"You Knew I Could" By Fran Maynard

I’ve been sick, with the flu, so I was going to see if someone else could write for me but after being encouraged by a friend, I decided to write what’s been going on in our home lately.  I figured someone other than myself might need to hear it too...

We seemed to be in a season where we were watching our son struggle.  Where our hearts ached wanting to do anything to fix it for him.  Training, disciplining, loving, correcting, praying and so forth.  However, to no avail, the behavior was still a struggle.    

He is only 6 so the behavior he struggles with are minimal, but for us to watch our son display less then godly character to his siblings and his family saddens us.  It’s not just the ordinary brother sister rivalry but something a parent senses when there is a deeper heart issue going on.  

So, in my time of sickness and quiet I had time to pray and listen.  I had time to ask the Lord how to get through to this boy who was hurting.  So that day when he got home from school I took him aside and told him that I loved him very much and that he was going to get through this.  I explained mommy was going to be consistent about disciplining him for his poor choices but that I knew Jesus was going to help him make positive ones.  I told him with the help of Jesus we were going to get him back on track no matter what and that we were in this together. 

Ladies please don’t miss this.  The next day, I watched my son interact playfully with his siblings, something he’d been struggling to do lately.  That evening with a smile on his face he said to me “Mommy you helped me do this, you knew I could”!  Both in tears we prayed together and thanked Jesus for this victory.  

Is your child struggling with something?  Maybe it's time to ask the Lord if your child needs your assistance?  The result may be priceless!

Lord Jesus please help us be students of our children.  Help us listen to them and have wisdom to know when our children need us and when they need to work through something on their own.  Thank you Lord for this wonderful job called motherhood, please help us to do it the way you intended!  Amen 

One Size doesn't Fit All...

        I was a relatively easy child to raise.  I remember wanting to please my parents.  I hated when I had disappointed them and can only remember a few occasions choosing to blatantly be disobedient.

         However I remember my most horrific school experience with so many emotions. The situation is best recreated through the words of my first grade teacher, Mrs. Gregory.

October 12, 1970

Dear Mrs. Bryant,

Joan was reported for turning a flip in the girls toilet today.  I thought

You’d like to know so that you could reemphasize to her the

Danger involved here.

I have talked to her and I do not think she will ever

Do such a thing again; but I shall appreciate

Your talking with her too.

Thank you,

Mrs. Gregory

(please sign and return. Just so that I can tell that you received this.)

P. S. I did not “keep her in” for this.  I told the class

That her mother would talk to to her instead.

         As mentioned earlier, my personality caused me HUGE remorse for this awful blunder.  As I presented this hand written index card to my mother, I was shocked at her response.  She began to laugh uncontrollably.  As I sobbed and mourned my life already imagining my life behind bars, I couldn’t process my mom’s absolute hysterics over my error.

         Moms, my Mom knows me best.  She knew there was not evil intent in my attempt to do a cartwheel. Yes, I had broken a rule, but it certainly wasn’t worth calling in the squadron on her barely seven year old darling.  

         My mom didn’t return the index card (which obviously I am blessed to still possess.)  Rather she wrote a letter to Mrs. Gregory saying she had received it and had dealt with me appropriately.  She actually sent this little keepsake to her aunt (next week I will give you her response.)

         Moms we need to be a student of each of our children. We need to know what correction best suits the offense.  This means each child may receive a different correction or consequence for the choices they make.  There isn't a single response for every offense.  God wants to reveal how to parent each of our children.  We can call on Him and He will show us how to appropriately correct and encourage our children.

II Samuel 24: 14  “David said to Gad, “ I am in deep distress.  Let us fall into the hands of the Lord, for His mercy is great; but do not let me fall into the hands of men.”

Applying Scripture in Daily Instruction and Discipline

Recently, I blogged about a goal I had set for myself to incorporate Scripture into my daily discipline, praise, and instruction of my girls. I love this challenge, and have been working to add and apply different verses as situations arise with my girls. My prayer is that hearing the Word of the Lord spoken to them consistently in correction and praise will really allow them to remember and apply God's Word. Kate encouraged me to put them into a list to share, and today, I would like to share some of the verses the Lord has placed on my heart as they relate to challenges and triumphs we face on a daily basis with our kids.

When I taught Kindergartners, I would get their attention by saying, "God's eyes search the earth looking for a heart that loves Him. Right now my eyes are searching the classroom looking for obedient students who are... sitting up straight, have self controlled hands, making eye contact, etc. " This took a portion of 2 Chronicles 16:19 and applied it to the desired behavior asked of the students.

Similarly, when Selah shares with Susie (a task she frequently finds frustrating), I have been praising her using 2 Corinthians 9:7 saying, “You did a great job sharing! God loves a cheerful giver!” Another example would be applying Hebrews 13:16 in instances of obedience saying, “That was a good choice to be obedient the first time Mommy asked you to ____. It pleases the Lord when you obey Mommy and Daddy.” You can also reverse that to say "It does not please the Lord when you disobey."

The following are verses that have been placed on my heart. I pray they will inspire you in your daily instruction and discipline of your children.

Sharing-

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:7

And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. Hebrews 13:16
(God is pleased when you do good and share.)

Disobedience-

If you love Me, keep My commandments. John 14:15
(You show Jesus you love Him when you choose to be obedient.)

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Ephesians 6:1
(God tells us first time obedience is the right choice.)

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Colossians 3:20

…“Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.” Luke 11:28
(God blesses those who are obedient.)

Whoever scorns instruction will pay for it, but whoever respects a command will be rewarded. Proverbs 13:13

Self-Control-

because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:20
(I understand you feel angry, but when you react like that it does not show the righteous character God desires for you.)

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

Whoever has no rule over his own spirit, is like a city broken down without walls. Proverbs 25:28
(A great visual when talking to your children about lack of self-control.)

Patience-

The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Ecclesiastes 7:8

Love is patient and kind. 1 Corinthians 13:4
(Love is patient and kind. Were you being very loving just now?)


Loving-

Love does no harm to a neighbor. Romans 13:10

Love your neighbor as yourself. (several references inc.: Mark 12:33, Luke 10:27, Gal. 5:14)
(Were you loving your brother/sister/etc. the way you would want to be loved?)


Gentleness-

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2
(When your brother/sister/friend is having a hard time, God wants you to be humble and gentle, and show him/her love.)

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Philippians 4:5

Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4
(God is very pleased when you have a gentle and quiet spirit.)


Words-

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
(Do you think the words that just came out of your mouth and the feelings in your heart are pleasing to God right now?)

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 16:24

keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies. Psalm 34:13
(John 8:44 is also a strong reference for dealing with telling lies, as it refers to Satan as the 'father of all lies')

Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23
(If you would have guarded your mouth and chosen not to say that, do you think you would have had a consequence?)

A lying tongue hates those it hurts… Proverbs 26:28
(It hurt ____ when you told that lie. The Bible says a lying tongue hates those it hurts. Do you want to hurt ___'s feelings? Do you want them to think you hate them? What can you say/do to help heal the hurt your words caused?)


Attitude-

For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him. 2 Chronicles 16:19

These verses have been a great starting place for me, and I pray you are blessed by them as well. Whatever method you use to introduce Scripture into the daily lives of your children is a wonderful opportunity to utilize the wisdom the Lord gives to us through His Word. My prayer is that we will raise up a generation of disciples that love the Lord with their whole hearts, souls, minds, and strength. This is just the beginning of helping them learn to hide God's Word in their hearts.

Prayer-Father, I thank you for Your Word. May it be a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. Please help me to hide it in my heart that I may speak wisdom to my children, teaching them to understand, love, and obey Your commands. Please bring the perfect verse to mind for every instance of correction and praise that arises throughout our day today and in the days that follow. Please place the love and knowledge of and thirst for Your Word on my children's hearts and minds. I pray that You would guide my words that I would not discipline in anger, but reflect Your understanding, mercy, and grace as I correct my children. I love you Lord and continue to seek Your guidance in this great responsibility You have blessed me with. Thank you Father for the gift of my children. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.