WHO'S FIRST

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me Galatians 2:20

He advised me he was going to start studying again for a promotional test. What you may be thinking is, "oh, how great! a husband who works hard to provide" and you would be absolutely right! However, what I heard was: 

I am going to be studying for 6-8 hours a day between my 24 hour shifts, I know you also work 13 hour shifts 2 days a week and we are in a busy season of 7th grade and track not to mention the 5 and 3 year old, and I also know I did this 1 year ago for a different promotion but I am doing it again!

I was not very excited about this thought at all. You see we had just done this and I knew what it would take and what sacrifices would have to be made in order to accomplish this task. I was trying to be supportive and be a "good Godly wife" but ladies my flesh got the best of me! I found myself a month and a half in to the studying tired, overwhelmed, and feeling like a single-mom of 3 and it all spilled out. I knew my husband was under immense pressure and I felt horrible after the fact. We were both able to pray and talk through it. We realized where we had both gone wrong and were able to come to a solution for the rest of the process. Though I knew I would have to make some sacrifices and die to my flesh we were able to make it through and reap the benefit of my husband passing his test!! Praise God!! and I also feel like though I got frustrated half way through I was able to pass mine. :)

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

Mom's, we pour out into our children, care for our friends, help our coworkers, and give in so many ways but we have to remember that God has placed us in a marriage that we would first serve our husbands. Be careful not to get these out of order. Also, open communication in a gentle and humble way is essential in every marriage. Pray before you speak and pray about your attitude. Where are your feelings coming from? Could they be your flesh? Be careful not to put extra stress on your marriage because you may be having a tough day. You can still communicate how you are feeling with your husband without causing damage and hurt feelings. 

Father in heaven help us to be the submissive wives you have asked us to be. Lord when we are weary give us strength. When we just don't wan't to give anymore of ourselves help us to give even more. Help us to die to ourselves and pick up our cross on a daily basis and reap the benefits here on earth and in Heaven!! In Jesus name I pray blessings on each mom and wife who reads and writes on this blog. Amen

Body of Christ Stepping In

They are always 

generous and lend freely; 

their children 

will be a blessing.

 - Psalm 37:26

Last weekend we moved over across Florida to our new home in Naples. It was a crazy chaotic time but such a beautiful experience.  Each time we move (We have moved 3 times since being married!) I am reminded of how the family of Christ exhibits such sacrifice just like Jesus. 

Some packed, some loaded the heavy into the U-Haul, some babysat my kids, some cleaned and wiped down EVERY surface and area in my home, and some prayed for us as we maneuvered through it all. We had one team loading the truck, and another team at our new home, 2 hours away, ready to unload. There were friends blessing us with "going away" gifts and then acquaintances giving us exactly what we had prayed for down to specific details. What an awesome God we serve! 

The whole experience is one my kids will always remember. They saw others serving our family because there was only so much our hands alone could do. I am humbled and grateful. I want my family to be one that looks like that. But that requires sacrifice. I can be selfish, looking out only for us at times. 

Daily, in prayer, I need to seek His face and ask that the Holy Spirit would lead my clan to serve others for Christ. My desire is that I would have eyes open wide for those opportunities and a heart ready to obey the call when it's given. It is a beautiful thing to observe and one that will be repeated by our little ones as they mimic our lives :)

How is your family doing in the area of "serving others?"

What family do you see loving God and loving others faithfully?

Pray for opportunities to serve and keep your eyes open as He will provide the way.

TICKED OFF

TICKED OFF

Ephesians 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you”

I was focusing on a bible study, taking in great wisdom on teaching my kids about obedience and sacrifice, when the words on the page jumped off and punched me in the chest! It read, “When involved in conflicts with friends or siblings ask your child, ‘Which one of you is going to be like Jesus and sacrifice? Do you care more about your friend or about winning the argument?”

I took a deep breath and heard the Holy Spirit’s still voice whisper, “well, what are you going to do Sheila???” My husband and I had just had a little, eh hem,  disagreement 2 days prior and I was still holding on to some of the wounds from that disagreement. Sacrifice, what a concept! How can I teach this wisdom to my kids if in my own stubbornness I have not been the one to sacrifice? I am caring more about winning the argument then my own husband!! I am being no example for the Lord. I am definitely not being an example for my kids!!

The next part of the Bible study that focused on marriage was on; yep you guessed it, conflict. I have always been a bit afraid of conflict. Coming from a long line of divorced women and seeing much conflict in my parents’ marriage made me not even want to get married. Conflict =problems=escalation in emotion=misery in my eyes and I did not want misery! She said something in that study that struck me. She said conflict is not necessarily a sign that your marriage is in trouble. It is an opportunity God is using to grow us up, make us more like Him, and bring Him glory! We need to change our mindset and stop looking at conflict as if it’s a bad thing.

James 1:2-4  “Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

What we fight about is rarely the main issue. We need to remember that if we handle conflict in our marriage properly it can produce great results and what an example we will be to our children if we hold on to this!

How are you doing in this? Has something happened in your marriage to give you the opportunity to be more like Jesus today?

*Some information courtesy of Mom's on  a Mission from Rio Vista Church

Invisible Mother

A few days ago I was at a mom's Bible study when the poem below was read aloud. This is a poem we, as moms, need to go back to periodically to be reminded of the "great cathedrals" we are building. Read on and be encouraged.....

Legacy: The Invisible Mother

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible - The invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more.

"Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?"

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?'

I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?'

I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' 

I'm a means to an end, "Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner,celebrating the return of a friend from England. She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe.

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

1)  No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. 

2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 

3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 

4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.'

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

"A wise woman builds her house..." - Proverbs 14:1


What is God saying to you through this blog?
What do you think He wants you to do about it?

Would You Really Die For Your Kids?

I was watching a documentary on WWII the other day, specifically on the Hiroshima atomic bomb. They were sharing survivor stories, and one in particular moved me to tears to the point I had to turn it off, pray, and catch my breath.

Immediately following the blast, a mother who had only moments before been eating breakfast with her husband and two small daughters awoke amidst smoke, rapidly approaching fires, and utter destruction. She and her severely injured husband quickly searched and could only find their oldest daughter who was trapped beneath rubble. No matter how hard they tried, they could not free her. As the fire inched closer, the mom did the unthinkable. She left her daughter and ran to safety amidst her child's cries of pain and pleas for help, all the while crying out that she "failed her daughter" and "was a horrible mother for not being able to die with her". The reenactment of the little girl crying out in pain for help as the mother cried out in anguish was too much to bear. This woman had to live the rest of her life with that moment, those cries echoing in her mind. Her husband would pass away later that day of radiation poisoning. She passed away in 2002.

I just could not help but thinking that were I in that situation, I would fling my body over my daughter and pray that death would come swiftly and she would feel me there with her in those last terrifying moments. But something in that woman just could not face that fiery death. I do not doubt her love for her children. Her anguish was real. And while we all believe with all that is in us that we would react differently, I am reminded that even Jesus who knew the pain facing Him, Jesus who loves us to an unimaginably greater degree than that overpowering love we feel for our kids, Jesus who knew this was the only way to save our lives, even He asked for a way out when faced with the impending pain and suffering.

When I put myself in that woman's place, I realize that I would want to die rather than face life without my child(ren). I would all the more want to take the pain and suffering in her/their place.

It is with that picture I enter into this holy season. Our Savior faced unfathomable pain and suffering, but He bore it for us, for me, for you. He would rather die a horrible death than face eternity without us. I pray that were I ever in the situation to make that awful choice, I would do as everything in my inner being still insists I would do and lay down my life for my loved ones, and I praise the Son of God for doing just that. Nothing brings us closer to understanding His love for us that day than the love we have for our kids. Think of what you would do, remember what He did, and let that overpowering love consume you as we celebrate and reflect this Easter season.