Desperate Parenting

“As the deer pants for the water, oh my soul longs after you!” Psalm 42: 1

         “Desperate times call for desperate measures!”

This week as I have prayed for friends with a variance of needs, I have recognized they feel…well…desperate.

A daughter, desperate for her father’s life.

An Aunt, desperate for her nephew’s legal entanglement.

A mother desperate over her son’s physical and mental limitations.

Wives desperate for their aging husbands.

And mother’s desperation for wisdom and strength to direct their children.

I considered those God recorded in His Word who were desperate.

Abraham for a son.

Jacob for a blessing.

Gideon for a sign.

Esther for her people.

Jarius for His daughter.

A thief for his destiny.

         Our desperate crys are not a surprise to our Heavenly Father.  Remember, He knows the need before we ask. (Matthew 6:8)

         I believe, as The Lord sifts circumstances through His fingertips to determine what may enter our lives, He gingerly picks those that will cause desperation.  Knowing that ultimately this desperation will draw us to Him.  He is the only solution for every circumstance we face. 

         Today as we find ourselves: with a toddler who won’t listen, or take a nap or eat their food; or our elementary aged child who refuses to obey our instructions; or our secondary child who is running with the wrong influences or our adult children who want to live without considering the consequences, we can recognize God has placed desperation in our hearts so we will seek Him alone.

         Just as Abraham knew “they” would return from the altar of sacrifice, as parents we can be quite sure God has orchestrated our lives and those of our children to fully rely on Him!  May our desperation be satisfied in Christ as our only solution!

Mundane Moms

Judges 6:11

“Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress…”

         I cannot begin to describe how wonderful it has been to have my parents with us since the first days of the new year.  I’m happy they are out of the snow and cold and enjoying our version of “winter” here in South Florida.   I am happy they are away from their many volunteer responsibilities (although they have volunteered with my work details from home!) 

         I have enjoyed watching them “join” my world.  Whether jumping in as we carpool our daughter to school, attending our church, fixing or cleaning up meals or having coffee in the morning together, having them close brings such security.

         Having my mom attend my neighborhood small group Bible study has been particularly special.  This week we looked at the often-mundane existence God has called us to.  Looking at the life of Gideon we have learned that even in his mundane circumstances there remains a symbol of God’s favor.

         As I sat this past week and looked around our circle of neighbors, my eyes fell upon my mom. My eyes saw her, my ears heard her, but my heart was stirred with memories.

         I would not be able to count the amount of lunch bags and boxes she packed between four children.  I will never know the countless hours she has spent driving my three brothers and myself to sporting practices and games.  I know she has spent hours turned to weeks and then months of washing, drying, folding, ironing and putting our clothes away.  All those mundane tasks she did without complaining.

         Yet, she left me “feeling” like she loved us.  “Feeling” she liked these mundane tasks.  “Feeling” like we mattered to her.  My mom did such a great job with the mundane; she made me desire the same.  Mom made mundane seem like a worthy, enjoyable, desirable profession.

         God doesn’t give us the mundane to make us bored or irritated or even bitter.   He gives us the mundane to challenge us not to give up.  He gives us mundane to see His faithfulness at work.

         I saw His faithfulness in my moms mundane and it made me desire the same for my life.  I pray that our children will one day say the same.

Where Art Thou Going?

“Elise where art thou going,

Upstairs to take a bath,

Legs long and lean and lanky,

Neck like a Giraffe…

OH MY GOODNESS

OH MY SOUL

There goes Elise down the hole!”

            As a child, this was the fear.  No, it didn’t make practical sense but for a two year old, a three year old, it scarred the bageebies out of me!

            It was a song a great aunt sang to my mom who in turn taught the song to me.  It was meant to be a funny song about a little girl taking a bath who is so skinny she ended up going down the drain.

At this point, Hudson doesn't have a fear of the tub!

            I remember sitting in the tub as a very small, very literal peanut thinking I just might end up being sucked down the drain.  As we pulled the plug from the tub, I remember scampering out as quickly as I could to avoid the “tornactic swirl” that was the warning that I was on the verge of death.

            I couldn’t help but think of those emotions this week as I continue to study Gideon.  Judges 8: 19, “They were my brothers, the sons of my mother! As the Lord lives, if only you had let them live, I would not kill you.”

            Gideon is starting a pattern of action based on others words and actions.

            As I mother, I have given myself grace, maybe too much grace in this area.  We will plan, then we will see.  IF the children listen, then we will do this.  It’s almost like a ping pong match.  IF something happens on their side of the table, then I will respond based on what comes at me.

            Some of that is normal and natural, but I’m thinking I’ve been erring on the side of this as always acceptable.

            As I looked at Gideon and realized sometimes I too will stop making the Lord’s directives my primary concern.  My decisions, behavior and words are based on what someone (our children) do or don’t do or say.  How did I get sucked into this drain?  How did it happen so unexpectedly?

            In studying Gideon and thinking about Elise in the tub, I’m thinking the drain represents getting “caught in the moment.”  Even logically, determining what I think is best and right, rather than consulting the Lords plan for all that I do and say. 

            Even if you don’t know the tune to the above children’s song, be assured there is a drain waiting for you.  Of more importance than that, be assured that we have a Savior who is always available to give us the appropriate words and response to every parenting scenario.

What or Who is Calling you?

Summer is calling!!

Don’t get me wrong I’m a firm believer in academics, but my heart…not so much! I’m thinking I really fit in the “unschool” category of American mommas.

            I love my babys being home, sleeping in, and eating waffles with sticky kisses that follow.  I love watching them carry a favorite book and sit in their tree houses until they figure out how to dress as the character they are reading about.  I love a peanut butter sandwich on the beach.  As you can see, I’ve got “summer fever” bad.

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            As much as I love summer, I already see endless possibilities of activities for them…and for me!  With as many summers as I have under my belt as a mom, can I share one piece of advice; make a plan for your summer with your children.  

            I am only on the third day of a new Bible study, Gideon by Priscilla Shirer.  She is making a case for Gideon’s call.  Priscilla says one reason she believes God lead her to study Gideon is to remind us of the significance of his unique calling.  As a mom with three young boys, she can certainly relate to the call we have as mothers.

           

In talking about spheres of influence 

Priscilla says…

I’m convinced that God lets me witness their cute, comical lives to give me good material in my teaching.  But without a doubt, outside of my relationship with the Lord and my husband, my sons are my highest priority, and I have been commissioned by God to be their mother.  Being a parent may seem like a commonplace human relationship, but I will not be lulled into downplaying it as ordinary.  My role as a mom is a deliberate strategy initiated by God to rear young boys into godly men.  AND I AM RESOLVED TO FUFILL THIS CALLING- to be for them what God needs me to be during this critical stage in their lives.

         

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Yes Moms, summer is calling, our friends are calling, and our kids are calling.  Don’t miss God’s call!  Don’t miss opportunities for the summer. Be the mom who has a plan and is “unschooled” enough to enjoy the unexpected.

            This is His Summer, enjoy His Call!

Judges 6: 14  The Lord turned to him and said, "Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian's hands.  Am I not sending you out?"