Super Challenged...Super Encouraged

It comes in waves. There are times my son is especially challenging and then there are those moments the Lord give me glimpses of hope and encouragement as a mom seeing him being a "light." I had an epiphany the other day. As we were at t-ball practice, we saw him succeeding in a sport and feeling great as we cheered him on. It was awesome because, honestly, many days he gets into trouble and that is the memory that remains. I realized that those "challenging children" like my son are in need of tons of encouragement when they DO thrive and do well at something. Where they can feel excited about something they do well.

As a mom, I want to see my child soar and succeed out in the world. My son is only six but our challenges have felt like years more than that. Many days I have felt discouraged with my special needs child. But it is my goal to educated myself, read books, and incorporate my learning into on our family . I recently read, that with our challenges, t-ball is a good sport. It has been great! He loves it! We love it! It is a booster for everyone in our family.

So the other day, my husband took my son out in the front yard to practice hitting and he smacked the ball so hard it went flying into the neighbors yard!! We praised him! He couldn't believe it! He felt success! He was refreshed! My son couldn't wait to tell me of his hit. T-ball is a sport he can cling to and forget the other struggles in his life, momentarily!  It is something we can praise him for and remind him how the Lord has equipped him well to play this sport.

My epiphany was that as I have a challenging child, he is in need of super encouragement even more than the average child. He knows he struggles in life. But it is my duty as a parent to seek out those things he can feel successful at and give him an opportunity to thrive.

Do you have a challenging child?

What sports/activities can you involve him in that may encourage him (and you!)?

Remember to educate yourself with books that may help in the area your child struggles. I have gotten great ideas from others who have gone before me on the path that has challenges daily but...successes too!

THINK Before You Speak (Part 2)

Last week I shared with you my desire to work on taming the tongue. I am so blessed by those who have agreed to join me and pray we are successful!  In an effort to let our conversations be led by the Holy Spirit, we spent the last week working on THINKing before we speak:

I found that more often than not, I would do the THINKing after I spoke rather than before. I found myself rerunning conversations through my mind, making sure that my words honored God and going back to make it right if they did not. This is tough! So, I plan to keep working on this, realizing it's a marathon not a sprint.

This week I would like to focus on one particular topic of conversation, and that is how we speak to others about our husbands. Back when Rick and I were dating, he made a request. He asked that we not talk to any friends or family members about our arguments. It paints a bad picture of your spouse and once the anger and hurt feelings have passed, we go back to normal while the person we spoke to is left with that image of our spouse at his/her absolute worst.

We have both worked to commit to this, and have seen the fruit. With no one else to talk to, we have to talk to each other and work things out, we don't make things worse by venting and having someone agree with our one-sided version of events, and our friends and family members see us firsthand for who we are rather than who we become during those moments of an argument. Though there still may be times when we need to seek counsel from a fellow Christian, it's all in how you approach it.

 For example, here are two scenarios for seeking counsel about the same problem :

"How do you keep the romance alive in your marriage? We could really use a little boost to spice things up."
vs.
"Bob just doesn't seem interested in me any more. He never takes me out on dates. He stopped opening the car door for me ages ago, and things in the bedroom just aren't what they used to be. Just the other day, he ....."

You can see where this is going. Let's be challenged this week to THINK before we speak to others about our  spouses. Let's commit to building them up with our words and in times where we need help, take a 'less (said) is more' approach.  If you are not currently married, this same principle can be applied to how you speak of your ex or current significant other you are dating.

Our children should see us building up our spouses with our words as well, rather than mocking, tearing down, rebuking, or contradicting them. If a disagreement/discussion is to be had, it is best to be had in private. If we want Daddy to be their hero and leader, let's speak words that follow and encourage that idea. And when we need a friend to talk to in our frustration, let's first take the problem to God in prayer, communicate directly with our spouse to resolve the issue, and if we still find a need for counsel, seek out a wise, like-minded sister and spend more time talking through the resolution and less about the problem. Amen?

I close this week with a Scripture that brings as much of a chuckle as a reality check. Thank you for joining me on this journey and challenge to honor God with our words.

Father, I confess I do not always tame my tongue and struggle in this area of my life. I want to honor You with all that I am and humbly ask for Your help. Please help me to put the principle of THINK before you speak into practice and make right any wrongs my words have caused.  I ask You to help this week as I work on how I communicate to and about my husband. May I build him up with my words rather than tear him down by mocking, contradicting, or rebuking him- especially in front of our children. Please help me to come to You, first and foremost when I need a friend to talk through our problems with. I know that You are the Wonderful Counselor, and our help and hope is in You. In times when I seek wise counsel, please guide me to a like-minded believer and help me to state the area of need in a way that does not bash or degrade my husband. Please help me to use discretion and honor You in this area. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

THINK Before You Speak (Part 1)

What a picture! Seriously, I think the tongue is the most difficult part to tame, and the one that gets us into the most trouble. There are so many verses to be found throughout Scripture warning and edifying us to control our tongues, from beautiful descriptions of wise words being likened to honeycomb or apples of gold set in silver to hasty and foolish words being compared to sword thrusts or a great forest set ablaze by a small fire. Our words have power and can set the tone for how our home is run. Consider this quote:

"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides…"
~ Goethe

I am sure we have all heard the expression, "If Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy". I have recently set my heart to consider the effects my words have on our home, our children, our marriage, and other relationships and hope to spend the next several weeks working on taming my tongue and teaching by example as I instruct my children to do the same. Being that this is such a grand undertaking, I hope to work through this endeavor by focusing on one thing at a time and really working to make this life change one that is realistic and permanent.

This week, the focus is on where it all begins, in the mind. We have all had those moments where just before the words come out of our mouths, we feel that tug in our spirit that warns us to tread carefully or not to say anything at all. The goal this week is to train our minds to listen to and for that voice and keep in tuned to it at all times. In essence T.H.I.N.K. before we speak and not ignore the Spirit within us attempting to guide our conversations.

This is a great one to post in and around your home to remind your kids what kind of speech is acceptable, especially when it comes to siblings. I am committing this to memory and working this week to make it a part of my filter before I open my mouth and pray you will be inspired to do the same. We may find ourselves silent more often, but that may not be such a bad thing... (Prov 17:28- ouch!) Let's pray!

Gracious Lord, You are the giver of life and the originator of this gift we have to communicate with our words. Please teach us to tame our tongues and use our words to bring life and edification rather than to tear down and cause destruction in our homes. This week I commit to praying for Your Holy Spirit to guide my conversations and be the filter that every thought runs through before it comes out of my mouth. Please help my words to be true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind. If they are not, please let Your voice resound in my mind as a warning to stop speaking, and may every failure be a lesson learned that brings me one step closer to my goal of self-control over my tongue. Even as I take this small step, may I see the fruit in the mood and tone of my home as well as in my relationships with others. May my husband and children be blessed to see this change and inspired to do the same. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.