Live. Learn. Pray. SHARE

Everbody sins. Everybody blows it once in a while. So, which is better? Learning from your mistakes or learning from somebody elses? I would say, both. I want to learn from my own dumb mistakes, but I don’t want to experience every bad decision for myself. I want to have the wisdom to look on at someone else’s mistake, see the consequences, and NOT make the same decision they did. I want the same thing for my children.

I am going through a new children’s bible with my oldest Doodlebug that I absolutely love. It is called the “Little Boys Bible Storybook for Mothers and Sons”. Why do I like it so much? Well for starters, it is written in plain, yet detailed language that is perfect for my little guy. It also has a note at the end of each story that helps my son apply the story to his life. This little section is called, “Becoming a Man of God”. But even better that, there is a section called, “Mom’s Touch” at the end of each story that allows me, the mom, to give a practical example from my own life.

One day after reading the story of Adam and Eve and their disobedience, the “Mom’s Touch” section said the following:

                “Ok, Mom, it’s important for your son to know that sometimes you sin. Tell him about a time when you did something wrong. Were you punished? How did you handle that punishment?

                Reinforce to your son that everybody make mistakes and bad choices. When we do, we should admit and accept the punishment that is given. We can learn from our mistakes and hopefully not make the same mistake over and over. Remind your son that God loves him not matter what—and so do you!

                A Verse to Remember: No matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can remove it. I can make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Isaiah 1:18 (NIrV)

 So…one day in particular when my little guy was really pushing my buttons (intentionally) and having a hard time with disobedience, and complaining a lot (Whew!), I told him a part own story. I told him that I gave my mom a really hard time when I was in high school. I told him that I wasn’t respectful, I wasn’t grateful, I didn’t listen very well, and the results were not very pretty. I received consequences, and I put a strain on the relationship between me and my mom (his grandma).

He was shocked! I told him that she loved me through it all, but I bet she didn’t have much fun with me. She probably felt very sad and frustrated at times. I told him that is exactly what sin does: it separates! It separates us from those we love, because sin puts a strain on the relationship.

He thought about it for a second, and made his own little demonstration with his hands to show me what separation looks like. I then told him that I would always love him, but I also want to enjoy hanging out with him…just like God wanted to enjoy fellowship with Adam & Eve in the garden. I wanted us to have fun together! In his own little way, he seemed to get the gist of what I was saying. He didn’t stop sinning altogether…of course!, but he has been more aware of his actions. He has even apologized a few times on his own for not listening the first time.

Moms, when we share our own stories with our children, we make Christ real to them. They get to see up close and personal what the Christian life looks like on a daily basis. They get to see how important it is for Mommy and Daddy to walk in obedience to Christ. The hope is that they will follow our lead and develop their own personal walk with the Lord. Mom’s, let’s strive to make the message of Christ and a surrendered life real to them. Let’s Live, Learn, Pray, and SHARE. J

The Carrot or the Stick

There is a lot of debate these days about whether schools should have treasure boxes or “blessing boxes” that contain small prizes for children who exhibit good behavior. There are strong opinions on both sides. I cannot give a psychological breakdown on the issue, but I can offer my sincere experience as a Mom coupled with the advice I receive in God’s word.

I love that the Bible is chock-full of wonderful information—I just have to seek it out and be willing to conform my life to His will. Well, recently, my husband and I were having a discussion about a reward system I had just developed for my oldest Doodlebug. I took out a clear plastic cup and explained to my little guy that whenever he listened the first time, right away, without any excuses, explanations, or “buts” I would put a cotton ball in his cup. Whenever he failed to do so, I would take one away or implement some other form of discipline. When his cup is full of cotton balls, I will take him for a “well done” type of treat—ice cream, cheeseburgers at Five Guys, a prize from Target’s dollar section, etc.

The main idea is that good behavior is rewarded. As my husband and I discussed this new reward system, we got into a little discussion about whether we should reward him for things he is just supposed to do. As we talked it out, we eventually came to the conclusion that as Ecclesiastes says, there is a season for everything under the sun. I would love for our son to obey all the time just because it feels good, and it is the right thing to do. However, we realize that because of his age, he may need to see the direct result of his actions (along with a little motivation)—through a reward or a punishment.

God is so good that he does the same thing for us. I mean really, how many people initially accept Jesus into the their heart as lord and savior because their present life is missing something (or a complete wreck) and they really want to go to heaven? It is often not until later, as we mature in our faith, that we learn to seek God’s face (presence) and not just his hand (blessings). As we mature in our faith, we understand that God knows what is best for us all the time, and that he is completely trustworthy. We also learn that obedience brings peace and produces a harvest or righteousness.

So, the carrot or the stick? I am convinced that God uses both. He lovingly and graciously rewards us both here and in the life to come. Yet, he also disciplines us when we stray or wander off course. As moms, we have no owner’s manual for our kids, but we can always look to the Bible for truth and insight. Whatever form of motivation or correction that you use, filter it through God’s word, pray for wisdom, and accept God’s peace that he made you the mother of your children…and it is OK if your parenting style is different from that of your friends.

Verses to consider:

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Hebrews 11:6

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11

“The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple…By them your servant is warned; in keeping them there is great reward.” Psalm 19:7;11

“Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.” Proverbs 19:18

“”Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.” Proverbs 20:11