Praying for you, Momma

Lord, I pray for moms who are in the trenches of training up their children.  These early years can be so stretching for us as we learn how to live out the principles in the Bible in front of our kids.  

God, as Your word instructs us I pray that we would instruct our kids from Your word as it is the lamp to our feet and the light to our path.  Let the fruit of the Spirit be evident in us as we make choices to stay self-controlled during those crazy moments, that we extend love and grace and speak encouragement to our children rather than lash out in anger and frustration.  

Lord, maybe if we’ve set the bar too high for our kids to reach sometimes please help us to keep a sound mind and reach them where they are at.  Let us stop drilling them with what they should have done but rather give thanks for the things they do.  Help us to stop everything and look at them in the eyes and let them see our eyes.  May we not miss the opportunity to give a high-five or hug but also not miss when a tear needs to be wiped away or boo-boo kissed and prayed for.  Help us to be firm, wise and always seeking Your counsel upon giving correction.  Help us keep our word.  

Be glorified in our mothering.  We desire to be at Your feet asking for the way, that we should walk in it.

Flesh vs. Love

A healthy conviction set in as I read my In Touch devotional booklet, “Our human nature finds it easier and more satisfying to hold onto our anger.  But as vessels of God’s love, Christians no longer live according to the impulses of the flesh.”  Uh! I acted in the flesh the other day when a lady opened her car door RIGHT onto my car.  We had just arrived at the beach into a good parking spot when I glanced in my side mirror and watched this insane injustice!  My flesh spiked high and I made a rash decision.  It seemed all in one motion as I turned off the car, ran around the back, rose up my arms at the lady and yelled, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!??!”

For the next two days I went around telling my friends about the injustice I suffered that day.  Over and over my daughter heard the dramatic presentation of how I responded to the lady. 

The next part of my devotional notes, “Thanks to the Holy Spirit, when someone mistreates us, we can not only forgive but also show love to the person.”  The day after my incident, our pastor shared the truth in Galatians 5:16 about walking in the Spirit and not fulfilling the lusts of the flesh. 

I was obviously not walking in the Spirit that morning at the beach as told by the way I responded to the lady.  A good witness to the testimony of the Lord was totally blown away even though while I was going through it I was trying to figure out a way back to a good representation of Christ.  And then I taught my three year-old daughter how to walk in the flesh by repeatedly sharing my bad news with others.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Lord, please cover my mistakes and help me to walk in the Spirit so as to not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.  Help me to put on love each day so I would not behave rudely, not seek my own, not provoke others or myself be provoked to anger.  Help me put on humility and the shoes of the gospel of peace.  Thank You for Your forgiveness and Your grace.  In Jesus name, Amen.

"Love-Hate Relationship" by Barbara Rainey **

You love every harmful word, O you deceitful tongue.
Psalm 52:4

I had been a mom for about six years when I first began to experience significant anger. And as the pressures of parenthood increased and our older children moved into adolescence, I started getting angry more severely and more often. It was inappropriate, and it was really becoming a problem.

One Thanksgiving weekend, my 13-year-old son and I got into a raging argument about . . . something. I don’t even remember what. I just remember I couldn’t control him, and I couldn’t control me. For years, I had justified my anger by saying I was so tired and worn out every day. Now, for the first time, I realized it had gotten bigger than I was. I could justify my behavior no longer.

Dennis was a part of the solution. As we talked it over, we agreed that it would be healthy for me to go through a period of counseling. As I sought help, the Lord sensitized my heart one summer day to the words of Psalm 52. As I was reading the fourth verse—the one above—my eyes filled with tears.

Suddenly I knew that in all my years of struggling, the only thing I really hated about my anger was that I couldn’t control it. Yet in those few moments of holy conviction, I realized I needed to hate my anger simply because it was sin. Before, I had only hated what I did with it. Now, I hated it for what it was.

Perhaps you’re still rationalizing a certain harmful behavior of yours by claiming your right to it. Perhaps, if you dug a little deeper, you might even discover, like I did, that you enjoy the power and control it gives you.

If this is you, don’t you think it’s time to confess (agree with God about it) and deal with it?

Discuss
In what ways might you love your sins, even the ones that grieve you the most?

Pray
Ask God to give you the courage to confront those things about yourself that need to be dealt with.

**This devotion was taken from 

"Moments With You" 

Daily Connection for Couples 

by Barbara & Dennis Rainey

Be the Thermostat: Setting the Temperature of Your Home

My dearly loved brothers [and sisters], understand this: Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for man’s anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.” James 1:19-20

Raw emotions. Wow! They can be beautiful, but they can also be unruly…downright sinful. Jesus knew there would be times in this life where we would get angry. That is why he tells us, “In your anger, do not sin.” (Psalm 4:4; Ephesians 4:26) Jesus never said don’t get angry. There are things that should make us angry, but in our anger we should not sin. Jesus modeled righteous anger beautifully when he saw that people were turning his Father’s house (the temple) into a corrupt money exchange, he overturned those tables and chairs and stopped any and all transactions. Don’t believe me? Check out Mark 11:12-18.

However, if I am honest, my anger is not always righteous. Sometimes I am tired and I overreact. Sometimes I assume the wrong thing about my children or a friend. Sometimes I let my raw emotions get the best of me.

I was at a homeschool conference recently where a lady spoke on the importance of being the thermostat in our home, rather than being the thermometer. As you already know, the thermostat controls the temperature. On the other hand, the thermometer measures the temperature. The thermostat is proactive. The thermometer is reactive.

I have found that without a doubt, the BEST way to set the thermostat of my home is to get a head start on my kids. I NEED to wake up before they do and spend time with the Lord. I need to put my spiritual armor on just in case I need to go to battle for them or…dare I say it, against them (strong will coupled with immaturity).

In Lysa TerKeurst’s devotional, “Unglued: 60 Days of Imperfect Progress”, she addresses the difference between a reactor and a responder (similar to being the thermostat or the thermometer). She asks the reader several questions, and I am going to pass them along to you.  Ask yourself:

1. Do I want to escalate this conflict or dissipate it?
2. Do I want more trouble or more grace in my life?
3. Do I want to be known as harsh or gentle?
• A reactor/thermometer spews emotion or masters the silent treatment.
• A responder/thermostat gives a gentle answer.
4. Do I want to get me own way or help find a solution?
5. Which do I care about more—demanding my rights or displaying right choices?
• A reactor/thermometer demands her right to be right.
• A responder/thermostat is more concerned about making right choices before God.

Ladies, let’s be the thermostat of our home. Let’s follow the truth set before us in James 1: 19-20. Let us be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Let’s take time to pause and channel our response through the Holy Spirit to make sure we are acting in a way that pleases the Lord, instead of spewing words and actions that we can not take back. Let us be silent and pray before we speak.

Let’s pray:

Lord, thank you that your Word contains every thing I need for living a godly life. May I follow the truth in your word and not lean upon my own understanding. May I make right choices before you. Fill me with your Holy Spirit that I may live a life pleasing to you…that I would leave a trail of love and not destruction in my wake. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgement.” 2 Timothy 1:7

TICKED OFF

TICKED OFF

Ephesians 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you”

I was focusing on a bible study, taking in great wisdom on teaching my kids about obedience and sacrifice, when the words on the page jumped off and punched me in the chest! It read, “When involved in conflicts with friends or siblings ask your child, ‘Which one of you is going to be like Jesus and sacrifice? Do you care more about your friend or about winning the argument?”

I took a deep breath and heard the Holy Spirit’s still voice whisper, “well, what are you going to do Sheila???” My husband and I had just had a little, eh hem,  disagreement 2 days prior and I was still holding on to some of the wounds from that disagreement. Sacrifice, what a concept! How can I teach this wisdom to my kids if in my own stubbornness I have not been the one to sacrifice? I am caring more about winning the argument then my own husband!! I am being no example for the Lord. I am definitely not being an example for my kids!!

The next part of the Bible study that focused on marriage was on; yep you guessed it, conflict. I have always been a bit afraid of conflict. Coming from a long line of divorced women and seeing much conflict in my parents’ marriage made me not even want to get married. Conflict =problems=escalation in emotion=misery in my eyes and I did not want misery! She said something in that study that struck me. She said conflict is not necessarily a sign that your marriage is in trouble. It is an opportunity God is using to grow us up, make us more like Him, and bring Him glory! We need to change our mindset and stop looking at conflict as if it’s a bad thing.

James 1:2-4  “Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

What we fight about is rarely the main issue. We need to remember that if we handle conflict in our marriage properly it can produce great results and what an example we will be to our children if we hold on to this!

How are you doing in this? Has something happened in your marriage to give you the opportunity to be more like Jesus today?

*Some information courtesy of Mom's on  a Mission from Rio Vista Church