer here and say that I’m of course talking about a person of integrity and a believer) I know You have people like that in your life, not perfect but redeemed and who are for you and want your best. Spend time with someone on a deeper level this week and ask sometimes for truth about yourself, as she sees it. If you can receive it, it will be life to you. I will do the same.

“Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.” Pr.27:6 (NLT)

True friends are a gift, lets receive them and let us be one.

My Marriage...My Gift

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. - Psalm 51:10

So as we venture into 2012 I have decided on a ONE word resolution for myself. Yep one word. INTENTIONAL. It is easy to get so busy with life that we neglect to have a plan or goal in mind. We can get stagnant in our thinking and actions, all the while wondering how we got there. The answer is easy...it is one of two reasons....(1)because we haven't identified the goal we are after or (2) we haven't asked someone to hold us accountable to staying on the path to reach it. Or both!

Today we are going to hone in on being intentional in our marriage. Marriage is hard. Joannie shared with us a few weeks ago the greatest "gift" we can give our children is to "Love Your Spouse." This really got me thinking about my marriage and how it could be better this next year. What an easy, free gift to give my children.

So...after reading, I created a simple marriage survey and sent it out to some friends. I want my marriage to be the best it can be and what better way then gleaning lessons from others (2 Corinthians 1:1-3). My prayer is that as you read the questions and the top/most common responses, your heart and spirit would be renewed for your marriage in 2012. 

SURVEY QUESTIONS:
(1) What has been the greatest joy of being married?

Sharing life and being in love with my best friend, having our children and becoming a family


Serving the Lord together


Doing life with someone! Allowing the Lord to guide and direct our lives together.


Having someone to go through the trials and joys of life with.


Having a godly leader and best friend to share life with. There is little to no drama in our marriage, and for that I am extremely thankful and blessed.


Having someone to rely on, and trust with all my heart, with anything.


Seeing the lord grow myself and my husband in our walks with him and with each other! Also sharing our children and our love for them!


Seeing how sweet our marriage has gotten by sticking together.


Waking up next to my best friend every morning!

2) What has been the hardest thing about being married? Why?

Sharing life with my best friend :):) Bringing two separate lives together as one. Losing a child. 

Giving up complete independence, especially in finances.

Caring so much. You hurt when he hurts.

Hurt....Loving someone so much that they can hurt you more than anyone else

Being on the same page. Sometimes we get so busy that we miss each other and in turn we have a breakdown in communication.

When my husband had an affair.

Learning to love each other unconditionally. You can only do it with God's help.

Sacrificing my time and energy to take care of someone else. Not always feeling appreciated for it.

Juggling everything, and making that time for each other with kids is very hard.

Forgiveness...when you know you haven't done anything wrong..but to keep the peace you give in...It is called sacrifice

I would say submitting when u don't agree with the choices being made.

Getting over those rough patches when it seems like you are completely disconnected from each other. It takes a lot of faith, prayer and time to get through it.

Putting aside my own selfishness and pride in order to have a successful marriage. To give up myself so that I can be the partner that my husband needs.

(3)  Do you do devotions together as a couple?

YES - 22.5%

NO - 32.5%

WISH WE WERE - 45% 

(4) Do you think doing a devotion or having one night per week set aside to focus on your marriage is important?

YES -98%

NO - 2%

(5) What book or marriage message/sermon/book has greatly impacted your marriage?

Love & Respect

Weekend to Remember - Getaway

The 5 Love Languages

Love Dare

Power of a Praying Wife

(6) Do you ever think back to the passion you had during your dating days (with your spouse) and wish you could have that again?

Yes 42.5%

No  15% 

Sometimes 42.5%

(7) What is one thing we can do to keep the flame alive and burning bright in our marriage?

Keep God at the center in your relationship and take time for affection, romance and intimacy.

Never stop flirting with your man. Make him sad to leave and excited to come home.

Date nights, getaways, pray together, encourage your spouse and make it a habit to focus on all their good not their bad.

Taking the time to explore each other. Sometimes I feel like romance is another chore, and that reflects on my marriage. When we were dating we studied each other and tried to know the other person. I feel that we should do that often.

Be rested enough to have more sex.

(8) What is one goal you have for your marriage in 2012?

To live another year- ha/ha- living out God's will for our lives until He calls us home.

To keep lines of communication open and healthy. To keep a sense of humor.

Devotional time together, more meaningful family times

Continue to fellowship with other believers as a couple. Intentionally make special times for just the two of us.

To look for the ways that ONLY I can be His wife!! Others could make his meals or clean his home or talk nice to him at work, but find those areas only I can do for him!

Meet couples that live a Christ centered life that can be an inspiration.

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Want to take the marriage survey too?

www.surveymonkey.com/s/SWKGC6B  

It is anonymous which allows you the freedom to be completely honest. It will give great insight into your marriage too! 

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Can I plan a night where I sit down with pen and pad in hand (or laptop :) and jot down my intentional plan for 2012. How do I plan to implement change into my marriage to better reflect who HE is? Do I have someone to hold me accountable? If not I need to seek His face, in prayer, to direct me to a friend who will.                       

Pray that this the year you become INTENTIONAL in your marriage. Ask the Lord to create in you a clean heart and a steadfast spirit as you seek to please both Christ and your husband in 2012.

Travel

Isn’t it amazing how we move around our world?

Yesterday I spoke with a girl at Greg’s office.  I asked her where her friend was and she said, “Liberia!” And today, our middle prince will fly back to Virginia for his second semester of college.

I have a friend who left on a cruise yesterday.  For pleasure.  Not even a destination, just to go and get some much needed rest and relaxation.

I often think if someone from Bible times showed up on my front door step and I “drove” the eleven miles to church what they would think.  Or for that matter, what my grandfather (who has been dead 36 years) would say if he could see the spaghetti bowl of roads I live in.

On July 9, 2009 our youngest and I boarded a plan for a non-stop flight to her beloved birthplace.  The trip (other than our excitement) was both uneventful and typical. The pilot came on announcing we would land in 20 minutes.  We were only 60 miles from Myrtle Beach.  Hope and I did our best to lean toward the window and try to recognize some landmark, body of water or road system through the twinkling night sky.

As we meandered closer to our destination, we began to see the hotels on the beach we remembered from years of calling Myrtle Beach home.  As we made our descent to touch down and were bracing ourselves to be the first to squeal, “We’re here!”  We saw the neon sign, “Welcome to Myrtle Beach” scripted across the terminal.  I felt I could even make out my in-laws figures ready to barrel through the gates to hug us.

However, our plane began an abrupt nose-up, take off pattern.  In fact, we did begin to head right back into the darkened sky we had just left.

Even at 11 years old, our daughter turned to me to ask, “What’s He doing?” (It was interesting she assumed the pilot was a man?!?) “Where are we going?”  “What’s going on?”

It was almost like a dream.  As I looked back I saw the passengers faces of concern, yet I could hear them asking the same questions I just heard my daughter ask.

We waited for explanation from our trusted pilot or at least the flight staff.  However, there was no word.

We apparently regained altitude, repeated the exact flight pattern and landed shortly after that first attempt.  Upon arrival, we heard the canned intercom announcement, “Welcome to Myrtle Beach, the current time is 10:18 and the temperature is a lovely 76 degrees.” No explanation, no apology, no nothing!   As if two attempts are normal…

As I passed in front of the cockpit, there was the normal push and shove of the passengers behind us who were anxious to get off.  The two flight attendants were involved in a discussion of the next boarding passengers. I tried to find a polite moment to ask, “Hey, could anyone explain to me what just happened?”  However, the shoving from the back pushed me to disembark without an answer.

Now almost three years later, I am still left wondering, “what just happened?” “what really happened.”  Of course there are many explanations from the nervous passengers on that flight and intelligent former pilot friends, but the truth is, I will never know.

During that particular visit, I mulled over that experience.  Resigned to the fact I will never know, I found the spiritual lesson I have gone back to many times in the past three years.

Life like that flight can be predictable – hustling to board, speaking to those you are sitting near, buying unhealthy expensive snacks, but there are circumstances in our lives, in our parenting, in our marriages, in our relationships that are not predictable and we will never understand.

God may choose not to reveal why we are experiencing what we are experiencing.

As the pilot – we will have to trust Him.  There is a plan for His glory.  Our circumstances have been sifted through His hands and He knows what is for our best interest.

Proverbs 19: 21 says, “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

Today as you experience “travel” (caring for the little ones the Lord has entrusted to you) consider: we may never understand the maneuvers or coordinates, but we can trust Our Precious Heavenly Father is working out a travel pattern that far exceeds our greatest expectations!

Body Challange

Last week in my blog Bloom Where You Are Planted I mentioned 3 questions that Elizabeth George asks herself to stay on course, one was, Am I properly fueling my body with sleep, nutrition and exercise for maximum results? When I asked myself this question the answer was yes. Most nights I do get plenty of sleep. I am a night person though and I like the quiet, distraction free calm that comes with the night in my house. So that environment mixed with a good book can lead to a late night, but that is only occasionally. I think my nutrition is average; over the holidays I ate a few more sweets than normal but who doesn’t. I also exercise 4 to 5 times a week. Looking at the question a little differently I asked myself, are you taking care of your body the best you can so that you can best serve your God and your family; and the answer to that was no.

I don’t know if this is true for all moms but I know it is for some of us, we take care of ourselves last. I have had some headaches and some other stuff going on for about 3 years. I went to the doctor at first when it had gotten really bad, he told me it was allergies and I would probably have to just take medicine all the time. So I did what he said and there was some improvement but there was still a lot of discomfort and days where I was useless. Now 3 years later, still no improvement, and I ask myself this question… of course I am not taking care of myself the best I can. There has always been some excuse for not dealing with it but now I feel very convicted that I need to do my best to get some help.

This was the first time I ever realized that my own personal neglect was keeping me from what God has for me. Keeping me from being the mom and wife I am supposed to be. Keeping me from being able to put everything I have into all the areas God has called me to because I don’t feel good so much of the time. I honestly don’t even think I thought of it as personal neglect, I thought of it as serving, putting others first. There is always so much to do and so many people to take care of in our family of six. There is also the problem of not wanting to inconvenience my husband or the kids with my own appointments, as if I do not inconvenience them by being shut up in my room with a headache. Why it took me so long to get that, I don’t know. But asking myself that question was what I needed to push me to do something.

We used to have this old Buick and it would make this funny noise when it started like it was struggling to start. Then after awhile we had to lift the hood and hit a certain spot with a hammer to get it started each time, then it finally just wouldn’t start and we had to take it to the mechanic. That is what I have done with my body. I am past the funny noise part, now I have to hit it with a hammer to get it going.

God gave us a body to take care of, a body that He wants to use for His good to serve others. Are you taking care of your body to the best of your ability? Do you treat your body like most of us treat our cars and not take it to the doctor until it is REALLY broken?

Being the best mom you can be starts with taking care of yourself; mind, body, and heart. This week be honest with yourself, are you taking care of your body the best you can. If not what can you do to change that? Where can you start? Is it eating better, sleeping more (which may not be an option if you have little ones), getting some exercise or making a doctors appointment for a long overdue checkup? Whatever it is I challenge you to take a step and do at least one thing on that list this week.

I think some of us assume we are being selfish when we take time to do things for ourselves like a doctor appointment or an hour of exercise, when really, we are being selfish if we do not take care of ourselves. My husband appreciates that I take care of my body with exercise and nutrition; he would also like it if I took care of more of the fine-tuning like why I have headaches all the time. My kids want me to be around for them as they grow up, not to mention what an example it is to our kids for them to see us exercise and eat healthy.

“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

In context this verse is speaking of sexual immorality, that it is a sin against your own body. That of course is not what I am talking about here but couldn’t the same apply that we need to honor God with our bodies, we need to take care of the temple of the Holy Spirit the best we can. I have devoted my life to serving Christ, each morning I wake and read Romans 12:1, “Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship.” I don’t know about you but I want to offer God the best I can. Some days that may be praying in bed with a headache but maybe not if I do the best to take care of my body.

I know that our lives can get so busy there doesn’t seem to be time for exercise, healthy eating or appointments. I remember getting so frustrated when after each baby I would try to start an exercise routine and it never seemed to work, somebody always needed me. If that is the case for you I understand. What I had to do is forget the “routine” and just get the exercise where I could, but I was intentional in figuring that out: a walk with the kids, chasing them around the yard, a workout video with the older kids why the baby napped. It may not of been an hour and it was definitely not routine, but something was better than nothing. I am simply encouraging you to do the best you can do, not what someone else does. For you that could just mean cutting dessert except for once a week or evening snack. I don’t know what taking better care of your body looks like for you but God does, go to Him in prayer and ask for his help and his guidance then listen and obey.