"Just come over!"

Without fan fare.

Without a plan.

Without a written invitation.

It happened.  It was sweet and unexpected.

It was last minute and with only a minimal time window.

After exhausting possibilities of what could be.

The invitation came, by way of phone.

“I have everything we need for dinner, just come over.”

         And so we did.

         Just her dad and I.

         She and her husband.

         We walked in as she was rolling chopped apples in sugar and cinnamon.  We stood around her counter as she pressed out the dough.  She put them in individual tiny casserole cups and by the handful placed the apples on top.  Having arranged them on a baking sheet, she put them in the oven.

         We were invited to go sit 12 feet away into their living area.  The four of us gathered around the tiny coffee table as she sat on the floor and lit six or so well used candles.

         We talked and laughed about the day’s events. The “doneness” of the chicken was checked a time or two before we walked the same 12 feet back to the little four top table.

         We praised the Lord for the food and the brief time we had to share a meal.  The food deserved a Michelin Star. The company and conversation, the ease and the grace of the evening has no higher honor than for this grateful mom to say, it was a hallowed night. A gem of a memory I will treasure for the rest of my life.

Mom's Security Blanket

         Over the years I have found my favorite baby gift is a security blanket.  They come in many varieties, sizes and colors.  I like to add a card saying, “May you enjoy finding security in this little blanket until you find security in the Lord.”

         I am a softie for a child pulling a blanket or a favorite toy around. 

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I guess I’m just “old school” and love to see the natural affinity children have for certain toys.

         My family of origin on the other hand have had a long standing joke about my mom’s blanket.  My mother’s age isn’t a secret, but now in her 70’s we remain surprised she continues to carry a blanket with her on her travels and most definitely in her house. 

         As of late, I too have found a love for a blanket.  Honestly, not a particular one, but just an extra one.  I keep it folded by my head while I sleep.  If I wake a bit chilled during the night, I simply unfold it and lay it around my shoulders.  The blanket is just heavy and soft enough to make me feel comforted.

         And I smile.

         I smile realizing the blanket has brought security to me. Yes, some warmth, but more importantly a reminder of my mom.  I can’t help but think my brothers would make fun of me falling into being “just like my momma."

         I wonder if you have begun to take on characteristics of your mom or someone you dearly love.  It is a compliment to be compared to someone you admire and respect.

         Paul said in I Corinthians 11: 1, “follow my example as I follow Christ.”  God’s desire is for our growth in the Lord to be so exemplary that we can encourage others to follow us.  Our children will follow our example.  May we provide them with examples worthy to be followed.

  

Really?!? Mother's Day in August!

         Mother’s Day has always been one of my favorite holidays!  Even though I personally have only celebrated 24 of them, I began to love Mother’s Day in May 1970.

         My youngest brother, Neal was born in May just in time for Mother’s Day.  His birthday actually lands on the actual date on occasion.  Six years my junior I saw Neal as the prized gift any mother would celebrate!

        

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Mother’s Day this year should have been one of my best.  I was with my mother in the morning.  We then drove the 333 miles through two states to celebrate with my mother in law that evening.  Being with both of these special ladies was truly a blessing.

         However, what happened along the 333 miles was by far one of my low points in mothering.  No, I couldn’t discuss it with you then.  It was too fresh and I couldn’t put into words my hurt, but suffice it to say it wasn’t fun trying to correct, discipline and train our youngest by phone over 700 miles away.

         This week as we have wrapped up our last official week of summer I couldn’t be happier.  We have enjoyed a super relaxing summer.  Our son has graduated, gotten married and set up his home just around the corner.  Greg and I have taken some time off and have been able to travel. We feel lavished in joy as our oldest quickly approaches her third year of marriage. 

         This week as I shopped alone with our youngest, for school supplies and uniforms it felt like what I think Mother’s Day should feel like.  She was very appreciative for all that we were able to do and see and buy.  We chatted like old friends on a front porch swing and we laughed like schoolgirls on the playground.

         It was the reality check that sometimes holidays and “every days” don’t go as we expect or planned.  When we do enjoy a day of less stress and more joy we can make them the “Mother’s Day” of the moment. I think I will drop my expectations of special occasions and see each day as the potential to be just that.  When a ordinary day becomes an extraordinary day I will revel in it and give it the honorary “Mother’s Day” award!  

The Deal with Parenting

         Not too long ago I was walking through the discount store, Big Lots! with our then 15 year old daughter.  We often walk through looking for a bargain but usually find ourselves laughing at the ridiculous items they believe the American public will buy.

         On this particular day our daughter found these t-shirts that simply said, “South Carolina.”  Because she was born there she immediately saw them as a “must have” commodity.  She tried to coerce me into believing we needed two more t-shirts in our wardrobes.  Oh but you young moms would have been so proud of me as I stood my ground with the firm, “NO!”

         Our precious little one couldn’t get these bargain t-shirts off her mind.  She came home and counted her money.  She proudly found me later in the kitchen asking if we could return to the store so she could purchase the t-shirts herself.

         I haven’t mentioned the t-shirts were only $3.00.  Anyway we ended back at Big Lots! for her to make the purchase.  Upon her return home, she was tickled to make an exaggerated presentation of the t-shirt to her dad and a matching one for herself.  She was ever so proud, as I was happy for her.

         As she made the presentation, she couldn’t miss the opportunity to mention what a deal they were at $3.00 each.  She concluded her presentation with, “So for $6.00 I bought two t-shirts and two hangers!”  We fell apart laughing at the deal she considered she had gotten because the clothes hangers had been “thrown in.”

         As I am blessed and tickled by her naivety I thought how we are often lured into thinking we have a deal.  The deal may appear; we have gotten more for less, or done something easy while others worked hard.  The “deal” often appears to be a short cut.

         God’s Word shows us time and again that growing as a believer or training our children doesn’t happen with a short cut or cutting corners.  Reading His Word, praying and fasting won’t turn us into super hero Christians.  Telling our children once to obey won’t be the end of our training.

         The “Deal” with parenting involves persistence. Not getting distracted with what other parents are doing and not being discouraged when our parenting tactics don’t find success in a short amount of time.

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        Jesus knew parenting wouldn’t be easy.  He knew parenting would make us want and need Him more.  Jesus wants us to see Him as the only “deal” worth having!  He can make our parenting deal the best bargain in town! 

A Lifetime Parental Resolution

From the words of one of my favorite Bible teachers, Priscilla Shirer!  She has a podcast regarding mothering at:            
                                               http://www.goingbeyond.com/blog

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love     noun    /lev/

an intense feeling of deep affection

a feeling of warm personal attachment, as for a parent or child

Initial thoughts about having children typically conjures up fantasies of cute little clothes, play dates, and quiet, cooing moments in the dim light of their bedrooms. So it can be a harsh reality for mothers to realize that their main priority as parents is not to share laughs and Oreos with their kids but to shepherd them. A parent's job is to lead their children with intentionality, guiding them toward becoming men and women of distinction, filled with integrity, girded with responsibility, and firmly rooted in a love for and honor of God.

With the birth of each of my children, I become more and more aware of the incredible mixture of responsibility and privilege involved in raising these boys. In the midst of long, tiring days and frequently even longer nights, seeing my efforts through the lens of eternal ramifications began to change my perspective. These little men, after all, are my chief way of reproducing God’s image on earth, proliferating the agenda of the Father Himself through little human beings who will hopefully become leaders of their own homes one day.

Our sons and daughters are to be like “arrows…in the hand of a mighty man” (Psalm 127:4 KJV) – sharpened, directed, and sent forth into the world to accomplish the tasks for which they were divinely created. This won't just happen on it's own. It will require the loving, diligence of a mother . . .who has made a resolution.

This week's resolution:

I will demonstrate to my children how to love God with all their hearts, minds, and strength, and will train them to respect authority and live responsibly.

No matter how challenging or how discouraging this resolution may cause you to feel or how many years you think you’ve already wasted, now is a good time to start. Whether you have toddlers or teenagers, your resolution to be the kind of parent who is purposeful and diligent will be worth it.

Every day.

Every month.

Every year.

Poker Faced Parenting

        Don’t you just love a good story?  Some are experts at storytelling.  You stay on the edge of your seat from the beginning or you start with a giggle that builds to an avalanche of laughter.

         Our children love to tell stories too!  It starts with a line of intrigue or of an unsuspecting risk.  Sometimes their stories lack a point while others end with the proverbial “happily ever after.”   Invariably one of our “wee ones” will share a story simply for a reaction, namely, from us!

         It has become my custom to let the children talk.   In fact, I let them completely finish their stories, without my interruption or interjection.   Doing this allows them to remember what they were trying to communicate, but specifically it allows me to hear the entire story.

         Recently, a friend of one of my oldest was sharing an extraordinary purchase she had recently made. It was one of those ridiculous, frivolous expenses that we all make in our early “twenty somethings” and within a few years we ask, “Why didn’t someone try to stop me?” (When in truth, everyone had tried to stop the young adult, but they press ahead with their desire.)

         My first impulse was to gasp in horror over this ridiculous expense.  Rather I allowed her to finish the story.  The end of her story was that she realized how unnecessary the purchase was and returned the item.

         A friend observed my response.  She later said how impressed she was with it.  Saying she would have stopped our young friend mid way to tell her how “silly, foolish, ridiculous” this purchase was.  My friend said I had held a poker face.  The young friend would never have recognized my shock or disappointment with her decision.

         Moms, sometimes we need a poker face.  If we stop them before the story is finished (even with facial disapproval or rolling of eyes) their story may rectify itself.  Our interruptions may cause the child to feel discouraged or that they have disappointed us.  Equally as bad is it may cause our children to shut down.  Our children may stop talking, stop being honest, stop asking questions, stop coming to us for direction.

        While some may seem to have an excellence for storytelling, having a poker face might be the upper advantage! 

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         Proverbs 18: 13  “He who answers before listening – that is his folly and his shame.”