Take the Time

Tonight after dinner the boys went out for some special time with Daddy. Leaving me and my five year old daughter at home getting ready for bed. As we readied our hearts to wind down for the night, I fit in some "special Mommy time." I began sharing with my girl how I have seen such a change in her heart over the past year. From year 4 to 5 I watched as she strived to fit in with the popular girl her age in our community. Watching and longing to "fit in,"  most days realizing it probably wasn't going to happen. I saw much sassiness and less humility flowing through most of her relationships. Many meltdowns when the answer was NO and dishonoring her Mommy became a constant.

As we cuddled and I stroked her wet hair, she began to weep. She expressed sorrow for the past year and how she longed to go back to being 4 years old. This opened up the door for me to share about how HIS mercies are new every morning and that our sin is what Jesus died for. How the Lord longs for us to repent and ask for forgiveness. So right there, my daughter prayed and asked Jesus to cleanse her sweet heart of the heaviness she had been struggling with. We cried and rejoiced over the newness of tomorrow leading into a new year ahead. How God longs to restore brokenness. I am so grateful I had tonight with her. 

Many days are so busy and we must be intentional. Each night our family's goal is to spend 10 minutes with each child individually where they pick the activity we do without interruptions of other kiddos. Undistracted time where we can play and talk together. Tonight that time was so fruitful with my girl! I am grateful for our special time. It showed me that so many behavioral struggles are deep rooted issues greater than the behavior we see manifested. That even a little five year old can hold onto hurts and reflect that in her interactions with others. I am grateful God's Truth leads us to repentance. How God redeems the ugly for something beautiful if we will just hand it over to Him.

Oh how I long for special time now with my kids. Realizing that it is impactful for them...and for me too! What special time can you carve out for your kids today? Trust me it will be a deposit that will reap amazing dividends.

Pray for Them

11 years ago the Lord started me on a long journey. I gave birth to a healthy son, who on the outside looked like every other baby, but at age six we would learn has Aspergers with a few extra challenges. As I have parented him the Lord has weaved many many lessons into my life. I have been stripped and humbled much through the ups and downs of social situations. I am constantly learning things aren't always what they seem and so much is beyond the surface. 

Every new social situation gives way for training about acceptable behaviors and trying to be Jesus as we do it. We have hurt others and been hurt ourselves. Trying to find acceptance with peers while remembering to be ourselves void of nervousness. Trusting God is Sovereign even when we don't see purpose in that experience or how it was necessary to our growth.

Six months ago I watched God move. I observed part of our story...His story...unfold. There was a boy who had been so wounding with his words and actions towards my kiddos for three years. We ran in the same circles, hung out at the same places, and enjoyed similar things. At times I really hoped God would remove us from that circle. He didn't. 

But God... pressed upon my heart to have my kids pray for him, from our first struggle. We prayed many many prayers over that child, and that God would help us love well even though our hearts were hurt. Daily we prayed when encounters happened. At night we prayed as thoughts of him swirled our minds before bed. Thoughts of painful words said... as our hearts were breaking. Three years of pleading with Jesus and no results...or so we thought. 

Our pain had purpose. Six months ago after many prayers lifted we watched God move. The same little boy we had been praying for had a change of heart. God changed his heart. God answered our prayers. God moved. The little boy reached out in compassion and love towards my son who was undergoing surgery. That boy prayed for my son right before he went under. He showed that change of heart we had been praying for. WOW! Only God. God had a plan that was hidden to us. 

Jesus wanted my kids (and me too if I am totally honest) to learn how to show love and compassion to our "enemy." God showed us that HE does hear and His timing isn't always ours. The Lord gave us a glimpse into the supernatural and how we're a part of a bigger story. Hearts do change with prayer. Our heart toward our enemy and our enemy's heart towards us. Its easy to love the lovable and those who treat you well, but love and forgiveness lived out IS the GOSPEL. 

God sees. Struggles are real, Jesus is good, and trusting in Him takes faith. Even when the Lord looks silent and still...He is working beneath the surface. He is always working. Who do you need to forgive today? Pray for them and... wait. 

                  Just be still and know HE is God. 

                                            

Special Needs With Special Needs

This week has been a tough one. My son, with Aspergers entering 6th grade, has really been grappling with not having any friends. All of his good buds, who accept his many quirks and love him unconditionally, live far away. We sat and cried together as I shared about those quiet times in my adult life where I felt alone and without a friend. I told of those days I, too, desired a buddy and felt without. 

We talked about seasons, knowing that although they seem like they will never ever end that indeed they...eventually do. Seasons in life have hidden processes working beneath the surface, things greater than can be seen with the human eye. The tree that looks dead in Winter is storing necessary nutrients for Spring when it will shed beautiful colors and form. We conversed on how God continues working even when it feels very still and quiet. Insides are being fashioned and nourished for a future season. We pray each night and believe God is working. Laying this trial at His feet trusting God is knitting together the perfect friend for him. 

God is entrusting hidden treasures, as my son grows in his faith and trusts during a time that is uncomfortable and not fun. A work in secret spaces of his heart, God will expose as beauty in this next season we walk out. Its hard to watch, if I am very honest. Alone, with my face in lap, I have cried many times over my child who struggles so with social situations. It seems as we grow older, our struggles follow suit. 

God formed us with a heart for community from the beginning. It is not good to be alone. The Lord has tucked away a truth in my heart as of late...I must be intentional. I need to keep my eyes wide open for those opportunities for us to be the friend we are looking for.  Focusing not on our own struggle but how HE might use it for His glory. How Jesus might want us to befriend another who is longing for a friend too. Will it be hard? Um yeah, of course! But if I believe that God works it all for good, then this too He will use for His glory as we continue to seek His face through it all. I continue to rest in the sovereignty of God. This season will bear much fruit if we allow the nutrients sown in Winter to be used in Spring. 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  

who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can 

comfort those in any trouble with the comfort

 we ourselves receive from God.

What is God asking you to be intentional about? Have you seen truths sewn in your life lately that God wants to use for His glory?