The Gift of an Ordinary Day

A friend of mine posted this video, "The gift of an ordinary day" by Katrina Kenison last week. Even though it is a few years old, I had never seen it. However, it has been on my mind ever since.

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. - James 4:13-14 

Life is short. I encourage you to watch this video and to make everyday count. Live, Laugh and Love with your children EVERYDAY!

YouTube: http://youtu.be/olSyCLJU3O0

Guard Your Mouth

I posted this blog a few months ago...yet its words came creaping into my mind earlier this week. I knew God was gently reminidng me that I needed to hear this...and share it...again..

A little while ago I witnessed quite a scene. I was picking up my oldest Doodlebug from Vacation Bible School, and I was waiting for his class to come back from the Creation Museum. As I was waiting, I received an important phone call that required my full attention. Just about the same time, a mom walked out with her preschool age son who was throwing a full-fledged fit. I mean he was letting his mom have it. She remained calm, while trying to lovingly, yet firmly correct him; but he wanted no part of it—he was intent on having his way.

To be honest, I don’t know why this little boy was having such a tantrum in the hallway at church—completely oblivious to the world around him. His mom saw that I was on the phone, yet she looked at me with pleading eyes. Completely exasperated, she looked at me and said, “See, this is what I have been talking about at Mom-to-Mom.”

To be honest, I didn't know what she was talking about. I attend Mom-to-Mom, but we are not assigned to the same table for discussions. BUT, my heart felt for her. I am sure she expected me to give her some type of advice—advice that she had probably already heard before. However, I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to simply encourage her. S

he was obviously embarrassed by her son’s behavior, and she was managing the situation as best as she could at that moment. But, she still felt bad that her son was causing such a raucous in the hallway…and while I was on the phone.

In light of all that, I simply looked at her and whispered, “It’s OK. You are a good mom and YOU ARE doing a great job!” You can tell she didn’t expect me to say just that. She looked at me with a look that almost melted my heart, a look that I myself have given at times when mommyhood just left me scratching my head—when I had given my best Mom effort, but still felt lacking. She replied sincerely, “Thank you! THAT (emphasis added) is exactly what I needed to hear.” She smiled lovingly, and she and her son walked away.

Ladies, before kids I would have been the first one to pass judgment on a situation like that. I was loaded with ammo about what I would say if I were that mom, and how would get that kid back in line. (It is my experience that we say a lot of things before we have kids..and we end up reanalyzing later.)

Yet, two kids later with one on the way, I have still been tempted at times to give advice before filtering it through the Holy Spirit. Before I speak to another mom about her kids, I need to ask myself if this is the right time and place; am I communicating my heart in love?

Often times we need to use the double gate God has given us to keep our tongues in check—lips and teeth. Sometimes, I need to just clench my teeth, say a prayer, and walk away. At other times, I should speak up and speak the truth in love. Ladies, let’s encourage one another, and let us offer advice—or withhold it—in a loving and timely fashion.

Prayer:

Lord, you know as women we have so much to say. You have made us wonderfully complex and full of so much emotion. Help us to channel our words, actions, and even our thoughts through you first. Help us to accurately reflect your truth and your grace. Help us encourage each other on to good works as we raise our children to love you.

In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Passage to consider: Job 16:1-5 (NLT)

Job’s response to his friends after they offered their unsolicited advice:

1 Then Job spoke again: 2 "I have heard all this before. What miserable comforters you are! 3 Won't you ever stop your flow of foolish words? What have I said that makes you speak so endlessly? 4 I could say the same things if you were in my place. I could spout off my criticisms against you and shake my head at you. 5 But that's not what I would do. I would speak in a way that helps you. I would try to take away your grief."

His Mercies

Because of the Lord's great love

we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning; 

great is your faithfulness.

-Lamentations 3:22-23

As a mom, it is easy to get overwhelmed with the craziness of one day and allow it to flow into the next. We can get up replaying, in our minds, the day before and fretting it happening again. But God reminds us in His word that his compassions never fail and His mercy is new every morning. 

I want to be a mom that each day offers afresh new mercy, to my children, just as my heavenly father does for me. It takes effort to let go of yesterdays madness and look forward with excitement to a NEW day. But what joy there is as we let go and let God do a work in our hearts. It sure is refreshing, isn't it?

Have you had a rough day, week, month or year with your child? 

Ask for a fresh anointing of the Holy Spirit today and look forward, with excitement, as HE gives you new mercy to pour afresh on your little one.

Learning Lessons the Hard Way

No discipline

seems pleasant at the time,

 but painful.

 Later on, however, 

it produces a harvest 

of righteousness and peace 

for those who 

have been trained by it. 

- Hebrews 12:11

It was a week ago that I shared the happy news that our family moved over to beautiful Naples, Florida. We are loving it here. The house (even though I thought it was too small at first), the neighborhood, the new friends, the parks, the beaches, and many other reasons as well. 

My husband and I have adjusted quite well, but my boys have been acting out as they are getting acclimated to our new life. It has been trying and I have cried, many days feeling helpless. It has been draining to see my son try my patience as he has disobeyed, what seems like, everything I say. Many times my emotions got the best of me and I said things that I later apologized for. 

A few days ago I got it: REVELATION from the LORD. I have a choice each moment in my parenting frustration. Either I can speak out in the midst of my raw emotion with frustration or choose to pause, breath, and reach out to pray with and for my child. 

I decided that I would allow moments of frustration in parenting to be an opportunity for prayer with my child. I want my children to look back and think about how their mom prayed in times of crazy instead of remembering me yelling  out about the disappointment. This revelation was an eye opener and one I pray you will try as well. 

Pray with your kids. On those days you are feeling overwhelmed as your kids try you at every level...stop and pray with them. Let them see you vulnerable and asking Christ for help. 

Allow trials (as exhausting as they may be) during your day to bring you to your knees, together, with your little ones and allow them to see your dependence on the One who gives you supernatural mommy strength. Pray out loud and praise Him for your kids (that drive you to a closer relationship with the Savior).

What is Jesus saying to you through this blog?

What do you think the Lord wants you to do about it?

Dress shopping...Perseverance or Compromise?

         This weeks parenting dilemma was the temptation to compromise.  Our youngest will be going into high school in the fall.  Apparently the new wave of activity for an eighth grader is a foreshadowing of their senior year in high school. 

         Our daughter is in need of an entire new wardrobe to have her ready for all the upcoming activities.  Specifically dresses.  You may not be experiencing dress shopping with your teenage daughter, but if you are, you are aware that the style has returned to “short.”  By our standards this “new short” is “too short.”

         I have spent the last week shopping alone.  I was buying dresses each day and then having our daughter try them on.  I have returned every dress I thought would look perfect on our daughter. This all culminated by finally taking her shopping to make the selection herself.

         At the third store, our daughter was absolutely done with not finding a dress she liked or with me telling her the dresses were too short.  I too, was so done with being the "stick in the mud." I felt very tempted to just “give in.”  It seemed impossible to find a dress that she liked that met our standard of acceptable.

Google Image

         As the breaking point approached, our daughter “ran into” one of her newest friends and her mom.  What a relief to see they too where struggling over the same dilemma!  The relief wasn’t that they were struggling, but rather this was not unique to us.

         It was a blessing to watch the girls encourage one another to find the appropriate, modest AND “cool” dresses.  As we prayed on the way to school this morning, I thanked the Lord for directing us to the dress He knew our daughter would wear today.  I thanked Him I hadn’t given in or given up in our search for the right choice.

         Too often it is easier to give in to our kids wants.  It is easier to compromise than to persevere. 

Be conscientious about how you live and what you teach. Persevere in this, because by doing so you will save both yourself and those who listen to you. I Timothy 4:16 NET

Father, Thank you that you care about our decisions. Please be with each mom who will read this blog.  Help them not to grow weary while doing good. Help them as they parent each of their children.  Help them not to give up.  Help them to follow you and direct their children to follow you too! Give us the strength and wisdom to choose perseverance over compromise.  In the sweet name of our Lord Jesus, amen.

To Love

I was in the bathroom getting ready for my day when my oldest son plopped down on the toilet seat and very loudly declared that there was nothing in this house to eat.  All I could do was stare at him.  My mouth was probably open a bit in my shock because we had just been to the store where he had picked out several things he wanted for breakfast.  I reminded him of this but this was not the real problem.  The real problem was that he didn’t want any of those things for breakfast.  He wanted me to make him a big omelette like I had made him the day before. 

I sent him on his way letting him know there would be no omelette today it was an easy breakfast day.  He stomped off with such an attitude that he left a trail of it behind him and I think some of it blew up on me.  After he left I had an internal dialog going about how ungrateful he was and how he complained no matter what food I put in front of him unless it was pizza, of course.  And lets not forget that he doesn’t even say thanks mom for all the different choices he has for breakfast or that I clean up most of his mess when he eats all those things.  Oh, girl I was on a roll. 

But something in me stopped and thought.  Before I even had children I knew there would be messes to clean up and attitudes to deal with.  If my own attitude as a child were any sign of what was in store for me with my own kids then I most certainly knew there would be challenges.  But knowing all this I still wanted children.  I wanted them badly.  I wanted them because I wanted to love them. 

I forget that sometimes.  I forget that I wanted children so I could love them.  I didn’t care about the inconveniences or the challenges; I just wanted to love them.  I wanted to hold them and cuddle them.  Clean up their scrapped knees and see their faces light up at a huge stack of pancakes with strawberries and whip cream on the top.  I wanted to watch them grow and teach them about the love of Jesus.  There were so many ways that I wanted to love them.  There are still so many ways that I want to love them and I do not want to be distracted by all of those challenges and inconveniences.  I want to love them through those with an attitude and a heart that reflects Jesus. 

As I pondered this place my thoughts had taken me it turned into a prayer.  A prayer that went from me crying out to God, to God whispering back to me, “You know… I made you because I wanted to love you.”  And the flood gates where opened.  What a sweet, sweet reminder that was, I was made because God wanted to love me. 

 

“We love because he first loved us.”  1 John 4:19

 

Oh friend, no matter what your day has looked like or what it has in store for you, remember that God made you because He wants to love you.  Some of us are harder to love than others but He is up to the challenge.  He simply wants to love us and oh, how He loves.  It is a beautiful thing to be loved by God and to be lost in that love.

 

Heavenly Father, thank you so much for loving me.  You made me because you wanted  to love me.  Let that resonate in my heart today.  Let it bubble up inside of me and spill over.  Let me be a reflection of your love to my children and those around me.  Help me not to forget that I too had my children because I wanted to love them.  Help me to be intentional today in showing them that love.  

 

Freedom is Letting Go!

I have two teenagers.  Whenever I tell people this they give me the same sympathetic look.  They say things like "Oh I remember those days" or "Don't worry they eventually realize you were never the enemy".  I'm sure that if you have teenagers you get similar reactions.  I see this as a "worldly" perspective.  However, it's Christians and non-Christians alike giving me these kinds reactions. I believe one of the main problems is that we as Christian parents are unable or unwilling  to release control of our teenagers to the Lord at the necessary times.  "Release" yes can be a frightening word. Yet it is what our teenagers need to grow.  I listened to a podcast recently where the preacher stated that "People do best when they feel loved and free."  Think about it.  As a Christian parent you have prayed over, poured into and provided opportunities for your children to know God through Jesus Christ.  To grow in their relationship with the Lord and as young people in the society which they live in. While they are still under your roof as teenagers, the best thing you can do is "let the leash out a bit" and trust in their relationship with the Lord.  They know whats right and wrong.  They will make mistakes along the way but at least you are there to help them navigate through them.  Let me bring this "close to home".

My son Samuel is 17 years old.  It was time to "encourage" him to get a job.  He recently applied for a position. Good news, Yes! He got hired.  There are still many steps he needs to take before he actually starts working.  Here's where release of control comes in and trusting in his relationship with God. He has been waiting on a return call from Human Resources.  He can not start working until he gets further instruction.  He has been waiting 4 days. If it were me, I would be calling the woman everyday until she called me back. A few days ago, I suggested to Samuel to call her again and he assured me that he had a plan in place.  Being the Mom I want to control the situation.  I think I know best. Instead, I felt the Holy Spirit pull me back. God is so good.  Instead of "encouraging" him in how I think he should handle it (my way) I prayed.  I told the Lord that I trust His will for Sam's life.  I also told Him that I trust His relationship with Sam.  Therefore, I prayed that if it was the Lord's will that Samuel call the woman today and asked the Holy Spirit to prompt him.  I let it go and chose not to think about it again.  Freedom in letting go!  With no prompting from me (truthfully I forgot all about it), Samuel told me today that he called the woman again!  I was instantly reminded of my prayer earlier to trust the Lord in and through Sam.

It's hard because we want the best for our children.  The mistake is when we think we "always" know what the "best" is.   Godly mom, if you have been investing in your children as you should with His word, prayer, and being a good listener, then trust their relationship with the Lord and let Him work.

My prayer for you today is that you begin to practice letting go of control and letting the Holy Spirit do what he does best.  Not only for your teenagers but for you.  Freedom in letting go.  Praise the Lord!

Deuteronomy 6:5-9 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lieu get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Then write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates."

Matthew 22:37 "Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

Proverbs 22:6 "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

Philippians 1:6 "Being confident of this, that HE who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."


2 Corinthians 3:17 "Now the Lord is Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."