You know how the game works. No one officially read you the “rules”
or told you how to play. It is almost instinctive. You watch, you wait, you
critique, you compare…your children, yourself, your husband, etc. The sin of
comparison is one of the sneakiest problems that we face as women and as moms.
We are constantly comparing our bodies, our homes, our
children, our recipes, etc. There is this desire in our hearts that masquerades
itself as perfection, but really is a part of us that seeks glory and honor for
ourselves. We want people to notice us. We want our children to stand out as “the
best”.
We were made to sharpen or encourage one another. God’s word
makes it clear that we are to use our gifts to edify each other; not make
someone else feel inferior. We also should not shake our fist at God, wondering
why he gave us the life we have, while someone else seems to have something
different or better.
Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and a place for
competition: sports, spelling bees, brain brawls, karate, gymnastics, board
games, etc. However, when we take this competitive attitude and forge it into
our everyday relationships, we are bound for trouble. We either may other
people feel inadequate or we make ourselves feel inadequate.
Lysa Terkeurst references this feeling in her “Unglued
Devotional”. She explains her own feelings of inadequacy as she compared herself
with another mom:
“I gathered
the restaurant bags, sighed, and crammed them into the overstuffed trash can. A
friend had sent me a recipe that day that involved peeling and chopping and
simmering. I imagined her trash can full of fresh veggie peelings and other
things that proved her kitchen produced way more homemade goodness than mine.”
“A little
thread of guilt wrapped around my heart”
“Sometimes
I feel guiltier for what I’m not than thankful for what I am.”
Mom, have you ever felt that way? Lysa goes on to explain
that she was asked by her daughter to speak at a bible study that night. Many
showed up, and many were saved right there in the yogurt shop. She states, all
of this occurred from “a woman whose trash can was filled with take-out bags
and who isn’t the greatest cook, but a woman who wants to learn to be more
thankful for what I am than guilty for what I am not.”
So, do you homeschool or do your kids go to school? Public
or private? Do you cook or do you order out? Organic or not? Do you read music?
Do you play sports? Is your Kindergartener reading yet? When did your child start talking? When did your child start walking? Do your kids play sports?
Do you have a scheduled “quiet time” at your house? Is your house clean? Do
your kids have a schedule of chores? Where do you buy your clothes? Do you do a
load of laundry every day?
Feeling the pressure yet? We are called to help, encourage,
sharpen, and support each other. Ladies, we have so many things we can share
with and learn from each other. The competition game has got to stop. Let’s
delight in our strengths, let’s help each other in our weakness. Let’s stop
bragging, comparing, back-biting, being jealous, etc. Let’s reap the benefits
of a family of Christ, and may our children follow our example and do the same.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you so much for making us so
wonderfully unique and complex. You made us in your image, and our diversity
reflects that. May we delight in the different gifts you have given each of us
and our children. May we use our gifts and talents to glorify you and not
ourselves. May we not pridefully puff ourselves up or sadly beat ourselves
down. Thank you that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made! In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
Challenge: Call, text, email, or Facebook another mom friend
today. Let them know how much you appreciate the way God has made them. As much
as possible, be specific.
Challenge 2: What are some of the gifts God has given you?
How can you use these gifts for his glory?
“For you created my
inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I
am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full
well.” Psalm 139:13-14
“As iron
sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:1