TICKED OFF

TICKED OFF

Ephesians 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you”

I was focusing on a bible study, taking in great wisdom on teaching my kids about obedience and sacrifice, when the words on the page jumped off and punched me in the chest! It read, “When involved in conflicts with friends or siblings ask your child, ‘Which one of you is going to be like Jesus and sacrifice? Do you care more about your friend or about winning the argument?”

I took a deep breath and heard the Holy Spirit’s still voice whisper, “well, what are you going to do Sheila???” My husband and I had just had a little, eh hem,  disagreement 2 days prior and I was still holding on to some of the wounds from that disagreement. Sacrifice, what a concept! How can I teach this wisdom to my kids if in my own stubbornness I have not been the one to sacrifice? I am caring more about winning the argument then my own husband!! I am being no example for the Lord. I am definitely not being an example for my kids!!

The next part of the Bible study that focused on marriage was on; yep you guessed it, conflict. I have always been a bit afraid of conflict. Coming from a long line of divorced women and seeing much conflict in my parents’ marriage made me not even want to get married. Conflict =problems=escalation in emotion=misery in my eyes and I did not want misery! She said something in that study that struck me. She said conflict is not necessarily a sign that your marriage is in trouble. It is an opportunity God is using to grow us up, make us more like Him, and bring Him glory! We need to change our mindset and stop looking at conflict as if it’s a bad thing.

James 1:2-4  “Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

What we fight about is rarely the main issue. We need to remember that if we handle conflict in our marriage properly it can produce great results and what an example we will be to our children if we hold on to this!

How are you doing in this? Has something happened in your marriage to give you the opportunity to be more like Jesus today?

*Some information courtesy of Mom's on  a Mission from Rio Vista Church

HIS BATTLE OR YOURS?

2 Chronicles 20:15 

And he said, “Listen, all Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem and King Jehoshaphat: Thus says the Lord to you, ‘Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God's.

The sparkle in her eyes has grown a little dimmer these days. Her carefree, happy go lucky attitude has begun to change. My once sweet, playful girl has started to care more about what others think and how she appears. All of this may sound like an ordinary pre-teen/teen transformation but I knew there was more.

You see my girl doesn’t open up about things easily. I tend to have to set the mood and then pry a little, not only to see what is going on but what she is feeling about it. It turns out there are some pretty mean girls in her circle with their arrows pointed in her direction these days. Mom’s, how do you handle this? I can tell you I was a bit feisty in my B.C. days. I really have been calling on the Holy Spirit to give me the words to encourage my little girl, but ladies, these girls are mean! When I hear and see what they do I have a hard time controlling my own emotions!

 

Galatians 5:17 

For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.

Seeing your babies hurt is probably the hardest thing a mother can go through. Not being able to stop the pain is even worse! There is a part of me that just wants to grab these little girls and give them a piece of my mind!! But, as I think of my example to my kiddos I know that is not what Jesus wants me to do. So I turn to scripture. I listen to my daughter and allow her to pour her feelings onto me. I pray, pray, pray that I am able to forgive these girls as I am guiding her to do, and that I don’t harbor bitterness toward them as I teach her not to do. I try to pour scripture into her so she is ready to go into the world and know that the opinion of these mean girls means nothing but God’s opinion means everything! I explain why these girls may be acting like this. There is definitely a void in their lives and we should pray for them to fill it with Jesus.

This age is a difficult one, but teaching your kids what a friend looks like to the Lord is important. Moms our feelings can overtake us and the mama bear can rear its ugly head (trust me I have done it). Staying prayed up and Spirit led is the only defense. God is so good; He knows exactly what we need when we need it. I was recently at Moms on a Mission and the topic was individuality. The handout explained what a true friend was. I have to share because it helped me to equip my daughter to analyze what a true friend looks like.

“Pray for your child to have one true friend. A true friend is:

1.  Like-minded. (Similar goals and attitudes)

2.  Loyal and trustworthy

3.  Kind, compassionate, and forgiving. Eph 4:32

4.  A true friend helps to lessen anxiety at school.

5.  A true friend shares and listens.

6.  A true friend smiles with you and compliments honestly.”

(Moms on a Mission. October 5. 2012)

Prayer: Dear Gracious Heavenly Father, Jeremiah 29:11 says You have a plan and a hope for the future of us. Father, I beg that you give me and each mom that reads this the strength and forgiveness for others that surpasses anything we can do in our strength. I pray you would equip us with the words to encourage our little ones when they are hurting and that you would give us the wisdom and self-control to know when the battle is Yours and when we need to be their advocate and step in. I thank you for each individual child of these moms and I pray that they would find friends and companionship that sharpens each other and brings them closer to you! And for each of those “mean girls” Father expose them a love that can only come from you. Protect their hearts from anything Satan is trying to expose them too. I pray they would meet You and grow in You. In Jesus name. Amen!