Doing Right When You Are Wronged

Recently, my precious, creative little girl thought that the Curious George book we had checked out from the local library could use a little more red... well, actually, alot more red. So, she got through about 4-5 pages or so with her red crayon before I caught her- red-handed, you might say.

In the past, we have checked out books on more than one occasion that had been colored in, and I decided I was not going to be that person. I found a brand new version of the same book online for around $5 and purchased it. I walked into the local library branch where we had checked out the book, explained our situation, apologized and handed them both books. Well, it turns out there is a new "no exchange for damaged materials" policy, and I would have to pay to replace the book, plus a processing fee. I explained my heart to the clerk, told her I was a stay at home mom on a budget, and $22 plus the $5 I had already spent was alot for me. She recommended I contact the main branch as there was nothing she could do.

After being transferred 3 times, telling my story each time, a woman finally said she would look into what they could do for me and call me back. She later left a message saying they would do nothing, and said I should work out payments with the local branch. Shock. They all seemed so nice and understanding on the phone. It's times like this where being honest and doing the right thing is tough. I probably could have dropped off the book and pretended it never happened (obviously, they don't check the pages of the books upon return), but I refused to even view that as an option. What kind of example would that be for my kids, and most importantly, what would the Lord say of me? (The message in Luke 16:10 resounded on my heart.)

As I drove to the library, I prayed, and I thought to myself how it just stinks that there was no grace to make an even exchange, and how they were putting honest people in a tough place. I just wanted to get it over with quickly, like ripping off a band-aid, go home, and let it be. Well, after all that, the woman I returned the book to, with money in hand, told me not to worry about it, it happens all the time, and she did not think it was fair to charge me that much money. After I asked several times if she was sure this was okay, Selah apologized to her for coloring in the book, and we walked out thanking the Lord for hearing and answering our prayer.

Would they have noticed if I had simply dropped the book in the return slot as if nothing happened? Probably not. Would my 2 year old and 1 year old daughters have known that Mommy made a dishonest choice? Again, probably not. But I would have known, and more importantly, God would see that blemish on my character. I am far from perfect, but I do desire to walk blamelessly before the Lord and as an example to my kids and be faithful and honest in both the little and big things.

Doing right in even the smallest things and maintaining the utmost integrity is an example I believe we all hope to set for our kids and a character trait we pray we model for and teach to them. So, even when it's tough, when we are greeted with injustice, and even in the smallest detail, let's pray we will maintain the utmost integrity, display our faithfulness to God, and set a standard for our kids.

Lord, I pray today for Your Holy Spirit to guide me in every area of my life. May my character be defined by the utmost integrity, and may dishonesty never be an option. I pray my children will see me as a role model in this area and grow in integrity and honesty as well. Please give me strength and perseverance to do right according to Your Word and Way even when I am wronged and treated unjustly and help me teach my children to do the same. Please be our Redeemer, Defender, and Justice. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Raising Daniels

“Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." Daniel 3: 16-18 (NIV)

It had been an extremely fun, but busy day for our family. Earlier that morning we decided to make a last minute trip to the beach with some friends and enjoy this summery, spring weather. With two small kids this is often no small feat. We had to gather swim gear, pack towels, blankets, chairs, umbrellas, and of course, lunch. On top of that we made a quick stop by my aunt’s house to pick up my little cousin who was on spring break. Then, we had to go to the grocery store to buy sandwiches, snacks, and sunscreen. It was an eventful day, and it was only 10 in the morning! Surprisingly although the sun was hot, the breeze was cold, and the water was even colder—perhaps this is why we stayed so long and literally baked in the sun.
Afterall, we “felt” cool the whole time.

After the beach, I realized that we needed to make another run to the store to buy stuff for dinner. Afterall, we could not buy it before because it would have gone bad in the car while we were at the beach. While we were in the store, I realized that we would have to make another stop to another grocery store because this store did not have a few key items that we needed. Once we made it to that second store, a shopping trip for a few items turned into shopping for a great deal of items because we were now shopping while hungry. LOL :) We were all tired. Oh yeah, did I mention that I am expecting, and I was beyond done for the day? So…as we gladly made our way to the car, I looked under the car-style shopping cart and realized that I had forgotten that I had placed a couple of items underneath the cart. Ahhhh! We needed to go back inside. I had a decision: Tell Publix I owed them next time we went to the store (this option was enticing)…or turn around right then with the kids and go back to pay for the “hidden” groceries. I chose the latter.

I know this is a small decision amidst the many larger ones in life, but this got me thinking about modeling right behavior for our kids even when we don’t feel like it, and when we think no one is watching. Well, we returned to the store to pay for the groceries, but there was no “Great job…what honesty Mom!” from the cashier. She simply looked tired and a bit annoyed. There was no congrats for doing the right thing and saving the store she worked for lost revenue, but still my kids were watching and they knew why Mommy was going back into the store yet again.

Linda Anderson did a segment on “Raising Daniels” in her Mom to Mom video series. She outlined the maturity of Daniel and his comrades from the Bible, and she highlighted that Daniel walked with integrity, honesty, and self-discipline. There was such a wealth of knowledge that she shared with us, and for the sake of time I will not go into all the details. But some of the main points were as follows:

• Integrity: model it and give your kids windows into your choices. Also, put positive peer pressure to work for you—get them involved in your church youth group, etc.
• Honesty: Put a high premium on it, and reward truth-telling even in the face of consequences.
• Self-discipline: Since “smaller disciplines prepare for bigger decisions”, help your kids practice delayed gratification and advance decision-making (i.e. help them establish a plan or guide post before they get into “the situation”). Give them the security of rules and boundaries and the reasons “why” when you can. Also, provide smaller consequences to prevent larger ones.

Last but not least, she reemphasized that we should model self-discipline in our own lives—with our time, money, eating, language, etc. So Mom, how are you doing? I know I could stand to brush up in a few areas. I often need to manage my time better. I tend to do too much too often. What about you? In what ways can you model integrity, honesty, and self-discipline to your kids?

Challenge: Reflect on your own life. Where do you need to improve? What windows to your choices can you let your children peer into?

Further reading: Daniel 3:1-30

Prayer:
Heavenly Father, you are perfect and full of love for your children. Help us to be imitators of you, not for our own glory, but for yours. May we grow in our integrity, honesty, and self-discipline. Please point out the ways in which we can model You to our kids and a watching world. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.