Full of Wonder

Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.

Psalm 127:3 (NLT)

Xavier was three years old and the other kids and I had just had it with him breaking every ones stuff. It was the last straw when he broke Boston’s brand new remote control truck. I was upset. Boston was upset. I had used up all the words I knew to explain to him that breaking other peoples toys made them sad, I had given him time outs, taken his toys, spankings, nothing seemed to get through to this boy. Whether it was the right thing to do or not, I had one last idea. Xavier loved cars and trains. I think vroom was the first sound he made. He slept with cars, he carried them in his pockets, and he had special cars that he would trade grandma for every time he visited her. Cars were VERY important to him.

When he broke the truck we were all outside. I told Boston to go pick out his brothers favorite car and bring dad’s hammer. Boston did as instructed. I then told him to set the car on the sidewalk. I made sure Xavier was watching. Then I told Boston to smash the car with Dad’s hammer. He gave me a look that said, “Mom are you crazy.” I apparently was crazy thinking this would work because he smashed the car and Xavier started jumping up and down doing the Tool man Taylor grunt yelling, “AWESOME” and ran off to get another car to smash. There went that idea.

This was when it finally clicked. This boy drives me crazy sometimes because I do not get him. Each one of my children is different in their own way but with him I had a difficult time understanding him because he is so much different than me. Everything was funny to him. No discipline ever seemed to work because to him it was funny. I would get so frustrated because, seriously, everything is not funny! Especially when you are in trouble. This is when I really started studying him, like he was a school project. I prayed that God would help me see this amazing little boy through His eyes. God has done that for me and continues to do that for me. I still do not always understand why he does what he does, but I do understand what makes the boy tick.

In taking the time to really pay attention to Xavier I just slowed down. I tried to see what was so funny to him all the time. I honestly still have no idea but what I do find is that he makes me laugh; he makes his brother, his sisters and his dad laugh. He brings joy and fun to our family. He makes me loosen up. He loves people and making them laugh.

One day, not long after the car-smashing incident, I walked into the bathroom and there he was lying on the floor. His body was kind of wrapped around the toilet with his head to the back of the toilet. Now to this momma who has two little boys, the bathroom floor around the toilet is by far the most unsanitary thing in the house. It was definitely God answering my prayers to help me see my son through His eyes that kept me from yelling at him in that moment without a care as to what he was doing on the floor. What I did instead was squat down next to him and said, “Buddy, what are you doing?” He said, “momma, when I flush the toilet where does the water go and does the new water come in this tube.” I was shocked. He was three. But what God made me see right then was that my little boy had a brain for how things worked. He didn’t care that he was most likely laying in some pee or that all the other kids were playing. He only cared about how the toilet worked. That day God gave me a little glimpse of the inner tickings of my son and because of that our relationship changed. I spent a lot less time being frustrated with him and a lot more time explaining to him how things worked.

God has shown me so many things about my little guy and I know there is so much more for me to learn about him. But I love it. I love learning about each one of my children. They are amazing little creations of God that have fears, they experience joy, sorrow, and pain, they want to love and be loved. They each handle things in their own particular way. They have different personalities and different love languages. One likes mint chip ice cream, one prefers cookie dough, and the other two don’t care as long as there is ice cream.



Xavier is now 6 years old, he is not only curious to know how things work but also likes to test things and do experiments. He is full of wonder. He told our neighbor the other day that he wants to be a scientist…but not the evil kind. Recently, he was with one of his friends doing an experiment. He had flipped his bike upside down and was spinning the tires as fast as he could. The experiment part was to see what would happen if he stuck his forehead to the spinning wheel. Well, what happened was a giant friction burn on his forehead. But again he just thought it was “AWESOME.”

Moms, we need to get a little curious, just like Xavier, do an experiment. Remember science class and experiments? Make a hypothesis and then an observation. Write down each of your children’s name and your hypothesis. What do you know about their personalities, their love languages, their likes and dislikes? What kind of discipline works best for them? If they could pick an activity, what would it be? Then observe.

I have observed that my frustration with my kids sometimes comes because I want them to be like me. I want them to pick up their toys like I would, play quietly like I would, walk normal like I would. But, they are not me, the things they do are not just to irritate me. If I take the time to see them for who they are, instead of trying to make them someone they are not, a beautiful thing happens in that relationship.

Remember what it is like to be full of wonder over your children? When that beautiful baby was placed in your arms and you spent hours at a time sitting there in wonder, amazed that this little person was once in your belly. You studied their little feet and hands, new what each little cry meant. Ask God to help you see your children the way He sees them. Be fascinated with your kids and study them like you did when they were first born. Pray that God would give you a glimpse at your child’s heart.

Lord, I pray that you would fill our hearts with this desire to know our children, to see them like you do. Remind us of what it was like when they were new little babies and we studied every inch of them. Help us to be patient on this journey of getting to know our children. I thank you for the blessing of these children that you have entrusted to our care.

A couple of books that may be helpful to you are Personality Plus for Parents by Florence Littauer or The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

Making Good Choices

For as many mistakes as I have made as a mother, I have also been spared many a heartache thanks to wisdom from the Lord as well as other mommies. Let's face it, we all love to share our mommy stories, the good, bad, and ugly. It's nice to talk to others who can laugh with you and relate as well as being able to download when we have troubles and ask for wisdom and prayer. From the moment you delivered that first baby, whether natural or cesarean, epidural or natural, Pitocin (that gives you some sort of bonus points, in my opinion) or if that perfect little person was handed to you through the gift of adoption, you are now part of this wonderful club where we all have an understanding of one another's struggles and glories. It is in the sharing of those struggles and glories that I have found wisdom and adjusted my parenting style as such.

One thing I am extremely grateful for is wise advice from several mommy friends who told me about the book Babywise. It's all about scheduling and helping baby create good sleep habits. While my husband and I were not rigid with it, we used it as a tool to help both of our girls get on a healthy nap and sleep schedule early on, which was certainly a blessing when they finally began sleeping through the night and has continued to be a blessing as they have gotten older and continue to maintain good sleeping habits.

I am also very thankful to my friend Franci from whom I picked up discipline strategies back in our teaching days that I still use with my own kids. She would always tell her 3rd graders to "make good choices" which helped them learn to take responsibility for their own disobedience and the resulting consequences. We use this phrase with Selah. When she shows the signs of an impending tantrum, we tell her to make a better choice and then lay out what that choice looks like. It is so sweet when she gets that thoughtful look on her face and decides to do the right thing (usually...) which is oftentimes accompanied by her saying, "good job, that's a better choice!".


Being a teacher at a Christian school has offered the unique benefit of building relationships with strong Christian moms and dads. I have watched and learned so much from them. I observed them disciplining in love, encouraging with sincerity, answering with honesty and wisdom, and praying with child-like faith. I am so very grateful to have witnessed all of this before having children of my own. With my husband working with high school students, we have really gotten a view of the whole spectrum and have seen what works and what doesn't.

I could wrote a whole blog just on this and probably will at some point. But here is one of the biggest lessons we have learned. We have witnessed that oftentimes the most successful and spiritually mature students have very supportive and involved parents who are aware of and working through their child's areas of struggle rather than being in denial or defensive about them. On the reverse of that, we have also seen parents who consistently make excuses for their children academically, socially, and spiritually. These kids carry their struggles with them from year to year, never getting the help they need or held accountable for their actions and character- and the problems persist and grow.

So, we have set our minds and hearts to be involved, be aware, and be honest when it comes to our children's limitations and sin struggles. If my daughter ends up being the bossy girl in the class, I want to take her aside and teach her humility. If she is a teenager hiking her uniform skirt up way too high, it will be pants only until she learns how to dress modestly. If she posts something inappropriate on a social site, I want to know about it asap and follow up with the appropriate consequences. That is the kind of parenting I have been blessed to witness and hope to model.


It would be wonderful if we as moms all had a group of like-minded mommies that we can learn from and bounce ideas off of. If we are transparent with each other, we can learn so much from each other's mistakes and rejoice in each other's glories, gleaning wisdom to impart in our own homes. I pray that you have this, and if not, I encourage you to ask the Lord to provide an opportunity to get involved in just the right group for you. If you already have a great group of mommy friends, consider looking for others to invite to join you. First and foremost, is God's direction in our lives as our primary source of guidance and wisdom. What works for one family may not work for you and yours, but there is wise counsel and great fellowship to be had among fellow Christians.



Prayer- Gracious and Glorious God, I ask you first and foremost for the wisdom that comes from You to fill me and flow from me as I instruct, discipline, and raise my children. I pray for the perfect group of like-minded mommies to be brought into my life that we may share, fellowship, encourage, and learn from each other. I pray that I will listen, watch, and learn from other parents around me that I may grow in knowledge and understanding to be a better parent to these wonderful children you have blessed me with. Please help me to understand their struggles and work through them rather than deny them that I may help my children to embrace who You created them to be. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Clear Direction

"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14: 6 (NIV)

“Mommy, where are we going this morning?” “To the zoo,” I replied. “And what are we doing after that?” “We are going to the grocery store?” “Then what are we doing after that?” “We are going home?” “Well, what are we doing when we get home?” “We are going to relax?” “And what are we going to do after that?” It was clear that my four year old son wanted to know our entire plans for the day in consequential order. As much as a constant borage of questions like this can irk me, I have to admit that I am like that too. :)

I love details! I want to know: when, where, why, and how--all the time. I like to know the plans or be the event planner. I am the kind of gal who likes to plan the whole week out with my kids, and I usually have a backup plan in mind just in case it’s raining outside, but we have a playmate scheduled at the park. I know! It may seem too “type A”, but that is just who I am.

When I think about it, I think our society is like that too. Many of us want to be able to plan not only our schedules, but have a general guideline for our lives as well (where we want to work, where we want to live, how many kids we want to have, how long we want to wait before having the next kid, meals for the week, vacations, financial planning, college funds, etc.). Our society is hungry for direction…a legitimate need often met in illegitimate ways (horoscopes, taro readers, psychics, etc.).

In the age of all this uncertainty (with the economy and everything else), I am so glad that God was very clear about how to access Him. In John 14:6, Jesus clearly states, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” The entire new testament highlights the fall of man, the need for a savior (a worthy sacrifice), and the coming/birth of the Messiah—Jesus Christ. Yet our seeking culture, will often make us feel that this idea of Jesus being the only way is far too narrow-minded. But is it really? Perhaps an illustration I heard at church yesterday will help:

There once was a little girl whose dad was an identical twin. He and his brother looked exactly alike. One day, the little girl was waiting for her dad to come home from work when her uncle walked in the door. “Daddy!” she exclaimed, and she ran into his arms and hugged him. A few moments later, her father walked in. “Daddy!” she again exclaimed, and she ran into his arms and hugged him. The uncle and the dad sat at opposites sides of the room. The uncle would say, “Sweetheart, come to daddy.” And the little girl would run over and jump into his lap. Then the dad would say, “Sweetheart, come to daddy.” And the little girl would get up and run into his lap. They did this back and forth for a few minutes until the little girl sat in the middle of the floor crying. She just wanted to know who her Daddy was! She was confused!

Isn’t our society just like that! With all the religions out there today—Buddhism, Judaism, Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, New Age, and everything in between—people just want to know what is true. People want clear directions! Just as all roads do not need lead to Miami from St. Augustine, Florida, all roads do NOT lead to heaven! A brief study of the five major world religions will reveal vast differences in what each religion says is true about God and how we make it to heaven…if that religion even has a “heaven” so to speak.

Why am I bringing all this up? Well, it occurred to me that as we get ready to celebrate Christmas, God in his great goodness will probably give us several opportunities to share His love with those around us, and to let people know that the birth of Jesus is the real reason we celebrate this season called Christmas. This is where I need help myself. I tend to be quite good at encouraging other believers or speaking with other Christians, but evangelism is extremely hard for me! It is not easy for me to talk about Christ and my faith to another mom at the park whom I have just met. After all, that is somewhat taboo in our culture these days. It is also hard for me talk about it with other moms that I know relatively well, but whom I also know are not interested in hearing me talk about Jesus. They would rather stick to Santa. But I would encourage you (and myself) to pray for and take advantage of the opportunities that we do have.

“Live wisely among those who are not Christians, and make the most of every opportunity.” Colossians 4:5 (NLT)

This Christmas season, let us truly reflect on who Jesus is, why He came, and the fact that he came for everyone. He is not exclusive; he is inclusive. He died for all of us while we were still sinners. No one can find that kind of love and acceptance anywhere, and that is GOOD NEWS! Some may not like our message, but let us live genuine lives that reflect Him and we may be surprised at some of the people who come to the faith because we were willing to be taboo and talk about religion with family, friends, and people we don’t really know.

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, you sent your son Jesus for all of us. Help us be bold enough to share your message. Help us to not be ashamed of the gospel. You provided one beautiful way for us to access you. Help us share that way with others. May your perfect love cast out all the fears of our hearts, and may we never grow weary of living the life you have called us to. Thank you for this very beautiful CHRISTmas season. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Challenge:
How would you explain the true meaning of Christmas to a child? Why was Jesus’ birth so important? Contemplate these questions, and then share your response with an adult that God places in your path who really needs to hear his truth.

Recommendation: Pick up a copy of the Jesus Storybook Bible—it is meant for kids but is great for adults too! It talks about how Jesus is woven into the entire Bible from Creation to Redemption. Most importantly, it talks about why we need Him.

Caught not taught

Last week at the park with my family, I noticed a man sitting not too far from us on the grass, cross-legged and staring down. It looked like he was meditating. Seizing the opportunity, I leaned over to my 5 yr old son and asked if he thought that man was talking to God. Tanner looked over at the man and instantly responded; “No mommy, he’s just texting”. I laughed and told him that he was probably right.

Driving home, I couldn’t get the image out of my mind. Not the image of the man meditating, but that of my sons face. He was so certain the man was texting, not praying. I got a little sad realizing his certainty came from seeing mommy, daddy and people all around preoccupied with their black berries and iPhones, distant from the ones around them. How I wish our children would see us praying as often as they see us checking our phones.

Our children’s pastor, Billy, quoted this in a meeting not long ago; “Christianity is more caught than taught”. It’s so true. I can try to talk to my children about the importance of prayer and devotions, but if they don’t see me doing it, it’s wasted effort. We are called to be followers of Christ, teachers yes, but first and foremost followers and disciples. It’s our relationship to God that makes us effective and authentic, trustworthy and real to our children and others. Little ones need to SEE us praying, praising and working things out with God so they have an understanding of what we are talking about when we say; "let's now pray for this". Have you ever tried to teach your children the principle of obedience and submission to authority only to get totally convicted that you are not obeying God (or your husband) yourself? I have.

How can we parent unless we allow God to be our parent? How can we be mothers unless we have first been daughters to God? Rules and regulations without relationship produce rebellion, not only in our children but in us too.

 Jesus warned his followers in regards to the teachers of that day.

“The scribes and the Pharisee's sit on Moses' seat, so practice and observe whatever they tell you but not what they do. For they preach, but do not practice.” Matt.23:1-3 (Eng. Standard)

So if your interaction with your children is starting to become just preaching and the barking out of orders, stop everything and go back to basics. Go back to focusing on being a daughter to your heavenly Father. Crawl up in His lap every morning and let Him love on you for a while before the kids get up. Then give that overflow away to your family when they wake up, it truly works because God is the perfect parent who knows how to love us. He will grant you the grace sufficient for that day. Then your Christianity will be caught by your children rather than taught.

“The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.”Is.58:11

I challenge you to try this even more so because of the holiday frenzy that’s upon us. The harder the workload and pressure of the day, the more time we need to take with God before we start out the day. He is faithful to center us again, and again, and again as many times as we need. And He will do it with joy and perfect love.

Half Empty or Half Full?

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.  I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. -Philippians 4:11-12

I frequently go grocery shopping with my two boys, and each time I ponder why I didn't wait until a time I could come by myself and peruse the isles without chaos :) But more times than not, the Lord uses those few minutes, I am stretched pushing my two in the cart, to teach me many life lessons :). So as we shopped today, and our cart continued to fill up, I noticed my boys kept asking for more and more things. I let them pick out a few snacks, as usual, and they still wanted more. I let them pick out some special candy for "Movie Night" and they still wanted more. They got a free cookie from the bakery and still wanted more. I started to get a bit frustrated over the fact that their heart never seemed satisfied no matter how many things I blessed them with. It opened my eyes to how the Lord's heart must break as He continues to stretch out His hand of blessings my way...and yet my heart continues to yearn and desire for more.

Why am I so vertically challenged? Oh not in my physical stature but in my heart. I get so horizontally focused where my heart continually looks at what is right in front of me and wonders why I don't have more. I find myself sometimes comparing what I have to other stay -at- home moms until He gently reminds me that we are each in different financial seasons. I, too, can find myself looking around the "store of life" instead of praising the Lord for those things already in my "cart."

My wonderful husband works two jobs so I can stay home. Praise God my husband has work. Praise God that I get to stay at home. Praise God we have a home, clean water to drink that I don't have to travel somewhere to get, a hot shower, food to eat, clean clothes to wear, gas in our car, a car to drive.  So often the world dangles eye candy in front of us making us think our joy is conditional upon having those things. The funny thing is that even after acquiring the latest gadget my heart still yearns at it's core for more. It is only when I am seeking the Lord's face daily (Psalm 105:4) that I find true contentment within my soul.  But the ads and commercials will tell us otherwise these days, right?

I want to be content. I want to thank the Lord for the small things in life that so often go unnoticed. I want to cultivate and grow a lifestyle of thanksgiving I can pass onto my children for them to replicate for generations once I am gone.  This Sunday our small group pondered some Thanksgiving questions I'd love to share with you...
1.  What are you most thankful for when you think about your life as a whole? When you think about the past year? the past day? What everyday blessings do you take most for granted?
2. Do you incorporate gratitude into your everyday life in any intentional way? If so, how? If not, how might you cultivate a "practice" of gratitude?

That last question really hit me hard. How intentional am I to practice a heart of gratitude DAILY? I shared with them about Courtney's suggestion of making a list of things you are thankful for, as a good reminder of the blessings you have received for those days your eyes and heart longs for more. Sometimes we just need to push pause on our wants/desires and push play on our praise to God. I have started a list on my computer and plan to jot down each day a few things I am thankful for. Hopefully this will cause my heart to reflect more on what He has given and less on what I don't currently have.

I recently noticed as my boys pray before meals that their prayers have gotten shorter and shorter with the hopes of getting to our food faster :) After reading Courtney's blog I decided to challenge my boys to start their prayer out by praising the Lord for a few things first. They are usually very elementary and simple things, being that they are only 2 and 4 years old :) By doing this they are remembering His goodness in their lives first. I am really trying to do this in my prayer life too! It's so easy to jump right into the things we want and miss the opportunity to praise Him for what we already have :)

So is your glass half empty or half full? Or should I say...is your "cart" half empty of half full? Which of the small group questions above resonated with you the most and why? What resolution can you make today to live a life of gratitude year round instead of just at Thanksgiving?

The Prince of Peace

Last Friday, I told you my daughter would be married to her Prince Charming.  I thought you may enjoy a few pictures that capture our experience last weekend.  

 Cole and Michelle during rehearsal.

Here comes the bride...

Prince Charming and His Bride

What a blessing it was to watch God care for the details for the entire week leading up to the wedding.  The wedding day was clear, beautiful and in the low 70's.  Even the azaleas were in bloom.  The day was filled with joy, excitement, bliss and undeniably, His peace.

Specifically, the Prince of Peace was evident.  Last week the point of the blog was to remind us that one day our Prince Charming would come and we needed to be ready.  At Cole and Michelle's wedding I was reminded our Prince Charming is also the Prince of Peace.  In the midst of all that was going on, His peace was very evident and apparent.

As people would give kind words about how the ceremony and reception went, we couldn't help but give credit where credit is due.  God did the amazing work for orchestrating all the details to fall into place.  He took care of the details we forgot to mention in prayer.  He calmed our hearts and made His presence more evident and more important than what could have distracted us from His entrance.

We give Him alone glory for this beautiful day and this couple who are madly in love with Him and with each other.

My challenge to you today is to celebrate the Prince of Peace in your life, to thank Him for being the solace of every day and His presence in every breath.  I also encourage you to continue to pray that your children will be the spouses God would want them to one day be, and ask the Lord to prepare the hearts of your children's spouses to welcome the Prince of Peace into their lives.

Isaiah 9: 6  "...And His name will be called, Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Santa to Circumcision

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6 (NIV)

“Mom, tell me the truth, is Santa real?” “Mom, what is circumcision?” Ahhhh…. do your kids ever ask you questions that make you want to take a time out and collect your thoughts. This was my week. Santa to circumcision. First, my son wants the truth, is Santa real? Then we are doing our morning Bible study and it is talking about circumcision. Usually we just can kind of glide over those things and he never asks a thing, but as of late he has started paying more attention. So I am calmly explaining to him what circumcision is, I say the word penis and my oldest daughter can barely stand it because last year during Bible study she asked the question, “mom, what does that mean, to make love.” So anytime the word penis is said she is totally grossed out. (I tell you what; these Bible studies are bringing up some questions and not always the ones I am hoping for.) So my daughter is grossed out and my son can’t believe I would do that to his penis even though I explained that the doctor did it, not me. Parenting can be quite the adventure.



You will find it in marriage books, parenting books, and leadership books; we have to learn to respond rather than to react. These two words respond and react are words that are commonly used interchangeably, but just say them a few times to yourself, listen and see if you hear a difference in there meanings. Respond… React … Respond … React… Respond…React.

When I was looking these words up in the dictionary react was a word that kind of had a negative undertone. It was an act in response to something, to oppose a force or influence. I thought of a firefighter who is trained so that their reactions to certain situations are their first instinct. That didn’t sound like a negative thing to me but I could think of some reactions that did sound negative. Like when watching two children playing, they are having fun rough housing but then one accidentally gets hurt and their reaction is anger and they are not having fun anymore they are trying to hurt the other person. Or in an argument between a husband and wife, the husband sweetly leans into his wife for a good night kiss, lays his hand on her thigh and slowly moves it up and she reacts by pulling away, saying “that’s all you ever want from me.” All these reactions are instinctual reactions that are not thought through.

To respond is different. When I looked respond up in the dictionary it had more of a positive connotation. It was to reply or answer, to have a favorable reaction. In the situation between the husband and the wife what would have changed if the wife had responded instead of reacted? Responding seems to imply that there is some kind of thought and that it is not just instinctual. If the wife would have thought instead of reacted she would have realized, “no this is not all he ever wants from me, he wants me to cook him dinner, wash his clothes, pick up his messes.” This is not texting so it is probably inappropriate for me to type lol, but I am laughing out loud right now because I am just kidding. As true as all those things are none of them are probably “all” this woman’s husband “ever wants.” If she were to take a second to think about the man she married and that he is a man of good will towards her, who loves her she may have responded differently.

I want to go back to the firefighter and the kids. The kids are just reacting, following their instinct. But the firefighter, he has trained himself not to react but to respond. The natural instinct is to run away from a fire, but the firefighter runs into the fire. This is what we need to do, train ourselves to respond rather than react. This can be applied to all areas of life but being that this is a mom’s blog we are going to look at responding to our children instead of reacting.

This is applicable for any age or stage that are children are at. I remember nursing my first child, and other moms had warned me, I had read it in books, but the first time that baby bit down and sunk those new little teeth into my breast, I screamed and pulled her away. I reacted. The first time one of my children ripped a poopy diaper apart and smeared it all over everything during naptime. I reacted. When my son kicked a hole in the wall. I reacted.

I need training on how to respond, not react to my children. I think this can start in the little things like spilt milk. Do I get all frustrated and yell over spilt milk or do I clean it up, gently reminding my child to stay on there butt and to keep there cup at the top of their plate, realizing that they are just children and that I also have my own fair share of spills.

As a parent if we react to the little things in negative ways, what are our kids going to do when it comes to the big things? Is there any wonder why they would lie about breaking something or be afraid to ask us a question about what something means when we have reacted negatively in the little things? Learning to respond to your kids rather than react is bigger than just spilt milk, it is building a relationship with your kids where they know they can come to you with anything and you are not going to freak out.

A friend shared a story with me about her relationship with her daughter. Their alone time was in the car each afternoon when she picked her up from school and my friend could always tell by her daughter’s body language if there was a question she wasn’t going to like stirring in her daughter’s mind. So she would prepare herself not to react but to respond. On this particular day the question was about the male anatomy. The important thing here is to recognize the relationship. A mom that reacted and blew up about everything would have probably never been asked this question by their child, but this child felt very comfortable talking to her mom because her mom had a history of responding. The daughter trusted her mom. My friend told me on the inside she was freaking out but was collected on the outside and able to respond to her daughter’s question.


“Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.” Colossians 4:6 (MSG)

I have got to learn to guard my mouth (Proverbs 21:23). I need to respond in all situations instead of react. I am so thankful that my kids are so forgiving of the times I have reacted as I work with God’s help on training myself to respond. I know that as my kids get older Santa and circumcisions will seem like no big deal in comparison to the questions they will have. But I want that relationship with them where they know they are safe with me. That I won’t freak out, laugh at them or put them down, but that I will be gracious and honest and that what I have to say will come from the heart and won’t simply be a reaction.

I challenge us all this week to pay better attention to what comes out of our mouths. Is it a reaction or a response? Am I building relationships with my children where they feel safe? A relationship where mom doesn’t yell over the proverbial spilt milk but instead can respond from the heart?

Lord, I pray that you will work in the hearts of each one of us. That you will clean out the junk that causes us to react. Your word says that out of the overflow of our hearts the mouth speaks. Let the overflow of our hearts be love, your love. I pray Lord, that you will help us to be more aware of when we are reacting to our children, help us to stop, say a prayer for guidance and move on with a response. Keep our hearts clean and pure so that our children see your light always shining through us.