Hold On Loosely

I like to plan things and control things. I like things to go my way. I have the occasional bad mood simply because something did not go exactly the way I planned or expected. We got home this week from a two week vacation to our hot water heater busted and leaking all over the basement for who knows how long. That was definitely not in any plan I had. I along with the rest of my family enjoy the convenience of immediate hot water and I was not looking forward to boiling it.

I like to be prepared. I journal different things that God puts on my heart and there was a series of things that He had put on my heart that went very nicely together. So I started to write on those things. I felt all nice and cozy and comfortable about blogging because I was all prepared. Well it turns out the last two weeks God has had a plan different than mine. When I would sit down to prepare my blog, I read it over and just knew it was not what God had planned for that week. So I set it aside, prayed some more and went with what He gave me.

In those moments He is stretching me, taking me out of that comfy cozy place and teaching me to lean more on Him and less on “the plan.” As frustrating as those moments can be I actually like them. I find peace and comfort there. It reminds me that I don’t have to be in control, I don’t always have to have a plan. It reminds me of who God is and that I am here on this earth to do His will and not mine. It puts me in a spot where I am forced to be quite and just listen; a place where I find rest instead of stress.

When I first got married God used my husband to teach me to loosen up a bit. He has used my children to do the same thing. There is something about having four babies in four and a half years that makes a girl stop and say, “you know things are not going the way I planned”; there are toys everywhere, kids everywhere, life is crazy and disorganized. It makes you realize that you either loosen up or loose your mind.

Organize and plan what you can but don’t freak out when it doesn’t go your way. A 38 Special song is playing in my head right now, “Hold on loosely, but don’t let go. If you cling to tightly your gonna loose control.” That song has nothing to do with plans and expectations but those words most certainly do. I need to hold on loosely because when I cling to my plans and expectations I certainly do loose control when things don’t go my way. There is one 'mad-as-a-hornet-mama' when I cling to tightly. I don’t know about you but I sure do not like myself when that happens and I am pretty sure that no one around me likes me either.

It is our human nature to want things are own way, to control. I need those reminders that I am here to do God’s will and not my own. In my own strength, in my own understanding, in my own ways, I don’t always see what God sees or know what He knows. I have to be willing to hold loosely to what ever my plan is and trust in God. Be flexible and go with the flow of God.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

As I write my husband is gone and my kids have turned out every light in the house and are running around in the dark looking for a little ball that one of them hid. They are having a ton of fun, giggling being loud and crazy. Occasionally I hear a little cry and they all stop to comfort the injured one. Every once in awhile one of them runs into my room to give me a kiss or cuddle for a minute. It’s nice. If my crazy control freak mamma were coming out right now my kids would not be giggling and I would have missed out on some really nice hugs, kisses and cuddles. I hate to think of the things that I would miss or have missed because I have held to tightly to my own ideas, plans and expectations.

Lord, I pray that you would help me to always trust in you. Give me the strength each day to let go and give my plans to you and to be ready to change my plans for you instead of wanting you to change yours for me. I thank you Lord for the times that you remind me that you are in control and that I don’t have to be. I thank you for the strength, the peace and rest that you offer up into my life. You are my strong tower.

I encourage you today to do a little self-examination. What are you holding on to too tightly? Do you need that reminder that God is in control or that you are here to do His will, not your own? I also want to encourage you to just slow down and enjoy your children even if it is not in the plan, especially if it is not in the plan. Life is not about plans, preparation, clean houses or dirty ones, but about relationship.