Start With Me

Recently, I had a 3-4 week stretch where I was just looking for distraction in the evenings and I started watching a TV series. There was nothing wrong with the series but there was something wrong with me. I would watch 2, 3, maybe 4 episodes and stay up too late. I thought the distraction would help me feel better but it only increased my stress and it didn't really distract.
 

I was still reading my Bible and doing studies, still reading books on Christian living. But the TV was distracting me all right distracting me from hearing from God. Because of that I started to feel lonely and distant from God. Through this God showed me that when I am alone TV is not okay for me. It is sin because it is putting a wedge between God and me.

 

“And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”  Matthew 5:30

 

Here is where I am taking Jesus seriously when he says to cut off the right arm if it causes you to sin. I am cutting off the TV when I am alone.  My personality is one that leans toward distraction and laziness.  I knew that this was a weakness for me yet I fell into it anyway.  I thought I could have self-control in this area in my life but once again I proved I could not.  So in this area of my life I will call it what it is… sin and cut it off. 

 

This was an area where I thought I could have self-control.  By itself it is not sin but because I couldn’t have self-control it became sin in my life.  I increased my stress with a lack of sleep and caused a communication barrier with the One who keeps me from falling to pieces.  I started to notice an increase in my children’s fighting and picking at each other and I felt very incapable of dealing with it.  So instead, I yelled and was impatient.  I was not slow to anger and rich in love. 

 

“The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.”  Psalm 145:8

 

“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”  James 1:19

 

When I really started seeking God on what to do about my children this is what he gave me.  “Start with you.”  I didn’t know what to do about my kids but God was right I had to get rid of this plank in my own eye before I was ready to help them work on the speck of sawdust in their eye. 

 

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:3-5

 

So, mom, I ask, is there sin in your life that may not be sin for others but it is for you?  Do you need to cut something off to keep you from sinning?  Do you need to turn and run from someone or something?  Is God pleading with you in your frustration with your children and with others to “Start with you”?