Unexpected VISITOR Reminded Me of Truth

Yesterday was a nutty day. It was busy with tons of activity both on the playground and in the kitchen. My house was in COMPLETE disarray with dishes piled high, toys all over, and many things laid out. My husband had plans to get together with a few friends, meeting up first at our house, to do a hospital visit together. Honestly I was tired. I was really hoping James, my husband, would just run outside and meet the guys, at their cars, where I wouldn't have to "entertain" or worry about my house. Well the Lord had other plans and a few lessons along the way :)

One of those faithful men got to our house early! AAAghh. As I welcomed him in, all I could think about was the clutter in my home and how it must look to an "outsider." I was stressed yet trying to act "normal."  I tried to smile and talk as I wiped down and organized my clutter as I realized he could care less about the state of my house, but just wanted to sit on the couch and veg with our family. 
 
 LESSON #1
Don't Worry About Clutter & Crazy - your unexpected company came to see you & realizes life happens. 

LESSON #2
Do Welcome Them With a Smile & Act As If Jesus "dropped by." Try to slow down and ask about his day as you would if it were Jesus. It made no sense to stress & frantically clean when he had already seen the state of my house and came in anyways :) Remember they came to see you not your home. 

LESSON#3
Don't be Afraid to put Kids in Time-Out When Company Is Over. So in this season of life we are in, it seems each time we have company over my kids test the waters. Curious if they will go in time out while we chat with company. It is so important, Moms, to remind your little ones that even if company over our "family rules" remain. 
*NOTE- "Pre -Activity", warning kids of expected behavior/consequences for misbehaving, ahead of time always helps kids to align with the rules better.

So last night was no different, my son decided to jump on our couch around our company (he was so excited) even after warned time-out would be the consequence. He spent 4 minutes in his room and came out ready to obey in the presence of our company. Consistency is key, Mommies :)

LESSON #4
Do Take a Break & Enjoy Their Unexpected Stop
Stop the routine and sit down. Enjoy a cup of coffee or tea with your friend who came by. Allow a break in your day to entertain someone... in the name of Jesus ;) Refresh them and you too will be refreshed. They may need a word of encouragement or maybe they brought one for you! 

How do you handle unexpected company stopping by?

Remember your little ones are watching and will do as you do.

Mom, when was the last time you took a "coffee break" with a friend and allowed yourself to be refreshed? 

One Size doesn't Fit All...

        I was a relatively easy child to raise.  I remember wanting to please my parents.  I hated when I had disappointed them and can only remember a few occasions choosing to blatantly be disobedient.

         However I remember my most horrific school experience with so many emotions. The situation is best recreated through the words of my first grade teacher, Mrs. Gregory.

October 12, 1970

Dear Mrs. Bryant,

Joan was reported for turning a flip in the girls toilet today.  I thought

You’d like to know so that you could reemphasize to her the

Danger involved here.

I have talked to her and I do not think she will ever

Do such a thing again; but I shall appreciate

Your talking with her too.

Thank you,

Mrs. Gregory

(please sign and return. Just so that I can tell that you received this.)

P. S. I did not “keep her in” for this.  I told the class

That her mother would talk to to her instead.

         As mentioned earlier, my personality caused me HUGE remorse for this awful blunder.  As I presented this hand written index card to my mother, I was shocked at her response.  She began to laugh uncontrollably.  As I sobbed and mourned my life already imagining my life behind bars, I couldn’t process my mom’s absolute hysterics over my error.

         Moms, my Mom knows me best.  She knew there was not evil intent in my attempt to do a cartwheel. Yes, I had broken a rule, but it certainly wasn’t worth calling in the squadron on her barely seven year old darling.  

         My mom didn’t return the index card (which obviously I am blessed to still possess.)  Rather she wrote a letter to Mrs. Gregory saying she had received it and had dealt with me appropriately.  She actually sent this little keepsake to her aunt (next week I will give you her response.)

         Moms we need to be a student of each of our children. We need to know what correction best suits the offense.  This means each child may receive a different correction or consequence for the choices they make.  There isn't a single response for every offense.  God wants to reveal how to parent each of our children.  We can call on Him and He will show us how to appropriately correct and encourage our children.

II Samuel 24: 14  “David said to Gad, “ I am in deep distress.  Let us fall into the hands of the Lord, for His mercy is great; but do not let me fall into the hands of men.”

Nope

Well, it was inevitable, I guess. This past week my 2 year old daughter Selah told me "no", and on more than one occasion. The first time was after her bath. She had run to give Daddy a hug and then sat down on the couch, covered herself with pillows, and played like she was hiding. I asked her to come to me, to which she boldly replied, "no". I was so stunned. I glanced over at my husband who was holding the baby, looking equally shocked, and then I asked her to repeat what she had just said. A very nonchalant "Nope", was the response. Her look said it all. She was testing to see if this was acceptable. So, I calmly explained that she is not allowed to tell Mommy no, and gave her a little spanking, followed by hugs, an apology, and prayer for forgiveness. Mission accomplished, lesson learned, glad that's over, right? Nope.

Two days later it happened again- this time in public. We were just finishing up our checkout at the grocery store when Selah reached to the front of the cart and tightly squeezed her 10 month old little sister Susannah, making her cry. I told her she needed to apologize and give her a gentle hug, to which she replied "nope". After explaining how this was unacceptable and again directing her to apologize, with uncertainty in her tone, she again told me no. I did not look around but was fully aware I was being watched.

I took a moment to size up the situation and make my payment for the groceries. Grocery store or not, Selah needed immediate correction so that she would not learn from my lack of response that saying no to Mommy is somehow okay when other people are around. Then I got very close to Selah, took her hand in mine and quietly told her that she would now be receiving a spanking. As I was explaining her offenses, she reached over with the other hand, hugged her sister, kissed her on the forehead and apologized. Well, I let go of her hand, and told her that this was a much better choice, collected my receipt, and left the store, again not turning back to see if anyone was judging.

My husband jokes that I have been told 'what's what' by strangers in the grocery store more than anyone he knows. I have been told that my baby is too big for the baby sling and too small for it (all in the same month). I have had a woman pull a bow out of Susannah's hair telling me she is too young for hairbows (to which I politely replied that she was just fine, but I stuck the bow in her diaper bag anyway.) It's been too warm for socks and too cold for bare feet. I have even had a store associate come darting across the produce department and take a pen out of my daughter's hand and then tell me off for letting her have it. Okay, I agree on that one, but she had gotten ahold of it while I was picking out my bananas, and I was not given the opportunity to turn around and take care of it before the rebuke came.

The point is I have gotten my fair share of friendly and not so friendly advice and judgment from strangers in the grocery store. When it comes down to it, that moment was about teaching my daughter to honor her mother, let the judgment from strangers come. As uncomfortable as it makes me to be watched, and even more so to have someone come up to me and tell me I am doing something wrong in their opinion, I have come to the realization that people are gonna say and think what they will. What matters is the conviction the Lord has placed on my heart to instruct and discipline my kids according to His Word. In public or private, disobedience needs to be handled on the spot.

As for Selah, she told me no again a couple days later when it came time to clean up her puzzles. Only this time, I did not have to say anything. I gave her "the look", and she said it all. "Don't tell Mommy no. Sorry Mama. Hugs. Clean up time (started singing the clean-up song)". It's a learning process for both of us.

How do you handle disobedience that takes you by surprise? Do you handle it differently in public if people are watching? How can we overcome the discomfort of being watched and focus on correcting our children in a way that honors the Lord? How do you handle the friendly and not so friendly advice of strangers? (Would love some feedback on this one!)

Prayer: Wise and gracious Lord, I come to you today on my knees asking for wisdom from your Holy Spirit to guide me as I act and react to disobedient situations with my children. Please grant me heavenly knowledge and understanding to handle discipline with the proper amount of grace and correction. I also pray for the grace to be kind and polite to strangers offering advice, even when they are not. I thank you for entrusting me with this great responsibility and pray that my choices would honor You as I teach my children to make those same kind of choices. I love you Lord and again praise You for the gift of motherhood. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.