Friends...Speak the Truth

Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. - Ephesians 4:15



I have come to realize that I am a people pleaser. Not that I want to please people more than God but really that I want everyone to be happy in all circumstances. If they are not happy, then I try to fix the problem only to cause another problem. So frequently when a friend says they are unable to make a function or get together, I will try to change the date, time, place ect. in hopes of making them happy. The unfortunate thing in trying to do this is I am not thinking of the 10 other people who have already committed and already planned to go along with our original plans. Last time we were together, I shared about how fickle I am and need to work on being a woman my family and friends have full confidence in (Proverbs 31:11). As you read on, you will realize that HE is still working on this in my life :)


One day a few weeks ago,  I was blindsided as we were leaving the park when a friend approached me about this problem. The kids & I were on our way to the car as I, again, was trying to make everyone happy and began to change plans to help out with the busyness of another's schedule. I had a sweet friend pull me aside and share she has noticed that I really struggle with this. She said I need to not change plans as often as I do but stick to our original schedule to honor those who have already committed. She was so right. I knew I struggled with this, but I so appreciate that she loved me enough to speak the truth in love. 

I was blindsided by this talk. I am glad I was blindsided. It was helpful, truthful, and spurred me on to life change. I am now making an effort not to do this. I so appreciate that my friend felt comfortable enough to share with me about my "people pleasing" issue. I am so grateful to those friends in life that will say the "hard" things, I really need to hear, about the spiritual condition of my heart. It can be a challenge to do this as well as receive it. 

Each time I see that friend, I am reminded of the Truth she spoke into my life and it holds me accountable to keeping my word. I am so thankful that my friend laced this truthful conversation with grace and love. That was key to the way my heart received the message. Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down....in the most delightful way....as Julie Andrews would say on the movie "Mary Poppins."


I have  really tried to make an effort to be a woman of my word, not change plans, and realize that all our friends will not make it to each event we plan and that's OK :)

Recently our couples small group talked about the importance of friendship in our life. In our homework for the week, we were given a ton of scripture on friendship and questions asking about its' purpose is in our life. We came back together and shared what the Lord taught us as we meditated on them. It really got me thinking about friendship and the importance of having Godly girlfriends with the same goal... to bring glory to the Lord through their life.

"As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." -Proverbs 27:17

Our pastor recently shared that as we live out this verse that sparks will fly. It's true. If we are truly hoping to sharpen each other then there will be those occasional hard conversations we have to have. Those phone calls we need to make. Sparks will fly.


Do you have those friends in your life who will say the things that will challenge your faith walk and make you look more like Jesus?


Sometimes we will be "blindsided" by an exchange we didn't see coming. It is hard to accept constructive criticism. But if our heart's desire is to grow then we will experience those uncomfortable conversations with close friends as each of us is being sharpened. There have been PLENTY of times my husband and I have had those heart to heart conversations and I've asked the question..."How can I be a better wife?"


A few months ago I really started to evaluate the investment I was making into my close friendships. I started randomly asking my friends a few simple, yet life changing, questions about our relationship: How can I be a better friend? What areas do you see in my life where I struggle as a friend? Then I put my seat belt on, buckled down, and allow the Lord to use our friendship to mold me more into the woman of God that the Lord wants me to be. Sometimes I get blindsided but it's all worth it for the goal to look more like Jesus through this process.


Questions to Ponder:


Do you have friends in your life who are challenging your walk with Christ?
If not, PRAY, and the Lord will provide.


Are you a friend that is "sharpening" (Proverbs 27:17) those around you?


When you have a confrontation in your life do you speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) ?


Ask a close friend the tough question of how you can better serve them as a friend.


Get ready to grow and be stretched! It is an exciting journey to walk with Jesus....I wouldn't have it any other way.

***STAY TUNED...next Saturday we will start Part 2 of our "Friendship" series called
"Friends ...Support Each Other"

Questions???

Being a Mom involves so many questions?  We ask ourselves constantly…what should I do? What does this child need?  When should they be corrected? What should they eat?  What doctor should we us? And ultimately, “Why do they ask so many questions?”

Almost daily while driving from home to school or church we pass a walking track.

We see a host of healthy enthusiasts biking, jogging, roller-blading, those pushing strollers, jumping rope, you name it…they are busy getting healthy. Recently, while driving by the track, we noticed what appeared to be a less than health inspired “group” of people walking.

We knew this because they weren’t in the traditional “uniform” of the “typical track people.”  These groups were wearing jeans and some wore even a more church appropriate attire.  As we passed a second “group” we saw they where carrying a sign that identified themselves as being from a church.

My youngest and I began a conversation filled with questions, “who are they?” and  “why are they dressed like that?”  But the final question came as we passed a little guy carrying a poster board across his back that looked more like a blanket then a message.

His sign read, “Prayer Changes Things!”  To that I smiled.  Hope, on the other hand, almost as if no one was listening asked, “Is that true?”

We had the obvious conversation that would follow such a question.  However I have replayed that moment so many times since that day “Is it really true…does prayer change things?”

Of course the obvious is, it does!  I believe prayer changes things!  I believe all of life is sifted through the providential fingers of our Heavenly Father.

And yet, such bad things happen...have happened, are happening and will happen.  Why can’t God stop those things…or why doesn’t He?

I have thought back to friends of ours in South Carolina, Lt. Clebe and Deanna McClary.  Mrs. McClary's incredibly handsome husband went off to Vietnam to return without an eye, an arm and a limp.  To this day he suffers with the pain of those injuries.  Yet the injuries and experiences he sustained have allowed him to travel and speak in places he could have never spoken to if it weren’t for them.  He shares his salvation experience and invites others to do the same.  Many have come to Christ as a result of his involvement in the Vietnam War.

You know what? Many prayed during that time for him and the war.  They wanted the war over, they wanted our armed forces to come home safe and without injury.  God was answering their prayers and their questions.

Mark Batterson a pastor in Washington DC, says of his salvation experience as a result of watching the movie, The Hiding Place, that he was the beneficiary of  “Corrie ten Boom’s unanswerable questions and unexplainable experiences.”

We don’t have all the answers to our children’s questions let alone ours.  Romans 8: 28 (can we all say it together?)  ALL THINGS work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His good purpose.

Mommy’s we can trust Him with our “unanswered” questions and prayers.  Lets encourage our children to trust Him with all their questions.

Becoming

So I bow in prayer before the Father from whom every family in heaven and on earth gets its true name. I ask the Father in his great glory to give you the power to be strong inwardly through his Spirit. I pray that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life will be strong in love and be built on love. And I pray that you and all God's holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ's love—how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is. Christ's love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with the fullness of God.

With God's power working in us, God can do much, much more than anything we can ask or imagine. To him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus for all time, forever and ever. Amen.

Ephesians 3:14-21

I have been praying this scripture for my kids the last couple weeks. I have been memorizing and meditating on it. God is definitely drawing my attention to these verses; they have been popping up in books I read and sermons I hear. When I started praying these verses for my kids it was because I want them to be made strong inwardly through His Spirit, I want Christ to be at home in their hearts, I want all these things this scripture talks about for them. But as it usually happens with these things God has had some things to show me as well.

Am I living this prayer? Am I always growing spiritually? Does Christ feel right at home in my heart? Have I let Him into every little nook and cranny? Do I believe that God can do much, much more than anything I can ask or imagine?

I want to live not simply exist.

Before I had children, there were many different ways that I served Christ and with each child those things went away. There was a time when I felt like I was loosing a bit of myself as those things went away. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted lots of babies and loved caring for them. When I was younger I never thought I would be a housewife, I always planned on working. But when I got married, that changed. I loved serving my husband and couldn’t wait to be a mom. But somehow I still had this picture of “super me” caring for my husband, all these other little people and still doing everything I did before.

In my feelings of loss the question asked myself was, in all those things was I serving Christ or serving me? The answer then was that I was serving Christ and in this new season of life I was serving Christ by caring for my husband and little ones. Another question was, what is my purpose? I found my answer in Romans 8:29, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.” My purpose is to become like Christ. I will be honest, when I was seeking the answer I was looking for what committee to serve on, how many hungry kids do I feed, I was looking to do, do, do. I somehow attached my purpose to something I did instead of who I was.

Being a mom can sometimes feel like you left behind a life of serving and purpose for a life of mundane ordinary tasks. But I want to challenge that idea or feeling and look at it from a different perspective. As a mom and a wife God has given us the perfect environment to live, to grow and become more like Him. We have been given every opportunity to learn to forgive, love, to be patient, kind, gentle, to show mercy and grace. All of these things right there in one home. What a blessing.

When I said that I want to live not simply exist, I meant that I want to follow God and serve Him with all that I am. That is living. To simply exist is to go through life with no purpose…to live day by day serving me. Sometimes the mundane things in the life of being a mom, like dishes, laundry, dirty bathrooms, and making food can feel like simply existing but character is forged in the mundane. God is using those mundane tasks to build our character and make us more like Him: which is our purpose.

“Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men.” Ephesians 6:7

Being transparent here, I will tell you that I still long and dream of what God’s big picture may look like. There are so many organizations and causes that my heart leaps at to get involved in. But I am content with where I am trusting in God. Right now God is telling me to stay put, serve Him by serving my family and growing everyday into the women He created me to be by becoming more like His son. But my heart still reaches for the promise that, “With God's power working in us, God can do much, much more than anything we can ask or imagine.” I long to see what that is, knowing that I first have to trust God at point A before he moves me on to point B and farther.

I also want to note that this is where God has put ME. I pray about what to do, where to serve; and I serve by home schooling four children, bible classes to work on both my head and my heart, and this blog. This is where God has put me for this season of my life. Each time I get all excited about a ministry that tugs on my heart when I take it to God, the answer I get is ‘not right now.’

I encourage you to make time for a one on one with God and ask Him where He wants you right now. The answer will be different for each one of us. Mothers that work outside the home may be serving by bringing Christ into their work environment. I thank God for all the women who He calls to serve in children’s ministries at church, to help with foster care, to counsel teenage girls, to lead women’s ministries and much, much more. These are all things that I hope to do more of one day. I love and appreciate the women who are doing these things right now.

What does living look like for you? Where is God calling you to? What may He be asking you to give up for a season? Remember Romans 8:29 that your purpose is to become like Christ. That is something that will not change and is true in every season of life for every person. So if you feel a little lost and unsure, focus on what you can be sure of and that is becoming more like Christ.

Nope

Well, it was inevitable, I guess. This past week my 2 year old daughter Selah told me "no", and on more than one occasion. The first time was after her bath. She had run to give Daddy a hug and then sat down on the couch, covered herself with pillows, and played like she was hiding. I asked her to come to me, to which she boldly replied, "no". I was so stunned. I glanced over at my husband who was holding the baby, looking equally shocked, and then I asked her to repeat what she had just said. A very nonchalant "Nope", was the response. Her look said it all. She was testing to see if this was acceptable. So, I calmly explained that she is not allowed to tell Mommy no, and gave her a little spanking, followed by hugs, an apology, and prayer for forgiveness. Mission accomplished, lesson learned, glad that's over, right? Nope.

Two days later it happened again- this time in public. We were just finishing up our checkout at the grocery store when Selah reached to the front of the cart and tightly squeezed her 10 month old little sister Susannah, making her cry. I told her she needed to apologize and give her a gentle hug, to which she replied "nope". After explaining how this was unacceptable and again directing her to apologize, with uncertainty in her tone, she again told me no. I did not look around but was fully aware I was being watched.

I took a moment to size up the situation and make my payment for the groceries. Grocery store or not, Selah needed immediate correction so that she would not learn from my lack of response that saying no to Mommy is somehow okay when other people are around. Then I got very close to Selah, took her hand in mine and quietly told her that she would now be receiving a spanking. As I was explaining her offenses, she reached over with the other hand, hugged her sister, kissed her on the forehead and apologized. Well, I let go of her hand, and told her that this was a much better choice, collected my receipt, and left the store, again not turning back to see if anyone was judging.

My husband jokes that I have been told 'what's what' by strangers in the grocery store more than anyone he knows. I have been told that my baby is too big for the baby sling and too small for it (all in the same month). I have had a woman pull a bow out of Susannah's hair telling me she is too young for hairbows (to which I politely replied that she was just fine, but I stuck the bow in her diaper bag anyway.) It's been too warm for socks and too cold for bare feet. I have even had a store associate come darting across the produce department and take a pen out of my daughter's hand and then tell me off for letting her have it. Okay, I agree on that one, but she had gotten ahold of it while I was picking out my bananas, and I was not given the opportunity to turn around and take care of it before the rebuke came.

The point is I have gotten my fair share of friendly and not so friendly advice and judgment from strangers in the grocery store. When it comes down to it, that moment was about teaching my daughter to honor her mother, let the judgment from strangers come. As uncomfortable as it makes me to be watched, and even more so to have someone come up to me and tell me I am doing something wrong in their opinion, I have come to the realization that people are gonna say and think what they will. What matters is the conviction the Lord has placed on my heart to instruct and discipline my kids according to His Word. In public or private, disobedience needs to be handled on the spot.

As for Selah, she told me no again a couple days later when it came time to clean up her puzzles. Only this time, I did not have to say anything. I gave her "the look", and she said it all. "Don't tell Mommy no. Sorry Mama. Hugs. Clean up time (started singing the clean-up song)". It's a learning process for both of us.

How do you handle disobedience that takes you by surprise? Do you handle it differently in public if people are watching? How can we overcome the discomfort of being watched and focus on correcting our children in a way that honors the Lord? How do you handle the friendly and not so friendly advice of strangers? (Would love some feedback on this one!)

Prayer: Wise and gracious Lord, I come to you today on my knees asking for wisdom from your Holy Spirit to guide me as I act and react to disobedient situations with my children. Please grant me heavenly knowledge and understanding to handle discipline with the proper amount of grace and correction. I also pray for the grace to be kind and polite to strangers offering advice, even when they are not. I thank you for entrusting me with this great responsibility and pray that my choices would honor You as I teach my children to make those same kind of choices. I love you Lord and again praise You for the gift of motherhood. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Beginning at the End

“Forgetting the past and looking forward what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ, is calling us.” Philippians 3: 13-14

“OOOOO, Mommy! Look at all those beautiful flowers!” My son Mikey was super excited to see a field full of all types of flowers. There were flowers of all different colors, shapes, sizes, and varieties…all in one large field. It was a cemetery. Oh, to see thing through his innocent eyes! The truth is very few of us view cemeteries as beautiful. Why? Because we don’t want to be reminded of death. Although statistics state that 10 out of 10 people die, we never want to think about dying and leaving our kids…even if it does mean being alive with Christ. However, from time to time, it is good, healthy even, for us to remember that we are leaving a legacy with our kids. We are blessed with precious moments with them now, but we will not be here with them forever. In light of this sobering truth, we must ask ourselves a couple of questions:

1. What is the Most Important Thing for me to do as mom?
2. How do my everyday actions reflect what is most important to me?

As I reflect on the first question, I realize that first and foremost, I want my boys to have a personal relationship with the One who created them and loves them the most. I want them to know that God has plans to prosper them and not to harm them, plans to give them a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). I want them to know that they can cast all their cares, worries, and anxieties on the Lord, because he cares for them (Psalm 55:22). I want them to know that although this life will throw us a few curve balls, His ways are always higher and better than our own (Isaiah 55:9).
How do we do that? I am convinced that we have to model Christ in all things. Will we mess up? Yep! Will we lose our cool when we are having one of “those” days? At times. But our overall character should reflect Him. We are to be imitators of God (Ephesians 5:1). In this culture that is not always easy, but we must strive to be set apart in the way we treat our husbands, our kids, our family, and our friends. We need to be slow to anger and quick to listen (Psalm 103:8). We need to forgive seventy times seven times (Matthew 18:21-22). We need to do everything out of love (1 Corinthians 16:14). Even our discipline should be out of love and not frustration…a truth I must constantly set before myself when I feel on the verge of snapping…on the verge of handling things my own way instead of God’s way.
The truth is both God and our kids are very forgiving. If we live a life of love, our kids are more able to relate to a loving father. If we are consistent in training and teaching them, they are better able to understand that our heavenly father is constant. He does not cast shifting shadows (James 1:17). As I reflect on all these truths, I realize that being a mom is a loaded job. We have the best, yet toughest job in the world. We are training up the next generation to love the Lord with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength. We are teaching them that righteousness comes before being cool. We are teaching them to stand up for what is right…even if they are standing alone.
While these reflections may feel a bit “heavy”, I pray that they will give our everyday tasks a new sense of purpose. In light of eternity our the ordinary mom duties (changing diapers, picking up toys, folding laundry, making dinner, playing trains on the floor, etc.) can become an extraordinary part of the tapestry God is weaving in the lives of our children. And when that day comes when our children have children of their own—when they are running around taking kids to soccer practice, packing lunch, and playing tag—they can pass on the legacy of faith and love that we left them. And that kind of faith and that kind of love is what will change our world for Him: one loved child at a time.

Dear Father,
As we reflect on this wonderful and beautiful role of “momma”, we can often feel overwhelmed. Help us to remember that you are with us always and that we were never meant to do this thing called parenting alone. May we lean on your understanding and not our own. When feel tired, please give us new strength. When we need wisdom, please speak to us through your Word and with your still, small voice. Most of all, please help us to remember that you always were and will always be THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. We love you Lord. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Scripture: A letter from Paul to Us—Philippians 3:17-4:1, 4-9 (NIV)
Dear Brothers and sisters, pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example. For I have told you often before, and I say it again with tears in my eyes, that there are many whose conduct shows that they are really enemies of Christ. They are headed for destruction. Their god is their appetite, they brag about shameful things, and they think only about this life here on earth. But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior. He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own, using the same power with which he will bring everything under his control. Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stay true to the Lord. I love you and long to see you dear friends, for you are my joy and the crown I receive for my work…
Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

Challenge: Think about ways you can be purposeful in leaving a legacy of faith and love with your children? How are you doing well in this area? In what ways can you improve?

Rejecting Change

Contributed by our Guest Blogger Sheila

1 Peter 4:12-13, "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed" (NIV).



Sixth grade! I remember it well!! Going from public school to Catholic school was quite a change; new uniforms, a new haircut (like a boy), and new friends (because I knew no one.) Not to mention the changes I was going through physically and emotionally. At first I was kind of excited because of the popularity I held in elementary. I thought for sure I would make tons of friends and be on top of the mountain again. Little did I know it would be a tough year of change and trials. When I look back at the struggles of that year I realize I built a lot of character. You see, I got picked on the entire year. I made 3 friends and they were considered the “nerds” or “outcasts” of the school. I realized what true friendship was. I grew to appreciate people for their inner qualities. I found out that one shouldn’t be judged by appearance, and most of all I now had a feel for the “other side.” I had been one of those mean girls already by the young age of 11. I was selfish and conceited entering the 6th grade but boy was I humbled when I exited.


As we ended last year for my oldest daughter in fifth grade we really struggled with the fact that God may be closing the door for keeping her in the great Christian school she attended. I personally LOVE the school and am very close to many of the people there being she has attended for 5 years and we also attend the church. For me it was a no brainer. I will work extra hard to keep her there!! But, as we prayed and my husband, who has an amazing gentle spirit and heart for God to lead our family, revealed things about our situation I realized this wasn’t going to work. I have 2 toddlers who are still home with me I can’t do extra hours away from home. I began to question if I should home school and we even began to look into public and charter schools. My heart broke! I remember saying, ”Lord, truly you have a better plan! I know the public school system in this area and I know my daughter please God I don’t want her to hurt like I did.”



Deuteronomy 31:8, "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (NIV)



God did what only a loving father with a better plan would do. He opened a door for another Christian school and kept the door closed on the one I truly LOVE. Well, you might think I immediately thanked Him and got on my knees because He obviously knows better then I. But being the ungrateful daughter that I am, I semi-smiled and hoped He would change His mind at the last minute. I thought about my daughter who had a close knit group of friends, who had auditioned for and made the next big theatre/dance performance she would now miss, and the different things she and I had looked forward to in middle school and was sad for her (and I). I watched as tears would well up in her eyes daily as the summer came closer and closer to an end and the reality was beginning to sink in that she would not be in her comfortable, beloved environment and my heart broke for her. I was relieved but praying all the while that we might be able to still stay at the school He put us in 5 years ago.
Ephesians 2:10 ,”For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”



I grew up in a household where we knew who Jesus was but didn’t attend church. I believed in Him because I was told to, but that personal relationship was missing. The “why” was not taught. One day it occurred to me how ungrateful I had been. I was in tears as I realized that truly God had gifted us this new school. I thought about the lessons I had learned in 6th grade and how if I had not gone through those trials I would not have changed my ways on into high school. I prayed at that moment that instead of rejecting change I would be there for my daughter when she hit forks and had hard lessons. I would instill the character of God into her, as Courtney said, so she can see that even when we don’t understand why things happen we can look on at the promises and loving heart of God and know He has a plan to prosper us not hurt us. I would point her to the Bible when she had relational conflicts to see the ways to handle them. I thought about how so many times the Lord changed things in my life and made things uncomfortable for a season only to grow me and give me rewards that were immeasurable! That had I not gone through the many changes I would not be here with the Lord today. What was I even thinking about withholding these experiences from my daughter?! So many times as parents we want to protect and not have our kids feel disappointment so bad that we are hindering them from the true blessings that God has held for them. I didn’t have the spiritual council at her age to depend on during these times but I made a promise to the Lord to do my best to take the hardships and help her to see His heart through it.



There have been a few new and rough trials already this year and my husband and I have been able to support and keep her focused on God encouraging her through them. She has seen the hand of the Lord work for her and identified His character through her trials. For this I am soooo grateful! God always know what He is doing! We may want to fight Him on things but it is His plan that gives peace. I can’t wait to see the amazing woman my daughter will be! I see His hand all over her and I know He is doing amazing things in her and my life!!


2 Chronicles 16:9, "For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." (NIV)


Application
Think of times you may have tried to impose your plan on the Lord’s plan. Remember the outcome? What do you think would have happened if you totally surrendered to His plan? Pray and ask God’s for forgiveness if needed.

Heavenly Father, I know you have my best interest in mind. Help me Lord to fully give you control of every situation having faith that You are the almighty, all-knowing God who wants good for your children. Forgive me when I take the wheel to my life thinking I would know better then you. Thank you God for loving me like only you can and turning my messes into miracles. I love you Jesus.
Amen

Little Reflections

"A true mother is not merely a provider, housekeeper, comforter or companion. A true mother is primarily and essentially a trainer." - Ruth Graham

Definition of REFLECTION:
1. the act of reflecting or the state of being reflected.
2. an image; representation; counterpart.
3. a fixing of the thoughts on something; careful consideration.
4. a thought occurring in consideration or meditation.

We are being reflected. We are training. Daily our children look at our life and with very little words said, they are soaking in our take on life and will reflect it without even being told to. They watch. They learn. They love others how we love others. They forgive how we forgive. They speak the way we speak. They show respect how we show respect. Their heart to serve others will reflect the depth of our heart to serve others. They listen and watch, waiting to see how we handle that stressful situation that came up unexpectedly. What a scary thought, huh?!

Whether I want to admit it or not, I am the touchable tangible "image" my children see of Jesus. I reflect who He is through my life. Our family has seen good things reflected in our children and some not so good. One moment, shockingly, I will cherish forever is when I was in a car accident with my boys. I was on my way to Bible study and totally caught off guard as we were hit. Afterward I began crying and said nothing to my sons in the back seat as the other driver tried to blame the accident on me. My son, Jack Jack, who is two, began praying for me. And although the only words I could recognize were dear Jesus and amen at the end, I was so blown away that he knew we needed to pray. I was so thankful the Lord encouraged me right there that he "gets it" and has learned the importance of stopping to pray.

Other times the Lord will use our children to show us the areas we are teaching them, yet still struggle with ourselves. One night my husband had some delicious food and my son, James, asked, "Daddy can I have a a bite?" My husband replied that he had his own plate and to finish his first. My son then began singing a verse we had learned, Luke 10:27, which states, "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." He then asked my husband why he wasn't loving "his neighbor." We all laughed but there was some truth there. The Lord uses our kids to stretch us and remind us of truth. Frequently they reflect back to us the honest, loving reminders from our heavenly Father of what He wants us to look like. Gotta love that!

I shared with a friend today my frustration over how I want to be a woman of my word who my husband and children have full confidence in (Proverbs 31:11), but feel I am failing miserably in that area. I need to let my yes be yes and my no be no (James 5:12). I need to be slow to speak (James 1:19) before committing to something. As I vented I realized that the Lord was teaching me a valuable lesson. If I am not a woman of my word, then my kids will not keep their commitments either. They too will reflect that character flaw, or sin, unless I confess and make a change now. I am realizing it's OK to say no to some things. I need to pray before committing to an activity so flippantly without thinking it through. So often I want to please everyone that the last person being pleased is the ONE I should be seeking first.

If my heart's desire is to reflect Christ then spending time with Him needs to be priority. It will most likely require some sacrifice and denying of self. Maybe sleep, internet time, TV show, ect. But the benefits far outweigh the sacrifice. I once heard a mom share a beautiful devotion on the subject of spending time with Jesus. She shared about how busy our schedules can be and gave a great suggestion of having a Bible or devotional placed in each room throughout your house and possibly your car too. She reminded us of the importance of taking a 5 minute break to meet with Jesus and what an amazing impact it can have on your perspective for the day. At the stop light or even in the car line, break out the Bible and let His reflection of warmth and beauty radiate in your life. Your children will definitely reflect it too if we will seek His face daily (Psalm 105:4).


Here are a few "reflections" I found about Ruth Graham that I thought you would enjoy.

"It was far from easy. But she had a tender and yielded heart. Her happiness and fulfillment did not depend on her circumstances. She was a lovely, beautiful and wise woman because early in life, she made Christ her home, her purpose, her center, her confidant and her vision." - Ruth Graham's daughter Ruth


"When I would go down to her room late at night, I would see the light on underneath the door and I'd go in, and she would be on her knees in prayer."


"I believe that our heavenly Father, our Savior, saved my mother from loneliness because of her daily walk with the Lord Jesus, He was the love of her life. I saw that in her life. It was her love for the Lord Jesus, with whom she walks every day, that made me want to love Him and walk with Him like that."
- Anne Graham Lotz


Ann Graham Lotz also wrote this statement on the death of her mother: "My mother's legacy in my life runs very deep ... and wide. When I think of my mother, I think of her sparkling eyes — she just loved life. She was full of fun, opinions, and a zest for living that was evident until her last breath ... her arms always outstretched to welcome me into her presence with unconditional love."



As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.
-Proverbs 27:19

What are you hoping to reflect onto your kids?



What are some good things you have already reflected?



What are some "not so good" things you have reflected onto your kids? Ask them for forgiveness (like Courtney mentioned) and let them see you are not perfect. Ask Him to give you the boldness if your pride gets in the way.



This week identify ONE
(a) character trait that needs to change in your life, so it won't become something your children reflect as well. Pray and ask someone to hold you accountable to working on this.
(b) trait of Jesus that IS being reflected in your home and THANK God for it!




Jesus, we thank you for who you are. We thank you for your faithfulness in our life and what joy that brings to our family. You are such a great parent to us, continually reflecting goodness and mercy along with unconditional love. Lord, let us seek your face daily so we can reflect true beauty to our children. -Amen

Above quotes from
http://blog.christianitytoday.com/ctliveblog/archives/2007/06/ruths_children.html
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,284413,00.html#ixzz1cPbzzTk