Santa to Circumcision

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6 (NIV)

“Mom, tell me the truth, is Santa real?” “Mom, what is circumcision?” Ahhhh…. do your kids ever ask you questions that make you want to take a time out and collect your thoughts. This was my week. Santa to circumcision. First, my son wants the truth, is Santa real? Then we are doing our morning Bible study and it is talking about circumcision. Usually we just can kind of glide over those things and he never asks a thing, but as of late he has started paying more attention. So I am calmly explaining to him what circumcision is, I say the word penis and my oldest daughter can barely stand it because last year during Bible study she asked the question, “mom, what does that mean, to make love.” So anytime the word penis is said she is totally grossed out. (I tell you what; these Bible studies are bringing up some questions and not always the ones I am hoping for.) So my daughter is grossed out and my son can’t believe I would do that to his penis even though I explained that the doctor did it, not me. Parenting can be quite the adventure.



You will find it in marriage books, parenting books, and leadership books; we have to learn to respond rather than to react. These two words respond and react are words that are commonly used interchangeably, but just say them a few times to yourself, listen and see if you hear a difference in there meanings. Respond… React … Respond … React… Respond…React.

When I was looking these words up in the dictionary react was a word that kind of had a negative undertone. It was an act in response to something, to oppose a force or influence. I thought of a firefighter who is trained so that their reactions to certain situations are their first instinct. That didn’t sound like a negative thing to me but I could think of some reactions that did sound negative. Like when watching two children playing, they are having fun rough housing but then one accidentally gets hurt and their reaction is anger and they are not having fun anymore they are trying to hurt the other person. Or in an argument between a husband and wife, the husband sweetly leans into his wife for a good night kiss, lays his hand on her thigh and slowly moves it up and she reacts by pulling away, saying “that’s all you ever want from me.” All these reactions are instinctual reactions that are not thought through.

To respond is different. When I looked respond up in the dictionary it had more of a positive connotation. It was to reply or answer, to have a favorable reaction. In the situation between the husband and the wife what would have changed if the wife had responded instead of reacted? Responding seems to imply that there is some kind of thought and that it is not just instinctual. If the wife would have thought instead of reacted she would have realized, “no this is not all he ever wants from me, he wants me to cook him dinner, wash his clothes, pick up his messes.” This is not texting so it is probably inappropriate for me to type lol, but I am laughing out loud right now because I am just kidding. As true as all those things are none of them are probably “all” this woman’s husband “ever wants.” If she were to take a second to think about the man she married and that he is a man of good will towards her, who loves her she may have responded differently.

I want to go back to the firefighter and the kids. The kids are just reacting, following their instinct. But the firefighter, he has trained himself not to react but to respond. The natural instinct is to run away from a fire, but the firefighter runs into the fire. This is what we need to do, train ourselves to respond rather than react. This can be applied to all areas of life but being that this is a mom’s blog we are going to look at responding to our children instead of reacting.

This is applicable for any age or stage that are children are at. I remember nursing my first child, and other moms had warned me, I had read it in books, but the first time that baby bit down and sunk those new little teeth into my breast, I screamed and pulled her away. I reacted. The first time one of my children ripped a poopy diaper apart and smeared it all over everything during naptime. I reacted. When my son kicked a hole in the wall. I reacted.

I need training on how to respond, not react to my children. I think this can start in the little things like spilt milk. Do I get all frustrated and yell over spilt milk or do I clean it up, gently reminding my child to stay on there butt and to keep there cup at the top of their plate, realizing that they are just children and that I also have my own fair share of spills.

As a parent if we react to the little things in negative ways, what are our kids going to do when it comes to the big things? Is there any wonder why they would lie about breaking something or be afraid to ask us a question about what something means when we have reacted negatively in the little things? Learning to respond to your kids rather than react is bigger than just spilt milk, it is building a relationship with your kids where they know they can come to you with anything and you are not going to freak out.

A friend shared a story with me about her relationship with her daughter. Their alone time was in the car each afternoon when she picked her up from school and my friend could always tell by her daughter’s body language if there was a question she wasn’t going to like stirring in her daughter’s mind. So she would prepare herself not to react but to respond. On this particular day the question was about the male anatomy. The important thing here is to recognize the relationship. A mom that reacted and blew up about everything would have probably never been asked this question by their child, but this child felt very comfortable talking to her mom because her mom had a history of responding. The daughter trusted her mom. My friend told me on the inside she was freaking out but was collected on the outside and able to respond to her daughter’s question.


“Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.” Colossians 4:6 (MSG)

I have got to learn to guard my mouth (Proverbs 21:23). I need to respond in all situations instead of react. I am so thankful that my kids are so forgiving of the times I have reacted as I work with God’s help on training myself to respond. I know that as my kids get older Santa and circumcisions will seem like no big deal in comparison to the questions they will have. But I want that relationship with them where they know they are safe with me. That I won’t freak out, laugh at them or put them down, but that I will be gracious and honest and that what I have to say will come from the heart and won’t simply be a reaction.

I challenge us all this week to pay better attention to what comes out of our mouths. Is it a reaction or a response? Am I building relationships with my children where they feel safe? A relationship where mom doesn’t yell over the proverbial spilt milk but instead can respond from the heart?

Lord, I pray that you will work in the hearts of each one of us. That you will clean out the junk that causes us to react. Your word says that out of the overflow of our hearts the mouth speaks. Let the overflow of our hearts be love, your love. I pray Lord, that you will help us to be more aware of when we are reacting to our children, help us to stop, say a prayer for guidance and move on with a response. Keep our hearts clean and pure so that our children see your light always shining through us.