Letting Go...Again

"Do not put out the Spirit's fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt.  Test everything. Hold on to the good.  Avoid every kind of evil." 1Thessalonians 5:19-21

I tend to be a passive person until it comes to my children.  I have hopes, dreams, prayers, and opinions when it comes to their today and tomorrow.  However, what I've been learning lately is that by letting go of some control of them (Samuel 17 and Bailee 15) and letting the Lord do his work, I actually feel more in control.  Does this make any sense?  Before you get freaked out, it's baby steps.  Both for you and your children.  As christian parents we so desire our children to know and love God and for them to live a life that reflects they do.  As they enter their pre-teen and teen years we so pray for them to take ownership of their faith and relationship with Him.  To grow in and grow up in Jesus.  The only way they can be free to do that is if we as parents begin to let go.

For example, my son is a junior in high school.  He has been getting inquires from those around him about what he will be doing after high school.  I have been wondering that also.  I see many of Sam's God given gifts and talents.  I have my opinions about what I think he should do.  However, at this point in his life, instead of dictating his every move, the Lord has been showing me that I need to pray more and speak less.  To encourage and Sam to seek Him.  Yes my views and opinions can be helpful, but where the the "real" growing up comes from is Sam learning to discern the Lord's voice. I was reminded of Jeremiah 1:3; "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."  Again in Psalm 139:16; "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."  It is crucial to allow our children the opportunity to seek, listen, and discern the Lord.  Oh boy is it hard!  But wow, what a sense of freedom when you see them walking in confidence with Him.  Yes they will make mistakes.  However, I'd rather they were still under our roof making them than ill equipped out there in this world.  Would you agree? 

Be encouraged godly mom.  As you have sown the Word of the Lord in your children and continue to do so, the Lord is faithful.  Begin to show your children that you trust their relationship with God.  Give them permission and freedom to seek him for the direction of their lives.  Pray and watch the Lord work.  Never forget that He loves them more than you do.

Teenage years are fun!

Get It In Writing?

Upon making the decision to homeschool, we needed a new computer. Our desktop is about 10 years old and I'm pretty sure that is probably about 100 years old in "computer years"! We researched to see what would suit our needs and headed to the computer store. As we walked into the store, I was immediately overwhelmed. Bright lights, bells, whistles and people bustling about. The greeter asked us a few questions and called a salesman to assist us. I have to say, my guard goes up and my attitude changes when it comes to salespeople. 

At any rate, we were assigned an older gentlemen. I was somewhat relieved until he gave me the impression that we were wasting his time with our questions. We wanted to know all of our options, so we could get what we needed and get a little of what we wanted while being good stewards. He was telling us what the different models were capable of, but of course I wanted to see it in writing. He then offended us by the constant comments about how much more money that option is going to cost and how we didn't need this option because of the money. I then had to show him (in writing) the student discount that he was sure didn't exist (even second guessing his manager!) I think I grew even more irritated after we made the decision to purchase. He seemed somewhat surprised, his attitude changed and for the first time I saw him smile! Thank you Holy Spirit for keeping me calm and reminding me that my actions reflect my Creator and serves as an example for my daughter.

Following the sale, he directed us to the install/set up area and introduced us to another older gentleman that would perform the set up for us. He was wonderful! He was funny, smart, showed us everything in writing and best of all... he was a brother in the faith!

When making decisions in life, whether big or small, consult the Lord and get it in writing. His Word! Make sure you have a scripture to refer to when things get tough or don't go according to (our) plan. 

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. - 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Challenge: What decisions are you facing. Do you have scriptural backing? Seek the Lord and see what He has to say about it..... in writing!

PS: About half way through the computer set up my salesman walks by. He over hears his co-worker refer to me as mom. He abruptly interrupts and shouts, "I thought you were sisters!" My thoughts: Best Salesman EVERRRRR!!!!!

The Lord Our Helper

Last weekend, my family traveled to East Carolina University for my son to compete against other teams in the Odyssey of the Mind problem solving competition.  His team took second place in our region and the hope was, that after the State competition, they’d advance to the International tournament.

As a Mom, it was an amazing weekend as I had an opportunity to reflect on the many ways the Lord has worked in my son’s life.  In fact, I would’ve never imagined that he’d be capable of participating in a team event.  

Ten years ago, my son, Chase, was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome.  At the time, it was a difficult diagnosis that took my husband and myself quite a bit of time to sort through.  Long story short, because Chase is an Aspie, he finds social interaction with peers very challenging and stressful.  Actually, this is the main reason I initially began homeschooling eight years ago.  Keeping him home has provided a stable, predictable environment for Chase that has allowed him to soar academically and pursue his passion in life; science.  He’s always enjoyed interacting with adults, but he’s never shown much of an interest in relating to kids around his age.  Until, Fall of last year.

When Chase was presented with the opportunity to join an Odyssey of the Mind team at a local Charter School,  he was initially very excited.  He’s an analytical, problem solving, techno type of guy.  In truth, he’s unapologetically nerdy :)  We knew this type of activity would fit him perfectly, provided he could learn to work with the four other boys on the team.  

For the past seven months, I’ve watched the Lord grow and stretch my son to do things, that neither my husband or I thought he’d ever do.  There were numerous days when he’d come home from practice, in tears, because the other boys either didn’t agree with him or, at times, even left him out.  

I think it’s a universal “Mom rule” that when our kids hurt, we hurt with them.  My natural instinct was to protect him by pulling him out; I hated to see him so discouraged.  But, thankfully the Lord used my husband to reassure me that this momentary difficulty would lead to great growth in Chase’s life.  So, when he would come home, teary-eyed and disheartened, we’d pray with him and tell him the Lord was going to use this.   After a few prayer/pep talks, we saw him begin to believe that the hard time he was going through was all part of God’s plan for him.   

  

Back to last weekend.  Chase’s team did not advance to the next level in competition and he was incredibly disappointed.  Yet, for the first time in my life, I saw my little boy, who recently turned thirteen, just being “one of the guys.”  When it came to take a team picture, another boy on the team even put his arm around Chase.  Never dreamed I’d see that happen.  And if that wasn’t enough to get me choked up, at the Awards Ceremony, when all of the teams were called on the coliseum floor to dance the “Cupid Shuffle,” Chase went with his team and followed along with the dance steps, as best as he could.  I stood watching like a blubbering fool and taking videos on my iPhone.  

I'm still in total awe, because I know only the Lord, could have gotten Chase to the point of participating and succeeding in a team situation.  Over the past ten years, I’ve cried buckets of tears praying over the struggles my son’s endured.  And as a family, we’ve worked hard to help him succeed in every area of his life.  But when it all comes down to it, our petitions and efforts are in vain without the Lord’s help.  He, alone, is the One who can help our children, especially when they face difficult circumstances.  

“I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from?  My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.”  

~Psalm 121:1&2

Perhaps, you have a child that is struggling with something right now.  Be encouraged!  The Lord will help you!  Likewise, He will also help your child.  As a Mom, He'll provide the wisdom and strength you need to be the parent your child needs.  And He is also more than able to help your child, whatever the need, whatever the situation.  When we trust our children and their situations to the Lord, He will be their help and He will carry them through.  

  

On this glorious, Spring Sunday morning, I pray we will be encouraged in knowing and trusting that the Lord is able to do exceeding abundantly above all we could ask or think, not only in our lives, but in the lives of our children.  

Remember to Praise Them

Know the state 

of your flocks, 

and put your heart 

into caring 

for your herds 

- Proverbs 27:23

I love this verse. It reminds me that just as the Lord shepherds and guides my steps, that I too, am to do that with my little ones. This section of scripture encourages me to put all my heart into caring for these sheep HE has entrusted me with. 

That it can be a very exhausting job. It is one that doesn't always get praised and many tears are shed through. BUT it is all worth it when they talk about the Lord without your prompting, pick out their favorite Bible story and share it, or as they say the most beautiful deep prayer before bed. It is these small buds of fruit, preparing for bloom, that keep us going, right?

Many times we are blessed as we see our child honor the Lord with their lips or hands and yet forget to praise them for it. I know that as I raise up my "herd" it is very easy to state the struggles that we are dealing with but am I also using my mouth to praise them when I see fruit that reflects Jesus? 

The last couple of months have been especially hard with  our kids. But lately the Holy Spirit has prompted me tons to get up and use my mouth to praise them for the greatness I see in them. To allow my kids to hear me tell them what awesome leaders they are becoming. In my quiet devotion time I sit down and hear from my heavenly Father truth of how He sees me. I try to remember to do that with my own kids as well. 

Remember to praise them. Get up right now. Find your child and hug them. Tell them one thing you love about them. Remind them that HE loves them and has great things in store for them. 

Sparkles!

“I love Sfarkles!”  I can still hear the precious lisp in little Rachel’s exclamation as she showed me her darling sweater with the tiniest of sparkling beads and sequins!  There is nothing like the voice of a two year old expressing themselves.

This past weekend, my girls and I hosted a Bridesmaids dinner for a very dear Bride-to-be and her mother.  Michelle’s creative juices were pumping away as she decided on the menu, the venue (our backyard) and the decorations.  She had already created amazing invitations that would make Kate Spade drool.  

She used the colors of the Bride-to-Be’s wedding and “kicked it up a notch.”  Down to the colors of bronze and hot pink complete with sequins and glitter, it was incredibly coordinated and classy.  Michelle has the knack for sure!

We wanted everyone to feel special and wanted and loved!  The day after the dinner we heard from several of those who had attended and they said just that.  Mission Accomplished!

Even after a good cleaning of the house this week, I keep coming upon some “residue” from the dinner preparations, specifically the glitter.  All you mommas know what I’m talking about.  A great art project turns into paint on the coffee table, feathers under the table, melted crayons on the iron board cover. “Residue” some might note. 

As I’ve shared in previous posts I’ve not wanted to ever thwart the creative genius in our children.  This “residue” of glitter has made me smile and shake my head.  (Truly I hope I never clean good enough to remove the glitter.)

I think the Lord looks on us like I have at the glitter.  We show up in unlikely places.  I think He smiles. As He is with us, I know He too wants each of us to feel special and wanted and loved.  I think the “glitter” in us causes us to shine and even remind Him of His Son.

So, as I glance around the house and even on the patio and yard, I have to smile at all the glitter, I’m thinking the Lord too is saying, “I love sparkles!”

Psalm 149: 4 "For the Lord takes delight in His People!"

Another One Begins

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power forever and ever. Amen.”  1 Peter 5:10-11

Where one journey ends another one begins.  My season of being a single mother is coming to an end this week as my kids and I are reunited with my husband.  He has been a part of a ministry for the last eleven months where he has been learning to love Jesus.  God has been working in his heart and in mine and by His wonderful grace He is bringing us back together as a family.  Our Heavenly Father is restoring our family and our marriage.  It is beautiful!

Over the last year God has taken my heart many places, shown me many things and taught me even more.

He has helped me to remember all he has done for me and who He is.  He has revealed to me the ugliness of my own heart the selfishness, complaining, pride and unforgiveness. 

He has taught me to rejoice and be thankful in all circumstances, how to persevere, have mercy and forgiveness.  He has shown me what it means to be bound by sin and what true repentance looks like in the heart of man. 

He has given me the opportunity to learn how whole-heartedly pray and intercede for the life of another, to love unconditionally.  He has given me the strength to love and care for my children when my own pain seemed unbearable.   

I have learned the truth of His word being alive and active.  He is teaching me to walk the path of obedience, surrender, patience, and endurance.  He has shown me the joy of what it means to be a part of the family of God.  And something very important that He keeps bringing me back to… keeping my focus on Christ no matter what is going on around me.  

My need for Him has grown exponentially.  He is my peace, my rest, my comfort, assurance and strength.  He is my Lord, Savior, healer, provider and Best Friend.  He has been my Rock, my Refuge, encouragement, and hope.  He has given me patience, endurance, and energy.  He has fortified me and equipped me with everything I need.  He has filled me with mercy for others and shown me great mercy.  He has given me purpose.

^“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is the Father who is full of mercy and all comfort. He comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us. We share in the many sufferings of Christ. In the same way, much comfort comes to us through Christ.  If we have troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation, and if we have comfort, you also have comfort. This helps you to accept patiently the same sufferings we have.  Our hope for you is strong, knowing that you share in our sufferings and also in the comfort we receive.”  2 Corinthians 1:3-7

 

And through all this my kids have been right there with me growing to love the Lord more each day.  This has been a time when my kids could have grown bitter over their circumstances but they truly have grown better.  Each one of them has drawn closer to the Lord.  I was able to comfort them with the comfort the Lord had given me.  And now we are all excited to serve and see where the Lord takes us next. 

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is making those decisions that we know will be difficult for our children to understand.  But if that decision is made in obedience to Christ and His direction it is just right for our children.  Praise God for the things He uses to draw us closer to Him. 

Don't Be Afraid to Share the Struggle

He comforts us in all our troubles

 so that we can comfort others. 

When they are troubled, 

we will be able to give them 

the same comfort God has given us.

 For the more we suffer for Christ, 

the more God will shower us 

with his comfort through Christ.

 Even when we are weighed down 

with troubles, it is for your

 comfort and salvation! 

For when we ourselves 

are comforted,

 we will certainly comfort you. 

Then you can patiently endure

 the same things we suffer. 

We are confident that as you

 share in our sufferings, you will

 also share in the comfort 

God gives us. 

- 2 Corinthians 1:4-7

I LOVE this section of scripture. It reminds me to not be quiet in my times of struggle. Many times as a Christian we put up this facade that everything is ok and that we have no need for prayer. There is this thought that if we share our struggle then we will look like a weak Christian. 

In my many years as a Christian I have come to realize that just the opposite is true. Sharing my struggles with other sisters in Christ is refreshing. It relieves me of handling it alone. Breaking free with great hope that someone else has had the same struggle...this is one benefit of allowing others to pray for those things holding you down. 

Recently at a get together, with friends, I was able to pour out my heart and was so refreshed to know I was not alone. She too had the same struggles as a mom. What a gift to find a friend who would hold my hand as I walked through this trial. We have decided to pray for each other. Jesus had also put it on my heart to possibly start a small group or Facebook page for those moms struggling with the same issues. The only reason I was prompted to do this was because I was willing to open my mouth and be REAL. Be vulnerable. Letting go of my pride, and allowing true refreshment to resonate in my heart as I listened to another who struggles too. 

Don't be afraid to share. Let go of pride. Be humble. 

Watch Him work in your life, through your words, as your eyes are opened to see that YOU are not the only one.  We need to stick together as moms and lift each other up in prayer. 

Do you hesitate to share your struggles as a mom? 

Pray that Jesus would release you, from any pride that holds you back, from being used by the Lord to comfort another.