WHO'S FIRST

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me Galatians 2:20

He advised me he was going to start studying again for a promotional test. What you may be thinking is, "oh, how great! a husband who works hard to provide" and you would be absolutely right! However, what I heard was: 

I am going to be studying for 6-8 hours a day between my 24 hour shifts, I know you also work 13 hour shifts 2 days a week and we are in a busy season of 7th grade and track not to mention the 5 and 3 year old, and I also know I did this 1 year ago for a different promotion but I am doing it again!

I was not very excited about this thought at all. You see we had just done this and I knew what it would take and what sacrifices would have to be made in order to accomplish this task. I was trying to be supportive and be a "good Godly wife" but ladies my flesh got the best of me! I found myself a month and a half in to the studying tired, overwhelmed, and feeling like a single-mom of 3 and it all spilled out. I knew my husband was under immense pressure and I felt horrible after the fact. We were both able to pray and talk through it. We realized where we had both gone wrong and were able to come to a solution for the rest of the process. Though I knew I would have to make some sacrifices and die to my flesh we were able to make it through and reap the benefit of my husband passing his test!! Praise God!! and I also feel like though I got frustrated half way through I was able to pass mine. :)

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

Mom's, we pour out into our children, care for our friends, help our coworkers, and give in so many ways but we have to remember that God has placed us in a marriage that we would first serve our husbands. Be careful not to get these out of order. Also, open communication in a gentle and humble way is essential in every marriage. Pray before you speak and pray about your attitude. Where are your feelings coming from? Could they be your flesh? Be careful not to put extra stress on your marriage because you may be having a tough day. You can still communicate how you are feeling with your husband without causing damage and hurt feelings. 

Father in heaven help us to be the submissive wives you have asked us to be. Lord when we are weary give us strength. When we just don't wan't to give anymore of ourselves help us to give even more. Help us to die to ourselves and pick up our cross on a daily basis and reap the benefits here on earth and in Heaven!! In Jesus name I pray blessings on each mom and wife who reads and writes on this blog. Amen

The Corner Piece

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord”. Proverbs 18:22

I am a “center gal”. I love the center piece of a brownie (yep, the one in the middle of the pan). I love the center piece of a casserole, of lasagna, etc. I think the piece with absolutely no crust in and the dead center of everything good is the best part of any dish. Because this is my favorite part, for years I would fix my husband’s plate for dinner (or whatever meal we were eating at the time) and I would give him my prized center piece. I saw it as an act of love…to give him the piece that I thought was best…the one I really wanted for myself! After several years of doing this, my husband one day asked me, “Why don’t you ever give me the corner piece? I love the corners! That is my favorite part!” What? You mean after all these years of me sacrificing my delicious center piece he really wanted the corner piece all along? I would be happy to give him that! Then he added, “I am a corner man.”

When I think about the above situation, it makes me laugh. I now gracefully devour the center piece and my husband inhales the corner pieces. :) But more importantly, I learned that day (and am still learning), how important open communication is in marriage. Sometimes we mistakenly assume we know what our husbands really want, and then we try our best to give him that. However, I ran across an excerpt from a book today that I really want to share with you. Here it goes:

Have a Meeting of the Minds with Your Husband

For years I placed unrealistic expectations on myself because I thought I knew what I needed to be a great wife to my husband. I ran myself ragged trying to keep up “the perfect wife charade.” Then one day the thought occurred to me that I had never stopped to ask my husband his definition of a good wife. His answer was so simple: ‘Take good care of the kids, exercise to stay in shape, and keep the house tidy.”
I was stunned and wondered, That’s it? Where are the 500 other things I thought I needed to be doing for you that have resided on my to- do list all these years?
He helped me see that if I did these top three things he felt very happy and well taken care of. The other things could be delegated to another family member, and he was the first to volunteer. He now does all the grocery shopping and is happy to do it.
All it took was a simple question. Try asking your husband his definition of a good wife—you might be surprised and relieved by his answer!”
Excerpt taken from Leading Women to the Heart of God by Lysa Terkeurst

Prayer:

Heavenly Father,
In your graciousness and your infinite wisdom, you made us all so wonderfully unique. We were created in your image and likeness, and we praise you for that. God please help us to be a reflection of you to each other in our marriages, and may we love you and our spouse more with each passing day. Father, please help us to communicate honestly and freely with one another, and may your grace fill in all the gaps. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Challenge: Ask your husband what his definition of a good wife is. Try your best (and pray for help) putting his ideas into practice. :)